need feedback from parents

[EngTeach]

I am throwing myself a 40th bday party in a few weeks. It will be at a catering hall and have a DJ. It is a sitdown dinner. In general I am not inviting children, however my nieces and nephews (3 of them) and the children of my 2 closest friends (4 of them) will be in attendance. I have addressed the invites "Mr and Mrs. Smith and Family" to those whose kids are included and "Mr and Mrs. Smith" where the children are not invited. How do I tactfully explain why some kids are there and not others? While I know I am the host and can have whoever I want, it is bound to come up. Any suggestions? BTW I am single and have no children. I am not a kid hater, but am trying for a more grown-up feel and to save some money.

[Ice.Maiden]

Hi there EngTeach. I don't think you have to explain yourself to anyone hun. It's your party, and you can have who you want there. If anyone DOES ask, then simply tell them that only the children of close relatives are invited - and that's that.
Having said that, if you had children of your own, you'd probably feel affronted if your children weren't invited along to a good friend's party, and actually, there's no reason NOT to invite any. I remember going to a wedding where children were off the list, in case they spoilt the ceremony, and several people didn't turn up because of it. When the couple finally had a family themselves, they realised how awful they must've seemed.

[EngTeach]

Hi Ice-
I am having close friends' children. The children that will be included are my family and the others are from very close friends. Those are the children I know and they call me "Aunt". (They range in age from 7-17)

If I included "all" the children of coworkers and other friends it would increase the count by about 20. It's a lot.. I also don't want a lot of children running around the room. I have seen that go on too. Mom and Dad are downing a few too many and the kids run around.

I went to a church wedding once and a child screamed during the whole vow exchange. It's all you can hear on their video. (The parent should have walked out.)

I guess someone will always be unhappy.

[ELVIS68]

Just put Adults Only on the invites, although as Icey said, you`ll probably get a few people not turn up because of it

Remember one thing, you was a kid once and skidded across the dance floor on your knees!

[pinktwink]

happy b'day

Ice is right you dont have to explain yourself it is your night. I would try not worry too much about it at the end of the day you will never please everyone and it is most important to suit yourself. Hope you have a lovely time

[terambulan]

If its an evening meal with DJ etc most parents would leave their children at home in bed with baby sitters. Any teens of the families would be baby-sitting so that almost eliminates all the children?

[EngTeach]

Teramblum- so one would think. Even said good friends do very little without their children. A BBQ or family party is a bit different.

When I was kid, if my parents went out, we had a sitter.

I see people in pub/restaurants out with small childre at 10/11 at night. Crazy.

[Ice.Maiden]

Ah right, ET - I was just going by the mention of child numbers. Well - again - I don't think you have to feel the need to give an explanation. You could even say that you made the numbers up to a certain budget, and after that - no more were added to your invitation list, but no offence, sort of thing.
Have a great birthday. I doubt many folk are going to mind, anyway, especially if alcohol's doing its rounds. Tbh, I wouldn't really want my children in an environment where people might get drunk - not that your guest's WILL be doing - but I wouldn't let this thing bother you any further. Your party - you set the rules! : )

[EngTeach]

Thanks to you all!!!!!
Real Bday is Feb. 14. party Feb .20

[ELVIS68]

I agree with what you say about weddings vows and screaming kids, there`s nothing worse

I`m sure if the people you`re inviting are good enough friends of yours they`ll understand if you say no kids are invited

[Ice.Maiden]

Fab real birthday day!!!! xx

[EngTeach]

Thanks. back to school tomorrow. Going to try to relax now.

Thanks again!

ET

[Ice.Maiden]

You're welcome. If I forget to wish you a happy birthday when it comes round - forgive me. I'm terrible for remembering them, even within my own family! Have a good one. x

[annie0000]

I would make all the invites except for family for adults only, and then you can say personally to anyone that you dont mind them bringing along their kids. That way, people get the message that it is an adult party but you can make a few concensions as appropriate. A work colleague who was having a 40th did that (she said when she handed me my invite that she knew because I didn't have family close by that I had trouble getting a baby sitter and I could bring my kids along if I wanted to but that she wasn't saying that to everyone as only her family kids were invited).

When my neice got married, she excluded children appart from those involved in the ceremony - on my side, that meant that only my 1 year son and my 20 year old twin nephews were excluded, but my sisters little girl was, and on her husbands side, his aunt did not bring along her new born (she had to leave periodically to feed him) and his cousins who brought their 2 small girls along as they assumed that they were invited. I was really annoyed by this. The shoe was entirely on the other foot though when her aunt got married a couple of years later and her own son was not invited!

In the case of a wedding, I think hat you either invite them all or none - however, for a party, i think you do what suits your numbers.