eating habbits help

[lozzylou]

hi all i have posted this question a while ago but need some new advice. my son who is 4 in may is a terrible eater. just when i think we have had a break through wego back to square one. he eats no real meals at all apart from toast. his daily routine with food. is a slice of toast for breakfast. nothing in the afternoon, sometimes he may have a jam sandwich but only max of once a week. then his dinner includes 1 sausage and baked beans every night. if i put chips or mash on his plate with the sausage he wont eat the sauage. i have tried him with lots of new foods but he just wont even try. people have said he will eat when he is ready but he has gone 5 days with no food apart from 1 piece a toast a day, after 5 days i cracked and give in to him as i was worried. he wont eat chips, any type of potatos rice mash smiley faces waffles nothing like that. the only meat he will eat is sausage. has any one got any advice ( please no silly comments of the certain few that dont seem to understand ) i have tried reward charts and treats have stopped giving him pop. i give him water cause he hates it with his dinner and tell him if he eats his dinner i will swap it for pop but still nothing

[mumof3angels]

You must be at your wits end. One of my kids was a fussy eater but not as bad as your little one. If he eats sausage is there no way you can perhaps get him to have it as a hotdog, or toad in the hole and let help mix the yorkshire pud batter up. I presume you've probably tried what I've suggested so I'm sorry. Does he like sausage rolls at all? I'm just thinking if he has sausage in a different way it might get him to try other things too. Apologies if I'm not much help. Have you spoken to the HV at all?

[lozzylou]

hi, he has had sausage roll before and ate it but has refused to have it since. if we go for a pub lunch he has the kids sausage mash and beans with a yorkshire pud. as soon as its in front of him the first thing he does is take the pud off his [plate and puts the mash on his brothers plate. his brother is nearly 3 and will eat all sorts, pasta curry lasagne garlic bread anything you put in front of him. i spoke to my hv about 12 months ago and she said he will grow out of it and he will eat when he wants to but 12 months on he has got worse not better. i would not be lying if i said he has had max of 10 cooked meals in the last 9 months, it really has got bad. he is a happy and energetic child so dont seem to bother him much so not sure what i should be doing. i dont allow any sweets unless he tries a new food. he has plenty of fruit yoghurts jelly raisins etc on offer for him when he wants but wont touch them either. i never know what is best to do. do i make him sit at the table untill he tries or just ignore what he is doing. i have tried everything

[cazzz1975]

if you force the issue he is more likely to dig his heels in, give him the food he wants, and dont make an issue of it, over time he will eventually get bored of it (he will really) especially if there is no great fuss.

continue to cook nice food for everyone and give him the food he will eat, if no one makes a fuss he will get over it and move on

[lozzylou]

hi cazz i was advised this by my hv 12 months ago and we did this for a while but made no difference, we cant even use things like mcdonalds as a treat as he wont eat this either. if he was eatin take away foods and sweets and crisp all the time i would say he is just doing it to get these nice things but he just dont eat full sop. surely after 12 months of no improvememnt there must be something else i could try.

thanks for all your answers though i do appreciate you taking the time to give me your opinion

[ummmm]

Look at it realistically. How many adults do you know that only eat sausages?

He will grow out of it so don't worry too much. My daughter only ate ham and cucumber for a long time. Now she eats everything.

[zzxxee]

have you tried involveing him with cooking get some pizza bases dishes full of toppings colourful thing like peppers sweetcorn and pieces of cooked sasuage if need be get him to create his own pizza and see if he will eat it. kids respond really well to praise try it and let me no what happens

[lozzylou]

zzxxee sorry if i sound like im not taking any of your advise but i really have tried everthing. he loves to make home made meatballs on a friday with me for his dad as they are his dads favourite and his dad works away in the week. he asks lots of questions whats that? what does that taste like? etc etc but will never let it touch his mouth.
maybe i am worrying too muh. he is at nursery and has been invited by his friend for tea twice now, the first time i said no cause i know he wont eat it but the second i explained what he is like to the boys mom and she was fine with it. i thought if he seen his friend eating he would but that didnt work either. maybe it will get better when the summer comes and i can invite his friends to play here and have picnics in the garden. i just worry that he isnt getting eough, he isnt very big for his age nyway and we all know how funny these hv can be sometimes when they see an under weight child.

[cazzz1975]

Im with ummm on this, 12 months is not a long time, what are these treats that you have stopped?

[tigwig]

I would see your doctor and get referred to a child psychologist. This sounds alarming but it was exactly what I had to do with my daughter who was the same. Fortunately she gradually started eating tiny amounts of new foods with loads of praise and rewards and she was on the waiting list so long I cancelled the appointment.
I really feel for you because its such a terrible thing to go through isn't it? People think its your fault and really there's not alot you can do about it.
Seek expert help and in time hopefully he will start eating normally soon. I am pretty sure he won't be like this when he's 20! Good luck!

[lozzylou]

thankyou tigwig, someone that seems to understand my worry. i think i will go to the open clinic on friday and have a chat see what they think. i know he seems healthy but surely living on sausage cant be good for him x thanks for all the answers and opinions

[annie0000]

It's a hard one, the best thing initially, is to work with foods he does enjoy - if he likes beans and he likes toast, try giving him beans on toast - he likes toast and he likes jam, so try toast and jam - when he gets used to having the food he likes in new ways, he may be more open to have different foods - eg toast with honey or peanut butter and gradually build up his menu.

i also read somewhere that when your child has a limited amout of things they will eat, is to make thos things the best they can be - muffins being an example, if you can get them to eat a muffin, make it as healthy as you can;

http://www.sightsavers.org/What%20We%20Do/Caus es%20of%20Blindness/Childhood%20Blindness/Vita min%20A%20Deficiency/Recipes/World3286.html

Kids also need to be presented with a new food 12 times before it can become familiar enough for them to even try it. Keep puttin the food near ro him - even if it in a seperate bowl beside his plate and maye eventually he will crack.

What does he eat at school?

[lozzylou]

thanks for that annie, he dont eat at school as he is only in nursery ahlf a day he dont start school till september

[annie0000]

All the more reason to try and crack it before then then. If he is energetic, he must be getting calories from somewhere, It is amazing really how little they can live on. If your other son eats a wide variety of food, I can only suggest trying some things that you would not normally eat yourselves and make it a family thing to try new foods - your little one will probably eat anything, so he wont go short and you may just find that your older son has different tatste buds to the rest of the family. He will also not feel like the guinea pig if you are all trying something for the first time. He may also appreciate that it is ok not to like some foods - you don't have to like everything. Try going to the supermarket with him and a fresh eye. Look on the shelves you don't normally look at and see what else there is. Try something a bit more unusual - e.g. hummus, olives, salami, cheese straws - sorry if this sounds patronising, you may already eat those things, it is just that I was always a fussy eater as a child, and I get amazed at what I see some kids (including my own) eat and it is things that I would never think to give them or buy for the family.

[annie0000]

Another good one to try is chapatis - my kids love them warm with jam or honey or he could roll them up and dip them in his beans - that's a healthy meal. Another favourite when mine were little was pasta cooked in chicken stock instead of salt and mixed with a lttle butter after draining.

[lozzylou]

thanks for all them ideas annie he is back at nursery today so may take him to sainsburys after school and let him help decide whats for dinnner see if that may help
thanks

[angiebaby57]

Been there, done it, worn the T shirt...and could write a book on it! The only advice I can give you is to a0 check the situation with your GP just to make sure your child is healthy (my GP said that no child he ever came across has starved themselves to death or has suffered from malnutrition!)
I tried every trick in the book over a period of 3 years before giving in entirely and taking the pressure off the whole family. My son ate NONE of the following from the age of 2yrs:
Fruit or vegetables of any description
Milk
Yoghurt
Ham
Cheese
Tuna
Butter
Fresh meat
Fish
Bread(unless toasted)
Cereals
Soup

So imagine the difficulties! He lived on chicken nuggets and smiley faces and toast with ketchup, crisops and chocolate! (more than your child possibly, but still totally unbalanced and unhealthy!)
Will had to go on a school trip for 5 days and the school refused to make special arrangements for him as it was not medical! I wept all week thinking how hungry he must be and when he arrived home weighing 4 pounds less (!!!) he announced that he liked tomato soup! Out of sheer desperation, and through change of environment and peers setting him a positive example he had broken his cycle and actually tried something different. From then on Will slowly, very slowly, started to occasionally try new things. (Please read next post for continuation!)

[angiebaby57]

No fuss was ever made by us, not even with too much praise and over a period of years Wills diet has been revolutionised! He is now 13 and eats so many things, including: Chicken breast, Chicken Korma, Spag Bol,garlic bread, steak, beef casserole, pasta with various sauces, raspberries, strawberries, peas, carrots , roast and mashed potatoes, gravy, moroccan lamb tagine, naan bread, fried rice, stuffing, pesto, creamy sauces, custard etc, etc. which is still not inclusive of lots of fruits and veggies, fish, cheese etc but a MILLION times better than befoe. It is worth adding that Will is 13 and a half, is 5ft 7", is rarely ill and is as strong as an ox with a very muscular physique!! I am convinced that this is because we backed off and stopped making it all such an issue and let him sort it out in his own time.
My friend (who is a GP) had the same problem and her son only ate raw carrots and red peppers for 3 years and he is now 12 and eats a normal diet. Her appraoch was to totally ignore this behaviour and she believes that he had an immature palate and grew out of it in his own time.
It is frustrating at the time and other people do judge you and make comments...but just go with it is my advice and as long as he isnt wasting away then dont make any issues about it and dont let him eat rubbish, and try to stick to allotted mealtimes and snack times. I'd be interested to hear more from you! Good luck and take care.
PS: Will was the smallest in his reception class and is now the tallest and most athletic in his year 9 class!!

[lozzylou]

thanks for that angiebabie, it is nice to know that he isnt the only one like it, i talk to parents at the school and they say no mine will eat what ever is put infront of them and its so frustrating when yo tell them how fussy your son is and get comments like if he was mine he wouldnt have a chooice, or i would make him sit at the table till it was eaten. unless your in the situation comments like that really dont help. i took him shopping before nursery today as he dont start till 12 45. at the moment he is cooking fresh chicken with swede and carrot mash with me tonight and he has told his teacher he is eating it. i have never really got him totally involved in all the buying preparing and cooking of the meals so we will soon see. i will keep you posted

[annie0000]

That sounds positive then, but dont be too disapointed if he doesn't eat any of it this time. Just keep it up and maybe eventually he will. I remember seeing on one of those programmes that they started of very slowly by having the kids just touch or even kiss the food all to great applause, they then gradually moved on to putting it on their tongue but not actually asking them to eat any of it, and gradually the kids started to eat it.

[annie0000]

p.s. I noted you saying that if you put other foods on his plate he wil reject the whole lot - my son still sometimes doesn't like his foods touching each other - I just put them in seperate bowls and let him do his own thing. Since he discoved he likes eggs on toast, he has gotten better at mixing things, but he still doesn't like gravy touching anything else and keeps it in a bown and dips his food in it! Funny creatures they are!