Father / Son relationship

[gordyagusta]

I really really need some opinions and advice here�. I think I may have already done too much damage to my relationship with my 21 yr old son. This could get a bit long winded but please bear with me��.

I split up with my ex nearly 6 years ago, my son then 15 at the time stayed living with me, more because of school location and financially convenient and things were fairly amicable between his mother and I. Up to this point my son was a good polite student, your fairly average teenage boy to be honest. He was even nominated as school captain in 6th year, but this is when things started to go down hill between us.
At this time I had to deal with quite a lot of personal issues, my father passed away suddenly, best mate got killed in an accident etc etc� not a good time for me but I got through however I feel that this is when I took my eye off the ball with him and he seem to have thrown all his hard efforts at school away. When ever I asked him how things were at school I got 'fine' 'ok' type answers but nothing definitive, Turns out he flunked all his exams but bullsh*tted me when ever I asked about them. Meantime he takes up a part time job flipping burgers at McD's. Now to begin with I wasn't too bothered with this because we had discussed that he was going to go on to college to study Media and TV production, not a bad choice I thought and the part time job would give him some pocket money. I never made any indications that he would have to pay dig money or contribute as long as he was studying and at college.

[pink-kittens]

Morning Gordon

This actually could be the making of him
My eldest went to live with her father when she was 15 as she thought the grass would be greener (LO VERY L!!) and she was home within 3 months. She came home to a very different set of rules and whilst she did abode them for the most part, some times she strayed of the beaten track
Just to say really, that if (when) he comes back make sure you both sit down and talk about what you need to happen and what your son would like to see happening for life ot be lived in harmony.
Given you attitude as a dad I am sure you can make it work
Best of luck
From one parent to another

[brenda]

Gordon,

Thanks for letting us know the present state of things.
Really hope things work out.
Don't beat yourself up about all that has gone before.
Clarify your ground rules in case your son changes his mind and try and get the life you want .
All the very best to you for the future.