. Is it normal for my 16 yr old daughter to want a child so much?

[livinmylife1]

She constantly talks about it. Also she always has one of her friend's babies. If they need a sitter they call her. I think that could be an issues. She I keep her from babysitting so much. Or keep her away from her teenage mother friends (she has 4 or them.)

[Lew]

Why would you try and keep her away from her friends?
If you do so then you'll only make her hostile towards you and you could end up losing her.

Talk to her about your worries and talk to her about SEX yes the sex word.
Tell her your fears and worries. but remember at the end of the day it's her life and she will do what she wants to with or without your knowledge.
Support her and be there for her, tell her you hope she doesn't have children yet as they are a lifelong commitment, but also let her know you will support her no matter what she does or doesnt do.

[Shoesandsuga]

Well I'm 12 (I'm on my mum's account so sorry mum) and I think babies are pretty gross. Maybe she's just more mature for her age. I'd tell her about babies being not all they're cracked up to be if I were you though. I mean, my mum was 18 when she had me so watch out... Boys will ambush from bushes and impregnate your daughter! Beware!

[Pigletion]

Maybe she is lonely, often young girls have babies because of this. I know you said she has friends, but maybe she feels she doesn't actually connect with them. It is possible to be lonely surrounded by friends.

Also maybe she doesn't see much in her future, or may be overwhelmed by the enormity of it all, all the choices and decisions open to her.

I would talk to her about it. It can be hard, but once you start talking it will get easier. As long as you don't say her way of thinking is wrong (or her friends are wrong, even if you think they are, she would have to make that decision on her own) I'm sure she'd talk to you. She might even be glad to discuss these issues.

[gossipgirl]

its probably a good thing that she has friends with babies as they will be the ones to show and tell her how hard it is, although as a parent myself i do see why your concerned. If its a case that she loves children then why dont you try and encourage her into a career with working with children? Also is your daughter using contraception? if not i would worry as a parent. good luck xxx

[Pigletion]

Also maybe looking after her friend's babies gives her a sense of purpose, it quite easy to lose your way at that age (well at any age) when you're trying to work out what you're doing and where you're going. I think gossipgirl's suggestion about putting her skills to good use is a good one too.

Hope it goes well

[kira000]

I think it is a good thing that she is actually looking after the children for her friends. At least she will have a good idea of the reality of how hard kids can be.
I would be much more worried if she went on about having kids all the time but had no exposure to what it was really like.

However, that doesnt mean i think 16 is a good age to have children, or that you should encourage it. Banning her from her friends will probably drive her away, let her see them and their life. Then in contrast, subtley show her how much more she has going for her and how much more opportunity she has being young and single and free from ties. Dont push it down her throat, but make try and find ways that she can see for herself.

[caththecrazy]

Is she in a stable relationship?Does she want a baby as she thinks it would be the next step in a relationship or is it just the baby she wants?

I started dating my hubby when I was 15 and would have loved a baby then but it wasn't practical (I was at school, mum would have killed me and I wanted to go to uni)

I think she might be lonely - why does she have so much free time to baby sit? Does she have lots of hobbies etc?

You can only tell her of your concerns and hope she listens - baby sitting is one thing having a baby 24/7 is different as we know.

[Sgt.Rock]

Yes, it gets her a house and she won't ever have to work for a living and enough money to pay a babysitter when she goes out on the pull on weekends. Nothing out of the ordinary.

[lizzydrippin]

Its fairly obvious too that if 4 of her friends have babies she's going to feel like the odd one out with no baby of her own. I think the best people to talk to her about it is the 4 friends themselves. I cant see them telling her how absolutely wonderful it is having a baby to look after 24/7 or they wouldn't be using her babysitting services so often would they? Much more of a chance that she'll listen to her own peer group cos what do we adults know about anything??

[DanAB]

try and get the message through that having a baby at that age is going to stop her social life.

ask her the last time her friends went out and had a good weekend. normally the answer will show her that having a child means she is no longer able to enjoy going out and being a teenager.

there are 2 sides to having a baby, she is probably seeing the good side for the moment.

[B00]

Whilst DanAB's advise is very good, i'd be very surpised if any of your daughters friends social lifes have been curtailed just because they've had babies.

My observations of teens having kids nowadays is that they pop them out, stay at home the first couple of weeks, then dump the babies on whoever will have them and carry on as normal.

It used to be the norm that when you had children your own social life more or less stopped, whilst you quite rightly saw to the upbringing of your children. Sadly, todays youth dont put as much store in that nowadays.

[DanAB]

i can also agree with B00, they do seem to pass the child onto the parents/family and then continue on with their life.

ive got family members who are in that situation right now

[danchip]

maybe she's just lazy and wants an easy ride throughout the rest of her life, with her free house and benefits

[B00]

Sad isnt it Dan?

I know of one particular girl who, had her baby one afternoon, discharged herself from hospital, and went out "wetting the babys head"...that very night, leaving the few hours old baby with her elderly grandmother!!!