10yr old scared of dying

[Hazel104]

I was talking to my (very mature 10 year old) stepson at the weekend and he told me is scared of dying, mainly in a disaster from what I could gather.
He said he thinks about it all the time, usually creating scenarios based on where he is at that particular time or has been that day. We were on a boat at the time (not unusual) and he said for example he was thinking about the boat sinking or he is on a bridge and it collapses etc.

I tried to reassure him that this is normal, and that everyone thinks like this occasionally but he should not let it take over and stop him doing things, but he was adamant he has a problem as it is constant fear. His dad came back at that point and he stopped the conversation.

Does anyone have any experience of their children going through this? What did you say/do to reassure them or help them trough it?

[lollyone]

Hi.
From being around 8 to about 12ish, I was the same as this. I remember laying in bed and physically shaking with fear sometimes at the scenarios that my brain would come up with. I was quite mature also, and I think this is partly why. I listened to adult conversations about cancer, read far too many things in newspapers, and listened to too much news. While other kids were oblivious and carried on playing, I was taking it all in and worrying. I would go for days without eating, in case it caused a 'growth in my stomach' (conversation about cancer I heard). Developed a kind of O.C.D to prevent things happening to my family. I worried about using the pots of glue in primary school because I'd seen on the news that someone had died from glue sniffing. I worried that, after one really heavy snowstorm, the snow would melt and we'd all drown. I wouldn't take my shoes off after I'd walked across the field as I'd heard that there were syringes found nearby and I didn't want germs from them.....

[lollyone]

....My parents worried themselves sick about me. And I hated feeling like it but I couldn't ignore it and never would tell them how I felt. (Even though we were very close)

I think the fact that he's opened up to you about it is a really good thing. He obviously wants someone to snap him out of it, as I did. I don't remember what it was that snapped me out of it but my Mum says that the eating thing with me just went overnight. Maybe starting secondary school did it. As soon as I snapped out of it I was totally fine and 'normal' again though.
I think if I would have opened up and told someone what was worrying me at any time, it would have really helped me. I remember picking the upstairs phone up one night to ring a helpline that I'd found in the back of a magazine because I wanted to tell someone who didn't know me. The line was engaged so I never did it but maybe if its really bad (I don't know how bad he is) it might help for him to speak to a professional? It maybe why he's opened up to you rather than his biological parents??
Having said all that it could just be a short fleeting phase. But it does seem that he wants help with it as you said 'he was adamant he has a problem'

Wow! I'm sorry if I've just completely hijacked that pouring all that out! Its just awful to think of another child feeling the same. I hope it might have helped though

[Hazel104]

Thank you Lollyone, it’s good to get things out there so no worries.

I don't think he is that bad, I think you're right at least he knows he has an outlet if wants think I will remind him I am always happy to listen next time we see him. I know his mum is encouraging to read newspapers watch the news etc, but maybe I should mention this as it may be too much for him and she has not realised.