I am very worried that my 9 year old daughter said last night that she wants to kill herself by stabbing herself with a knife.

[icemaiden]

This was said last night, after I said no to her having a Macdonalds! Now I know you will think she is spoilt but she isn't. Honest.
She said life is unfair and that she would either run away or kill herself. I asked her if there was anything making her unhappy at school or at home to which she shrugged her shoulders. I assured her that if anything is making her sad then she can tell me and I will sort it out, but she just says nothing. We talk often about what she does in school (which she says she enjoys) and I tell her lots that I love her dearly so I really am at the end of my tether.
I am really really worried. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
Thanks in advance.

[cazzz1975]

I would probe the school thing more, its likely that she could be having problems or has broke friends with someone, these can be a big deal to someone her age, its worth phoning the school and telling them your concerns, they will keep an eye on her. which could shed more light on to things.

has anything changed in the last few months that she may not be happy with at home?

[icemaiden]

Hi Cazzz, thanks for your answer.
She has broken up with friends from school in the past and we have always spoken about it, so I am hoping that if this is the case she would be happy to talk about it again.

I know at the begining of the school year she had problems with her class teacher, we met up with the headteacher and the class teacher and it was all sorted out. I know she wouldn't hesitate to tell me if this is the reason again, so I am baffled at what it could be.

[Ankou]

threatening to commit suicide is a clear signal that a child needs psychological help, right away. a child who says that they want to die is telling you that something is very seriously wrong.

all children want and need their parents to protect them, and a threat to commit suicide is a child's way of saying, "i need to be protected from my angry, sad feelings." you can tell your child, "i love you, and i won't let anything bad happen to you."

then make sure to get the help of a professional quickly. this will send a clear message to your child that you are serious about protecting them. to find the professional help your child needs, talk with this doctor or nurse practitioner.

i know she is young, but the best course is to discuss this with your doctor and seek professional advice, it could be very serious or it could be nothing, either way it needs to be taken seriously.

[ummmm]

It could also be just something she came out with. I remember as a child telling my Mum I wanted to be dead...usually after her telling me no for something. I wasn't spoilt either...just wanted my Mum to feel bad.

[icemaiden]

Thankyou for your answer Ankou.

I thought about talking to my Gp but wasn't sure if they were the best person to talk to. However, maybe they can point me in the right direction. It's very shocking when you hear a child so young saying awful things like that. It made me feel very unworthy and a failure as a mother.

[DEN53]

Hiya Icemaiden - your daughter is not being bullied on the computer is she or by text on her phone.

If she shrugged her shoulders upon you asking her about school or home, I would think this may be the answer.

I think you are going to have to be a detective on this Icemaiden - this may be just a one off but if there have been other signs, then you will have to gently probe her further.

Love Den xx

[icemaiden]

Hi ummm....I don't ever remember saying things like that at her age. I would never say that to my Mum.
If she said that just to hurt me then she has succeeded!

[icemaiden]

Hi Den53, thanks for your answer.
It's very hard knowing how to approach her about this. She doesn't have a phone and I only allow her on the computer when I am there to watch her. Strict I know but that's how I am.
I think I need to talk to her some more and as you say gently probe her. In the past she has never had a problem with speaking to me about things that worry or upset her. This has come as a shock.

[ummmm]

I did...and threatened to run away.

They can't be good all the time. At 9 she probably wouldn't think how hurtful it is.

[ummmm]

My son threatened to stab himself with a dinner knife because I didn't buy him the trainers he wanted. He's only done that once.

[icemaiden]

Thankyou for your answers.

A mixed bunch here, I will take on board all your answers, thank you. I will see how she is over the weekend and take it from there. For a start, lots more cuddles I think.

[icemaiden]

Oh Ummmm......your answers are reassuring me slightly. I do hope it's a one off. DId he get the trainers?

[ummmm]

Did he sod....absolutely not.

[LoftyLottie]

Have you noticed any changes in her personality recently or was this a one off? Personally, if it was a one off and she seems OK in herself I wouldn't worry too much. Saying that life is unfair and she will either run away or kill herself seems more like a reaction to being told no about McDonalds. I think it's about this age that girls get quite crafty and try and test their parents out.

[icemaiden]

Hi Lofty, I haven't noticed any changes in her lately. This is the first time she has ever come out with anything like this. I am hoping it is a one off. If anything is troubling her, I do hope she tells me.

[icemaiden]

I love your answer ahmskunnirt! And yes it would make me feel loads better. I think she would love it too. (But as you say,she may not show it)

Having read all your answers, I feel much better than I did earlier , so thanks again everyone.

[brenda]

I would keep this incident as low key as you can at the moment , and has been said lots of cuddles and quality time together. For me personally , I would not want to onvolve the GP at this stage, with the possibility of a referral to a child psychologist , and so on. In my view when a child is referred on the problem (if indeed there ever was one ) can become magnified and re-inforced, and your child has then aquired a label.
It is not my intention to malign any professional who deals with troubled children, goodness knows their job is hard enough.Just suggesting the need for caution on your part, at this possible ,one off scenario.Sincerely Brenda.