leaving my baby

[smartie733]

I have a four month old and have not really left him with anyone yet even for a short space of time. The longest being two hours with his dad. My partner now thinks im obsessed but i really cant stand him away for too long. Should I be starting to let him be with others for longer now without me?

[redcrx]

maybe it would be good for you to try. There will no doubt be times when youd like to leave daddy to babysit whilst you see friends or just get out to do a bit of shopping.

[tamborine]

you must allow 'dad bonding'. Go out & leave dad to cope.

[karenmac60]

You're also making a rod for your own back. If the baby gets too dependant on you always being there it'll make it much harder for you to be able to go out and leave him with someone later and you'll start to get worn down by it all. You need to start trusting others so that you can get a bit of time to yourself.

[LoftyLottie]

Yes, yes, yes. For everybody's sake. Your baby, your partner and, of course, yourself. I agree with Karen. Your baby needs to learn to be with other people - of course it must only be people that you absolutely trust. It will be difficult but the longer you leave it the more difficult it will be for both you and for baby. You never know when it may be absolutely necessary for you to leave him for a while.

[Bbbananas]

Yes you probably should smartie - for your own sake. But, you will when you're ready. I bet he's your first baby? xx

[bobjugs12]

Smartie, can you imagine if you have to go away for a while. For example, you get ill and need a stay in hospital. Hubby has to watch the baby then. Now the two of them will not have had a chance to bond properly, and baby isn't going to understand the idea of being away from you. It's gonna make an already stressful situation worse.
It's also gonna inhibit your sons developemnt, in as much as he's gonna grow up sheltered and a 'mummy's boy'

[LoftyLottie]

I was quite ill after having my son and Mr LL did far more than I could to look after him for that first few weeks. He was actually great, and I don't think I have ever told him :o(. Bit late now, that was 27 years ago.

[bobjugs12]

LL it's never to late. Give him a call now and tell him

[LoftyLottie]

He would think I had gone out of my mind!! I am sitting here imagining his reaction and giggling!

[smartie733]

i do let him go a bit my dad takes him for a walk every day normally about hour and half and i go to the shops n stuff just not longer than couple of hours i cant imagine being away half a day or overnight

[Nosha123]

aaah.. you will learn to - dont worry! Especially when he is keeping you awake all night - you'll be glad of a break!
4 months is very young too..
Its good to get him exposed to being cared for by other people - as you never know when you might find yourself in a situation where you have to leave him behind... what a nightmare that would be for the person looking after him!
Its in his best interests to expose him to these new experiences.. with someone you obviosuly trust to care for him!!!

[tigwig]

I am just like you smartie and I'm on my 2nd child now and thought it would be different this time. I also leave my 3mth old for a few hours at a time but don't want to leave him any longer. I think if you don't have to leave them then why bother? You have kids to spend time with them don't you? If however you are planning on returning to work I would start to leave him now so you and him have time to get used to it. I can never understand why some parents love to go away for the night or longer without the kids cos I am the opposite! I have done this once with my daughter but it was very hard and I really missed her. I know that the kids probably don't even notice but I am just very soft and pathetic (my sister tells me!)

[trotty28]

i really wouldn't worry, go at your own pace with when and who you leave him with as you'll regret being pressured into leaving him when you're not comfortable.
i have a two year old and felt the same as you at 4 months and since the age of 1 i felt 'comfortable' leaving her at my mums but that is only occassionally and she spends time alone with my inlaws occasionally but i am home with her in the week and she is not clingy at all and when she does stay with others she is completely fine and doesnt miss her mum so ignore all the comments saying he'll be clingy, this is nonsense and doesnt apply to every child, go at YOUR pace :)

[Schlomo78]

I had a lot of anxiety about leaving my son after he was born, and had to really force myself out of it.
Mine was more of a control issue - as in would his Dad or other people look after him properly, what if something happened or they couldn't cope, what if they didn't feed him enough/properly. It was a real issue, and my (now ex) partner really got annoyed as he felt I didn't trust him or think him capable of looking after him. Once I did actually start taking the time out I began to relax a bit more, and it actually helped my relationship with my son. Although he's a pest now, so it didn't last long, lol!