Wanting a baby

[Doll]

I am about to get married in August and want to start trying for a baby soon but don't really know when a good time would be. i am currently taking the pill and don't know when i should stop taking it. This is really affecting me at the moment as i am desperate to have my own child. My partner has a child by another women and i find it hard as i really want us to have a baby together. Are there any suggestions on when i should start trying?

[Hgrove]

A lot of mums I know prefer babies born Sept to Dec, which means getting pregnant, say, end of Dec to mid-March.  This is because (in England) those born in the Autumn term start school when they are close to six yrs old.  Those born in August, for instance, will start reception at just 4, year one at just 5, which is arguably early, particularly for boys, so many of my acquaintances believe.

[silly moo]

I think you are supposed to wait about 3 months after stopping the pill.
Babies born March / April / May is said by some to be the best educationally - not sure how much proof there is of that though.

[gingerflaps]

   STOP TAKING THE PILL NOW!!!!!!!

it takes up to 2 yrs for the pill to get out of ur body, i know u can get pregnant straight away and even on it but it takes 2 yrs for it 2 b completely gone, i stopped n 2 yrs later i was preggers, same as a lot of ppl i know. ask ur G.P if ur not sure, im sure he'll tell u the same as me!

[kick3m0n]

I agree you probably should stop taking the pill soon if you want to start trying in August.  My doctor advised we have at least 6 months pill free...and I conceived about 9 months after stopping the pill.  Also, you should start taking daily folic acid tablets as of now  and continue through the first 3 months of your pregnancy,a s well as eating a healthy balanced diet.   I'd pay a visit to my docotor if I were you, and he can give you the facts and figures, check your general health (blood pressure etc) and will be able to give you info on do's and don'ts.  It can take a while to get pregnant, even if both partners are fertile and healthy, so try not to be too disappointed or desperate if it doesn't happen straight away.  Good luck.

[silly moo]

It can also take not very long at all to get pregnant!
Use other contraceptives to begin with.

[insurance]

you took the words out of my mouth.

in a pickle.

[Robinia]

...and mine In A Pickle.

Doll - have you actually talked to your husband to be about starting a family?  Don't even consider trying to get pregnant until you both decide it's what you want. Remember that even if you have several children together he will hopefully always (and rightly so) have a relationship with his first child.

[smudge]

Hi Doll - I also wanted to mention this when I first read your question, but didn't want to appear patronising. I was going to ask whether you have actually discussed having a baby with your future husband, as you hadn't  mentioned what his thoughts were on the subject.

If you would both like to start a family of your own, I wish both you good luck & on your future together.  

[purplefish]

you should start trying when you're actually married

[lisajane83]

i am afraid i have to agree with the last few above - seems to me you want a baby because your jealous of his current child and that really is not a healthy envoirment for a child

[Louise82]

I completly agree with Lisajane and the others. I think you should wait until you are married and perhaps more emotionally stable.

[The Tiggster]

I agree with In A Pickle etc, BUT it's also nice to have some married life together before you plunge into having babies. My husband & I wanted some time after we were married to do some things that we couldn't do with a baby i.e. have a holiday, do up the house. 

Don't get me wrong I know that you do have a life after a baby comes along but we wanted to have some carefree adventures before morning sickness & the plug was pulled on our finances!

[Doll]

to all those out there who think i am being selfish - my partner really wants a baby as well. he wants us to start trying now but i am a little unsure whether it is too early. I have been with my partner 6 years and we have a great relationship together and with his son who practically lives with us as we have him the majority of the time. This was just a question as i'm not sure when to stop taking the pill !!!!!!!!!!   Thanks to all the answers of support though, some great advice.

[Robinia]

Apologies Doll - it was the way your Q was worded that made us reply that way!  You've waited until now so why not wait a few more months & then you'll be married? After all, you wouldn't want to have morning sickness on your wedding day!!

[Doll]

you are right i didn't word my question well but at the end of the day i was the one who wanted the advise not my partner. I already know how my partner feels and if you really think that i would try to get pregnant without letting him know then that doesn't say much for some of your confidence in people. I would never in a million years do something like that. I didn't mention my partner or my future stepson much in my Q as i didn't want people judging our relationships but that happened anyway.

[smudge]

Hi Doll - my apologies too. I wasn't too sure of your situation either, that's why I wrote at the end of my post: "If you would both like to start a family of your own, I wish you both good luck & on your future together".

Happy a wonderful wedding day.

[smudge]

I meant "Have a wonderful wedding day"!

It's been a long day!

[Doll]

It has been a long day smudge. I've been in the hospital with my step son who had an operation this morning but he's home with us know and doing ok.

[smudge]

I hope he feels better very soon Doll -x-