Any nice baby boys???

[stressing1]

I am expecting my second child on Friday and I already know I'm having a boy. The thing is I'm really excited and I can't wait for him to arrive. The thing is, a lot of people I've spoken to have told me that boys are an absolute nightmare! Completely different from girls, they are just uncontrollably naughty and won't behave. Now I personally think it's all down to how the parents are with their children, but seen as one of my oldest friends told me the other day that she hated her son up until he was about 6, it's really started me thinking. So I guess what I'm after is someone to tell me that they have lovely boys who are well behaved and well adjusted individuals, not the Omen children I'm being led to believe all boys are. Obviously I'm not expecting a child from The Stepford Wives, my daughter might be an angel 90% of the time, but for that 10% she can really get my back up! But I just want some advice. Cheers!

[stressing1]

Tigress, that's the loveliest thing I have ever heard! You are obviously as much of a credit to your children as they are to you

[Tigress]

Oh, thank you bird. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It's so nice to chat about them without sounding like a baby bore. I love to hear about other people's kids,whether I know them or not. Sometimes, talking about them makes me sit back and appreciate them more, which isn't always possible in this hectic world that we live in. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[stressing1]

I know what you mean about being a baby bore, I'm soglad to be on maternity now, me and my partner can chat away about what the baby's doing, what my daughter's doing without fear of that big sigh childless people give when I start prattling on about them! At work I was the only pregnant person in the company and in my team there was one man with children so I couldn't help feeling like the rest of them thought I was a pain to be dealt with until I left to have the baby. But now I just think it's their loss! They don't know what it's like to loved unconditionally by this little person that depends on you for absolutely everything, and they'll never know what it's like to look at that person for the first time and feel that rush of love that completely overwhelms you. When I felt that wth my daughter, I really wasn't expecting it, I was only 21 when she was born and completely unprepared. Within two days I was up and about after a section (ah, the recovery time of youth!) and doing everything with one hand so I could carry her with me, even cleaning my teeth and brushing my hair. I couldn't stop staring at her, this little person I had made!

[jodie73]

I have three girls and two boys and i can honestly tell you that boys are a lot easier than girls. Girls are always opening cupboards to see what they can find, putting on that new lipstick you treated yourself to and snapping it in half. They get up earlier than boys in the morning even at the weekend! They are a lot more expensive i.e xmas & birthday presents, on the plus side girls are more independant. Boys are so cuddly and just potter around playing with their toys all day, i'm sat here at the moment cuddling my 4month old son while my 3 nearly 4yr old son is watching cbeebies, it's very quiet.

[Tigress]

I was only 19 (nearly 20) when I had my eldest daughter who's now 13, but when I look back I wonder how I ever coped. I was still living at home with my parents (I hated it at the time but now I realise that it was a good thing), but by the time I got round to my son 5� years later I was much more settled and I felt much more relaxed with him and not so fraught with worry that I was gonna lose him somehow. I found that also with the 2nd child, because you've done it all before, you don't seem so nervous that anyone's gonna drop him etc, and I think that the baby is much calmer for it. I'm glad that I had my children early on. My youngest is 5 and has just started school, and even though they'll be my children forever, I won't be looking after very young children when I'm in my late 30's/40's. I'll be off cruising the Med!! While it's fine for other people to have children later on, I'm glad I've done it this way. xx

[stressing1]

I still worry people are going to drop the baby! When my partner picked Olivia up one day and swung her round I screamed at him, made him jump and he nearly dropped her anyway! A friend of mine is a foster parent and I keep making him pick up the baby they're looking after to practice, never mind the fact he's very close to all three of his sisters and they have two kids each who he used to babysit. I think I'm just a little bit paranoid and overprotective of my daughter and unfortunately I can see myself heading in the same direction with my son. I worry too much I think! But it could also be the fact that my Mum completely took over the first 6 months of my daughters life as she was convinced I didn't have a clue what I was doing. We live very close to each other, I moved out of their home and into mine about 300 yards away, and she thinks she's the authority on everything to do with children.

[Tigress]

Yes, well I would expect you to worry about things, but then, why shouldn't you? You're days away from giving birth!!! I do feel that however, young mums do need their mum. I expect in the beginning, when your daughter arrived your mum thought that she was helping, but I would have expected her to take a step back after a while. I think that the fact that you only live a stones throw from her suggests that she can't be all that bad. But it's good to have a bit of space sometimes. With regards to my own mother, well, she lives only 8 miles away from me which is 15 mins in the car, but I think that she needs me more sometimes!! Bless 'er.

[stressing1]

well, baby is still in situ. Keep getting pains regular and intense and just as we get our hopes up they stop! Weird.
My Mum and I had a talk today, I like having her close but while we were talking and she was passing on her experiences from when I was a baby and when she had my brother, I thought about what you'd said about your Mum needing you more and it suddenly dawned on me, I think that's what's going on with my Mum. I'm not a kid this time, I'm two years off 30, I have a mortgage, a partner and I don't need her as much as I did the first time round, so maybe she feels a little pushed out.

[Tigress]

Hi love, have you had the baby yet? Are you or did you have a home birth? It's now the 13th October and I think it was due yesterday, on your last post 2 days ago it was due the next day. Anyway, I was just thinking about you, and I hope all is well. Hopefully you'll get this in your email when you next log on, but there's no rush to reply!!! Speak soon xx

[stressing1]

Not had him yet! :-(

It's very frustrating, even though I'm one day over, I've had a few false starts in the last few days and we just get our hopes up and then nothing!

Pregnancy sucks!

[Tigress]

Yes, it does suck. I don't think I'll ever be doing it again, it just doesn't agree with me!!

[stressing1]

that's just it though, even though this pregnancy has been long tedious and boring, I do want another baby. Maybe not for another two years or so, but me and the other half have been discussing it and we'd like another one, a little girl. I've been thinking about it so much lately that if we didn't have another one it'd feel wrong, like someone was missing, if that makes sense!
Had another false start today, just after I found out that every single boy in the family has been up to two weeks late! Great!

[redcrx]

you have my every sympathy! mine was 17 days late, obviously too comfy in there just as your little boy is lol

On the upside, he continued sleeping well and even loves his lie-ins at weekends. Sundays he doesnt get up until 10.30. Oh and hes not a teenager hes 27 months old lol

Heres wishing you a quick and pain free labour!

[stressing1]

thanks redcrx. Had two more false starts last night.
Painful ones too! Rang up the delivery suite where I'm booked in, described everything and they said I was in very early labour. Advised me to take paracetamol and use my TENS machine which helped with the bad backache I was having, but then, nothing! Went to bed, woke up at 2am completely pain free, so I got up and watched abit of tv and it started again. As soon as I took paracetamol it stopped! Seems I'm in very slow labour. If this is slow, how long is it going to take????? :-(

[redcrx]

oh you poor thing. I had contractions (not BH but real contractions but baby in wrong place) for weeks before birth but at least they were pain free.

Try the usual, hot curry, pineapple, sex, nipple tweeking, walking up and down stairs, cleaning floors on all fours etc etc etc.

best of luck

[stressing1]

nipple tweeking????? that's a new one!
Everything else on your list we'v tried several times over the last week. I really do not want to be induced as 'with my history' as they keep saying, they'll try and force a section on me and I don't want that. Why can't it all be straight forward????? I suppose if it was straight forward nobody'd do it. Why oh why oh why do I want to be in pain? Talk about weird! :-)

[VillageVicar]

Stressing: I absolutely agree with you! It is down to parenting! I am the proud father of a seventeen year old boy and a fifteen year old girl. They are my blessings! With hand on heart, I can honestly say, not once in their lives has either of them caused me any stress, frustration, disappointment, or irritation. They have never once argued or fought with one another � in fact, they adore one another.

I have never in my life raised my voice to either of them. There has been no reason. My daughter is a prefect in school and my son, whilst not a prefect, is respected by schoolmates and teachers alike.

I believe there is a formula to achieve this.

1. Never let a day pass without looking into their eyes and telling them that you love them. Don�t say �love ya, or any other endearment. Make sure they hear the words clearly and they see your loving face before them when you say it.
2. Make certain what you do is their model and not what you say. I all too often hear parents cursing, arguing, and belittling others. It�s a powerful mixed message when you tell your children not to behave as you do.
3. Embrace your children. Both of you! Parenting is never one-sided. That demonstrable affection must come from both sides.
4. Behaviour: if your child misbehaves, there is no need to shout at them. All it takes is stooping down to their level, looking in their eyes and saying quietly but firmly �this is not appropriate.� Or if you see your child acting out unacceptable behaviours they may have gained elsewhere, simply say �we do not do this in our family.�
Continued:

[VillageVicar]

5. Never tell your child to do anything. Ask them! It shows you respect your child and the relationship becomes two-way. I�ve never in my life told my children to do anything. I always ask and I always say please and thank you. All these years later, it touches me to hear both my children say please and thank you and to hear them ask �may I go out with friends after school.�
6. This is not psychological, but physiological. Under no circumstances should you give your children anything containing aspartame. Besides being a known carcinogen, the copious quantities we are exposed to every day creates hyperactivity, restlessness and worse in children. Personally, I would much rather my children have the carbohydrate of raw sugar than a chemical compound. It takes a lot of work. But I�m also proud to see my children read labels on food and drink products before they buy them.
7. Finally�and this is certainly personal�and perhaps only my own style � write to your children. I�ve written to both of mine since before they were born. Not only has it provided a wonderful time-line for them, it has shown them the challenges we�ve faced in our family � from births to deaths � and how we celebrate living.

I wish you well

Fr. Bill