Film, Media & TV0 min ago
Difficult post for me to make
As quite a few of you know, my daughter was expecting twins, however we were recently advised that she was having what is termed a Mono-amniotic pregnancy, and that the outcome wasn't great. During her fortnightly scan yesterday we were told that both babies had died.
She has now got to wait until Saturday to be admitted to the delivery suite at the hospital where she will be given a pessary (sp) every 3 hours to bring on labour.
She has- to all our horror, got to delivery these babies as normal.
I've pondered since yesterday whether to make this post, however as a few of of you knew about her pregnancy and the difficulties involved I thought it right to let you know.
I'm not really a praying person, but since yesterday I have been doing- I honestly don't know how we're going to get through Saturday and the weeks/months to follow.
If anyone feels this post is a bit too depressing, feel free to report it, it has however helped slightly to write it down.
Thanks for listening.
Boo
She has now got to wait until Saturday to be admitted to the delivery suite at the hospital where she will be given a pessary (sp) every 3 hours to bring on labour.
She has- to all our horror, got to delivery these babies as normal.
I've pondered since yesterday whether to make this post, however as a few of of you knew about her pregnancy and the difficulties involved I thought it right to let you know.
I'm not really a praying person, but since yesterday I have been doing- I honestly don't know how we're going to get through Saturday and the weeks/months to follow.
If anyone feels this post is a bit too depressing, feel free to report it, it has however helped slightly to write it down.
Thanks for listening.
Boo
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BOO - can I just share this with you & all....
21 May early 1940's
My Mum had lots of children, but one of them was a full-term still born baby. She told us she remembered going into labour at home, then giving birth with the help of the midwife - Dad was just outside the room. The baby was then taken from her & the next thing she remembered, was seeing my Unce walking past the room, with a little bundle wrapped up in newspaper. Mum asked what was going on, only to be told that the baby wasn't breathing.
Mum never actually saw her little girl who she named Annette & was later told she had been buried with an older unknown person who had died that week.
She often talked about her little baby girl & only wish she'd been given the chance to see her, cuddle her, have a photo of her & know where she was buried. Mum died knowing that they'd be reunited once again, which I'm sure they are. God bless them. -xx-
21 May early 1940's
My Mum had lots of children, but one of them was a full-term still born baby. She told us she remembered going into labour at home, then giving birth with the help of the midwife - Dad was just outside the room. The baby was then taken from her & the next thing she remembered, was seeing my Unce walking past the room, with a little bundle wrapped up in newspaper. Mum asked what was going on, only to be told that the baby wasn't breathing.
Mum never actually saw her little girl who she named Annette & was later told she had been buried with an older unknown person who had died that week.
She often talked about her little baby girl & only wish she'd been given the chance to see her, cuddle her, have a photo of her & know where she was buried. Mum died knowing that they'd be reunited once again, which I'm sure they are. God bless them. -xx-
After reading netibiza's post, sorry for your loss too btw, it reminded me of another way to remember your grandsons. Buy two helium balloons with whatever you want the to say on, and take them somewhere speical to you and your daughter, and release them, saying your goodbyes as they go. This was done on the anniversary of my step mums death this year as we dont yet have a memorial place for her as her ashes are going to be taken to America for her final resting place.
Will be thinking about you at this very difficult time. Please remember that the boyfriend is also in need of great support, as he will be grieving too and worrying about your daughter and trying to be strong for her. I hope that you get through tomorrow and that your family is able to come to terms with what has happened and in the coming months are stronger and able to talk about this terribly sad thing that has touched you all. Be strong, but don't bottle it up - talk to each other even if it is really difficult to do so at the minute. I had a late miscarriage and know how difficult this time is for you and your family.
Dear BOO - just to say I'll be thinking about you all tomorrow (especially the little ones - little angels, now, at peace and not having to know the sadness and horrors of this world). Lots of love to you all, especially your daughter and her boyfriend. Be strong, be brave. Always love, never forget, but learn to carry on. Love, K xxxx
Hi BOO - just tuned in to say that I'll be thinking of your daughter, her boyfrend, you & your family tomorrow. I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight too. -xx-
P.S. I hope you didn't mind me sharing my Mum's experience with you BOO, but felt that having a photo & knowing where the little ones will be, may be of comfort to you all. Arms around you.-xx-
P.S. I hope you didn't mind me sharing my Mum's experience with you BOO, but felt that having a photo & knowing where the little ones will be, may be of comfort to you all. Arms around you.-xx-
Hi Boo, thinking of you and yours this morning. Just wanted to add to something you said about not feeling you're supporting your daugter. It's a different situation slightly and I hope that I don't upset you in anyway, but I have previously had to have a termination and my mum was in peices, I don't remember crying or being upset myself. I only remember being told when the little one had passed, but I knew because I had felt and seen it. I was very early on - about 9 weeks. I think my not remembering was probably my way of coping at the time, I was younger than your daughter is now.
Your daughter is very lucky to have a mum like you, my mum found it hard to cope and I spent most of my time consolling her! All the same, it helped me knowing that she was there for me every step of the way - even if it was her that was snotting on my shoulder! LOL ;-)
I know it was just that she wished it was her going through it for me. Your daughter's stength of character will amaze both you and herself, and you will look back and wonder how you got through it, but you will.
Sorry I can't offer any advice on memorials or anything but I simply don't think I was given the choice becase it was so early.
I hope my rambled post makes sense, I know you'll have have strength to get through today and I know you and your daughter will be stronger for it. I'll be thinking of you all X X X
P.S. I probably won't be online until Monday now but Iwill catch up with everything then if I can't do before X
Your daughter is very lucky to have a mum like you, my mum found it hard to cope and I spent most of my time consolling her! All the same, it helped me knowing that she was there for me every step of the way - even if it was her that was snotting on my shoulder! LOL ;-)
I know it was just that she wished it was her going through it for me. Your daughter's stength of character will amaze both you and herself, and you will look back and wonder how you got through it, but you will.
Sorry I can't offer any advice on memorials or anything but I simply don't think I was given the choice becase it was so early.
I hope my rambled post makes sense, I know you'll have have strength to get through today and I know you and your daughter will be stronger for it. I'll be thinking of you all X X X
P.S. I probably won't be online until Monday now but Iwill catch up with everything then if I can't do before X
Dearest Boo
I�m so deeply saddened to hear of this tragic loss for your family. Finding the right words of comfort, not only for your daughter and son in law, but for you, will seem elusive. And it is at a time such as this when we so desperately search for understanding as to why.
Within the AB family, our sadness is compounded as we have another member who has also suffered a similar loss recently.
Finding the right words of comfort are elusive. I feel for your daughter, you won�t need any words; just you being there will provide the nurturing love she needs right now. And your son in law will need them too. Too often men attempt to hide their emotions, to mask them in activities, or forms of escape. If you find that he cannot talk, please don�t think he�s being insensitive. Recognise the pain for what it is. There will be much more communicated in an embrace than any words can offer.
Boo, may I ask please, in what trimester is your daughter? I gather from the procedure taking place, she is either well into her second trimester, or even possibly her third.
Continued
I�m so deeply saddened to hear of this tragic loss for your family. Finding the right words of comfort, not only for your daughter and son in law, but for you, will seem elusive. And it is at a time such as this when we so desperately search for understanding as to why.
Within the AB family, our sadness is compounded as we have another member who has also suffered a similar loss recently.
Finding the right words of comfort are elusive. I feel for your daughter, you won�t need any words; just you being there will provide the nurturing love she needs right now. And your son in law will need them too. Too often men attempt to hide their emotions, to mask them in activities, or forms of escape. If you find that he cannot talk, please don�t think he�s being insensitive. Recognise the pain for what it is. There will be much more communicated in an embrace than any words can offer.
Boo, may I ask please, in what trimester is your daughter? I gather from the procedure taking place, she is either well into her second trimester, or even possibly her third.
Continued
Part 2
Having worked so many years of my life with children and paediatric hospice, I�m often contacted regarding losses involving children �whether it is the loss of a child, or there are children who are survivors of the loss of a parent. Each situation is unique and must be treated as such. Exasperatingly, a number of my fellow clergy seem incapable of recognising this. And it angers me.
May I please offer you a few thoughts I�ve shared in the past regarding such losses. I offer them recognising that your faith may be different than mine. I mean no offence and by no means do I offer these thoughts with the intent to proselytise. They are merely offered for reflection.
http://bigworldsmallboat.blogspot.com/2006/06/ finding-right-words-of-comfort.html
http://anglicans.blogspot.com/2006/06/funeral- of-child.html
http://bigworldsmallboat.blogspot.com/2006/06/ death-of-child.html
Boo, if there is anything I may do to assist you or your family, please do not hesitate to contact me. [email protected]
You are all in my thoughts and prayers
Fr Bill
Having worked so many years of my life with children and paediatric hospice, I�m often contacted regarding losses involving children �whether it is the loss of a child, or there are children who are survivors of the loss of a parent. Each situation is unique and must be treated as such. Exasperatingly, a number of my fellow clergy seem incapable of recognising this. And it angers me.
May I please offer you a few thoughts I�ve shared in the past regarding such losses. I offer them recognising that your faith may be different than mine. I mean no offence and by no means do I offer these thoughts with the intent to proselytise. They are merely offered for reflection.
http://bigworldsmallboat.blogspot.com/2006/06/ finding-right-words-of-comfort.html
http://anglicans.blogspot.com/2006/06/funeral- of-child.html
http://bigworldsmallboat.blogspot.com/2006/06/ death-of-child.html
Boo, if there is anything I may do to assist you or your family, please do not hesitate to contact me. [email protected]
You are all in my thoughts and prayers
Fr Bill
