do you drive? couldnt you help her out by taking her shopping or something? my gut feeling is that there is perhaps a little more going on in her relationship that she is maybe letting on. Was fridgegate really a accident, i can see how that would happen accidently and causing that much damage? He drives past her when walking the kids to school, he doesnt buy mothers day gifts for her. sounds to me that hes a bit of a ba*#?ard and that he gets pleasure out of seeing her struggle.
I would have a long chat with your friend and ask exactly whats going on, i dont think by what youve said on here that her mam would give that much of a toss, she should see that she is struggling or feeling down and be helping both daughters equally.