Short term relationships, producing a baby....

[hazel999]

My friend started seeing somone last year, the relationship lasted about 6weeks, during their relationship they only saw eachother twice a week and they met randomly so have no mutual friends or did not know eachother before hand.
I pretty much think their strangers really, but in that time she fell pregnant.

I remember my friend telling me about the night and she said she told him she would get the morning after pill, which she didn't. I know it sound's naieve but she really didn't think she was pregnant and was totally shocked when she found out.

He didn't want the baby from day one, said he couldn't afford a child...their relationship ended and they spoke every now and then up until she was about 3months. There now has been no contact whatsoever and she has had the baby and he know's this.

My friend was saying she knew she ws going in to this alone and didn't need him or his money and found out about 2weeks ago he has a serious girlfriend. She then text me saying hahahaha, I have called the csa on him.
Anyway, I find myself torn (not that I voice this to her as it's none of my business) and just wanted to her other people's opinions really. I think yes he should pay it's his child and then part of me thinks, well he voiced he never wanted the child and thought she was going to take the morning after pill and has she only called the csa to be malicious.

[hazel999]

oh and she does not want him to have any parental rights to this child.

[jackthehat]

It's a knotty problem....

If only the chap had decided to take responsibility for his contraception..

Another poor child born into a difficult situation which can only deteriorate.

[Old_Geezer]

I'm no expert but I think he should accept responsibility and she should not deprive the child of their father. If she has dragged the CSA into this (without even trying to sort the situation first) then my guess is that she has probably thrown away any chance to take parental rights from the father. To do so she would have had to refuse to tell anyone anything, refuse to name the father, and so forth.

It doesn't seem to me that forward thinking is her strong point.

[Prudie]

Rightly or wrongly the CSA will say he has to pay. I'm sorry but this makes me cross with women who do this - the sceptic would say she had the baby just to gather the financial benefits that come with it. The contraception issue is a 50-50 responsibility but after that he made it clear he wasn't interested in being a father. I feel sorry for babies born into such circumstances.

[milly143]

If he really didn't want a child the least he should have done was wear a condom. They both sound like tools though.

[hazel999]

It is difficult, I think if she is willing to take his money and have his child if he then wants access he she get it.

[milly143]

I don't believe she will have any choice in the matter if he decides to take it further. She can't just expect money off him and not let him have anything to do with his child. To be honest it's sounds as though she's just being spiteful because she is jealous of his new relationship. This is a very sad situation to put her child through.

[joeluke]

They were both very irresponsible contraception wise, but now they should both do what is best for the child - he needs to pay, she needs to allow him access

[sara3]

she only wants his money now he has a serious girlfriend, and she thinks that's funny? she sounds like Jeremy Kyle material to me, but none-the-less he should pay and, if he's worth anything he'll want to play a part in this child's life.

I hope she doesn't do this again.

[albaqwerty]

I know it only takes one occasion to make a child, but if she has dragged CSA into the equation, couldn't he ask for DNA testing.

If he is unequivocally the father, he pays. If he doen't want a relationship with the child then that's up to him.

[fairycakes69]

I know I'm going to get shot down here, but as I see it they were both wrong not taking protection, but she did tell him she would take the morning after pill and he had no reason not to believe her. She decided to go ahead with having the baby and in my view it is up to her to provide for the child. And of course she called the CSA only to be malicious, he is moving on with his life and she isn't. If she was my friend I would be telling her she made her decision and now has to live with what she has done, I know she wouldn't like it, but it should be said.

[hazel999]

I split up with my little boys father when he was 18months, he is now 7 and he isn't a great father by any means. Comes and goes as he pleases,won't see or even call for weeks on end but I don't stop him seeing him. I wouldn't want to be the reason my son doesn't have a father in his life. I think the saying is ''give em enough rope let them hang themselves''. When my son is older he'll know it was his dad that didn't bother and wont resent me in any way. and I have tried telling her this many times but her mind is made up it seems

[whiskeysheri]

Now that the baby is here, yes, he should have to pay.

Obviously, it should go without saying that contraception is the guy's responsibility, too, but how do we know they didn't use a condom and that it simply split? He couldn't have physically made her take the Morning After Pill, and these things do happen.

It's the situation I pray my little brother never finds himself in,

[karenmac60]

She has treated him as a sperm donor and she has a cheek now to expect money from him, but if he was that concerned about not becoming a father he should've worn a condom. I pity the child really....

[whiskeysheri]

He might've worn a condom, Karen. Then I'll feel REALLY sorry for him!

[mike11111]

Before he forks out a penny he needs a DNA paternity test.