I am asking this question seriously...because I have just seen the trailer for JO Frost

[smart1]

...what is it I don't 'get' in regard to parenting in current times? Do they (the kids) get to do what they want to do/eat because of the parental 'no slap' rule - OR - is it because parents will give in to anything because they want a quiet life?

[emmie]

i don't believe parents should hit their children, but that's another story as they say, it's the fact many parents don't engage with their children, read stories to them, and care about them in the way you should. Neglect, bad parenting skills, and the fact its been generation led, one after the other.
If there are little or no parenting skills, how will that child then grow up and know how to be a parent to their child, they won't, only see how they were treated as a child, and so on. Perhaps its time to really start taking the problem of unruly children seriously, and start with the the parents, before the child comes into the world, a degree of discipline, structure, love and nurture are what makes a reasonably well balanced and happy child. No should mean no, not give in to every demand, and that sadly is how life in Britain has become for many

[smart1]

I totally agree with you - but where has it all gone wrong? When my kids were little (in the 80's with both parentsworking) we were skint. I can remember on many occasions sitting down to our evening meal with a pack of '4 Findus Crispy Pancakes' (2 adults, 2children) between us. We had no choice but to 'fill up' on bread and spuds. My daughter brought her son up the same - he ate what she could give him - but since he went to live with his father & his partner, anything goes. If he doesn't want the family meal. he van just eat his way through a Multipack of crisps!

[carmalee]

at every meal my children always, without exception had two choices - take it or leave it. It has done them no harm whatsover.

[smart1]

Or, maybe they hav too much money, cos we couldn't entertain the crisps alternative!

[smart1]

That is my point Carmalee - but where has it all gone wrong? That a kid nssts on a diet of Custard Creams????

[B00]

Again i disagree with em (really sorry, not doing it on purpose!) Up until we got all tree huggy with our children did parents ever engage or interact much with their children. Infact, isn't there a saying that children should be seen and not heard?

What is missing is discipline, and instilling respect for ourselves and each other. I know i sound horribly old fashioned, but my child respects us her parents and other elders, no matter who they are. If she doesn't, she knows the consequences, i'll smack her. THAT is what's missing in these current times.

[karenmac60]

Too many parents want to be their kids' friends these days and are scared to say no. There is a certain amount of peer pressure in this - people think they'll be seen as bad parents if they don't give little Tallulah or Johnny whatever they want. As a result, the kids rule the roost. It may start off small - not wanting a toddler to have a tantrum in the supermarket, but it snowballs till you have a bunch of wee terrors doing whatever they like and mummy and daddy standing by while the little darlings 'express themselves'. It's often not the kids who need a slap - it's the parents!

[smart1]

I have to differ Boo - I read both my kids a bedtime story, asked them aboueir day(even before it became 'fashionable', and now I am proud to say that after gaining his 'A' levels, my son after 10 yrs in the British Army is a Sargeant, and my daughter is fully employed as a Customer Servicer officer. I think my point is that poverty isn't necessarily a bad thing. Maybe if today's youngxters were allowed to feel poverty, they would appreciate more what they have.

[arwyn]

I agree with boo and karenmac.

[B00]

im going back decades/centuries smart, not recent history.

Seriously, can you see Victorian parents doing half of what we do with our children?

[smart1]

I agree Karenmac - definitely the parents. As I said, they prefer the easy life.

[4getmenot]

kind of agree with boo about a smack but only as shock tactic when younger. When they are old enough to talk they are old enough to listen.

[smart1]

Boo = Can you imagine ANYONE - past or present- thinking it is OK to allow kids to survive on custard creams alone?

[arwyn]

I smacked my Son and read to him (not at the same time) lol
But I agree that something really has gone wrong with parenting over the years.

[B00]

No smart, why im saying we need discipline back.

[jno]

of course, Victorian parents sent their kids up chimneys when they were five. We decided against this for jno jnr. Health and safety.

[B00]

Dunno why jno, those little fingers are excellent for getting into trixsy corners, plus you'd have saved a fortune in chimney sweeps.

[carmalee]

I think that peer pressure is a factor - I think parents are afraid to alienate their children from them by imposing rules. However I firmly believe, my house, my rules and suffer the consequences if you over step the mark. An interesting comment made by my daughter (40 years old ) - is that now both she and her brother are parents, they agree that whatever problems they had as children, they always knew where they stood and felt very safe and secure about that. They knew they would be for the high jump over certain things but they always felt loved.

[smart1]

I didn't smack my kids, they knew if they didn't eat what I put in front of them, there WAS no alternative. Sorry Boo - since the late 80's - early 90's the 'tree huggers' have been trying to persuade everyone that our kids are princes and princesses. And they aren't. And nobody should tell them they are.

[B00]

I'm really confused with your replies to me smart. I'm agreeing with you, yet you seem to think im not.

Am I missing something?