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AB Editor | 09:21 Mon 25th Jul 2011 | Family & Relationships
48 Answers

This poll is closed.

Who is better at looking after children?

  • Parents - 77 votes
  • 64%
  • Grandparents - 44 votes
  • 36%

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Stats until: 05:20 Thu 18th Apr 2024 (Refreshed every 5 minutes)


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"And what the poster above me said ^ (and said it very well!)"
Thank you loftylottie. :)
I would never have left my very yound children with my mother, (left one of my sons with her, which resulted in me having a hissy fit) She was in the very early stages of dementia.

Left afore-mentioned son a couple of months later in the care of my MIL. Brilliant, no problems and this lady had MS.

Each, however, were born 10 years apart (1923-ish and 1932-ish)

Even now, there are changes from when mine where small to what is advised by midwives now.
I think the loss of the extended family is one of the many complex reasons for the decline in behaviour in society.

From my own perspective, we have an extended family - my wife's parents, us, our three girls, and their partners and children, so everyone gets a wide variety of conversation, opinions, company and overall family experience.

I don;t think that grandparents should relied on as surogate parents - but i do think they have a valuable role to play in enforcing parental discipline, whilst being careful never to undermine parents, even if their ways are not your own, as can sometimes be the case.
That would be the ideal Andy. But in fact is rarely reality. It's not only from family that children can get experience of all types of people and all ages of people. Sometimes friends can be better at looking after children than grandparents. Not all grandparents want to look after their grandchildren, i.e. me. (I haven't got any and don't mind if I never have any).
Very true andy-hughes. In other cultures the elders are treated with great respect and this filters through to the kids and grandkids. In our society we seem quick to punish the grandparents by refusing them to see the grandchildren or quick to cart them off to elderly homes as soon as they become a "burden" where they are "out of sight out of mind) Which is not the normal practice in many other parts of the world. I do understand the need for elderly homes for a variety of reasons which are sometimes genuine. We need to bring back these core values and I for one believe that this will help rebuild our shattered family society.
May be something to do that everybody these days is expected to be working until they reach their 60's (even when they have children) and these elderly people were usually looked after by married daughters.

These days, children are put in nurseries, old people have to go into homes. It's also a very materialistic culture we live in now. And I don't care what anybody says, the fact that people feel the need for working all through parenthood and into old age is driven by the need to maintain quite a high standard of living. People were not so greedy and materialistic years ago.

We have got a bit off topic!!
Nonsense wrong3number....Not many people would cart their old folks off to homes if they had the means to look after them.

Life is becoming increasingly more expensive. You just have to look at the average age of the first time buyer now.....People cannot afford to do what was done in the past.

Doesn't mean extended families no longer exist....they just exist in a different way.

I have, relatively, young parents, who were both still working full time when my kids were young. I had to work when mine were little....I had no choice in the matter...

We've never lived in an ideal world....regardless.
I know ummmm hence " I do understand the need for elderly homes for a variety of reasons which are sometimes genuine."
I would guess 'mostly genuine'

It's horrible seeing them go in to homes....truly awful :-(
I wholeheartedly agree.
-- answer removed --
Nice one Ed.

ummmm. Just a small point, again off subject, buy re average age of first time buyer.

When we first bought our house it was virtually unheard of for single people to buy homes. It was married people that bought their homes on the strength of two salaries. We just about managed to scrape by every month. All our furniture, curtains, etc. were cast offs from friends and family and we had no white goods whatsoever and no carpets. Sometimes I couldn't afford the bus fare to work by the end of the week. Most of our friends rented.

These days more and more single people are feeling uptight that they can't get on the property ladder. There was no way we could have got a mortgage on the strength of one salary. Times have changed and expectations of buying houses are higher.

Few in my parents generations couldn't afford to buy houses just after the ward years - then came an affluent period where home ownership became the norm. This has now been take for granted. I suppose we have just gone back to what my parents experienced. We have come to expect too much.
but instead of buy!!
Must take time to edit.

War years
Yes, I agree Lottle but....the house next door to me is rented out for £650 per month. So renting is not always affordable either.

It's a no win situation.... neighbours, who rent their house, have been split up for near on two years. They have no choice but to stay there. Neither can pay the rent without the other.
War years LL.!!??....I thought I was one of the few on AB who was qualified to talk about such things....but feel sure I would be suspended if I went into detail about my life during the second world war.

Without my Grandparents, I wouldn't be here today.

Nevertheless I still haven't voted in the Ed's poll for reasons which cannot be published, but of which you may well be aware.

Again though ummmm, years ago mostly people lived at home with their parents until they married, so it was two people who rented as well. Students and young people rented accommodation usually five to a flat or something like that. But these days more and more single people are wanting their own pad. £650.00 between two people is do-able, but not just one person.

But we didn't expect to have new furniture and go on holidays as well as setting up home.

Ron, I was born just after the war, not during the war - but I remember the post war years and, yes, I remember ration books. I also remember how pleased my parents were to get a brand new council flat in 1952 after living in basically two spartan rooms in a very miserable old flat.
I still think we have much higher expectations these days. All of us, me included. We have got to used to a really good standard of living and things have changed. We really aren't as badly off as we all seem to think we are.
carry on're making me feel young :-)

£650...completely doable.....but add 2 kids into the mix and suddenly it's not.

I read somewhere that England is the only country in Europe obsessed with buying property. Most just rent...

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