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How do I prove to her I haven't cheated on her?

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Eddie-R | 23:09 Wed 31st Aug 2011 | Family & Relationships
20 Answers
I've been with my wife since mid 2006, we got married in September 2008 and I am so in love with her. I never dreamt I could be so happy with someone as I am with her. But we were at a friend's party a couple of weeks ago and my ex girlfriend was there. When I was in the kitchen my ex came in and stood a bit too close for comfort, I told her to back off but short of actually physically pushing her there was no way she was going to move, she started kissing me and my wife walked in and saw her, I pushed my ex away straight away but to my wife if looked as if I'd pushed her away because she'd walked in. My wife hasn't spoken to me since and I'm staying at my mum's house. How can I prove to her that I didn't cheat on her?

((Sorry I originally posted this in the wrong category))


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you can't prove it. either she chooses to believe/trust you or not.

unless you want to go on Jeremy Kyle and have a lie detector test.
you can't..........she either trust you, or she doesn't!................she obviously doesn't!..........all you can do is to explain the situation and hope that she believes you!.........
was the ex drunk and just playing , or was she trying to cause you trouble...?

if the former maybe she could speak to your wife and allay her fears...?
you say 'short of physically pushing her' but that's what you did when your wife walked in...i know that's because you say she had started kissing you then...but your wife is probably wondering why you didn't prevent it happening in the first place...have you asked yourself the same question?
ok u mightn't want to cheat but were u interested to see if ex still had feelings for you?
are u posting to prove to your wife it was innocent?!!
just a theory :)
I wonder if Eddie will return.. so far he is just repeating previous posts on other threads!
You could have walked out of the kitchen.
He does admit to a duplicate post, sara (saves me posting the link) ;-)
I didn't mean that boxy.. he's posted on other threads, just repeating what has already been posted.

angling for an early avatar, I'd say ;o)
Question Author
Yes, I am sorry about the duplicate post, I posted it when I was on the wrong topic page.
You can't prove it, your wife should trust you or what is the point? Have you ever given her cause not to trust you? If not then she is being silly and only hurting herself.
If you look at this from your wife's perspective - she walks in and sees you kissing your ex, and then guiltily pushing her away when discovered, you can't really blame her for being shocked and upset.

Sit down with her, look her straight in the eyes, tell her what happened, and that you love her, and she knows that.

Women are experts at spotting a man who lies - she needs to be reassured.

Oh, and next time your ex is within touching distance, remove yourself from the room, quick!
its a bit simplistic and ignorant to just say, she should just trust him! ... and that shes at fault for not doing...

think about what she saw...if she did just ignore that an trust him, and she came on here with this story we'd all be saying she was mad for believing him...

id be furious and want proof too..but even then id still be dubious....other than cctv she will never be 100% sure
I cant imagine a situation where I could not stop a woman from kissing me, do you not have any arms, surely you could have just pushed her away or turned your head, sounds to me like you were up for it and just got caught!!

Face the consequences.
Is kissing cheating?

Sounds like your Mrs made a mountain out of a molehill here
Lol Joeluke you are just trying to wind us up arent you. Its not something that is worth breaking up a marriage over but if the shoe was on the other foot how would you feel. Eddie you need to learn how to grovell. Go all out and persuade her it wasnt you started, you were caught off guard what ever but you got a lot of work and grovelling to do.
I'd get in contact with the ex, tell her she's wrecked your marriage and would she have the common decency to explain herself to your wife.
I hate to contradict the advice of one of my esteemed collagues, but i think dragging your ex. into this situation is a seriously bad move.

This ex may have had exactly the result that has occured in mind when she made her move - mischief making, and to give her a platform to create more of the same will hardly be helpful.

You need to concentrate on healing your wife's hurt feelings - that's where your energy and time need to go - not turning this into a soap opera!
C'mon Eddie....married for 3 years, so "very much in love"....never dreamt i could be so happy".......etc.

O.K you were at party, your wife caught you either playing away or having an innocent don't have to prove or explain anything.

Staying at your mum's house because your wife won't speak to you?

This is a wind up.
"breaking up a marriage over but if the shoe was on the other foot how would you feel"
I'd feel the need to talk to my partner, and maybe even argue, but I'd not change from being in the same residence to being apart because of it.

Much of the advice here is valid. Obviously you can not prove anything and it is unreasonable to expect to be able to. I have no information on whether you have given your wife reason to be suspicious in the past, it may have a bearing on her excessive reaction. If you have not then I can only say that the ball is in her court. You can make contact and give the opportunity to talk it all through, but beyond that, if your wife is determined to break up the relationship that is in her hands. I take it that it was her idea you moved out to your mum's ?
I agree with sqad. I have noticed that wind-ups are usually about romantic/sexual problems and that they are very long winded, presumably from someone practising their typing skills and imagination. If I suspect this I have a look at their profile and think to myself - oh yes - here we are again, one question (or in this case two questions exactly the same) and just joined AB. Sometimes they have peculiar names which indicate what they are doing. Usually I read the posts, because some of them are interesting but don't contribute myself. I have been caught more than once and hate to think of someone sniggering at their cleverness in spoofing us again.

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