In a quandry

[ruthandsam]

Scenario: I was a psychiatric inpatient for a few weeks in July in a hospital out of the area. This was my choice as I also work for the NHS in mental health services and our local hospital was in the town where I work.

I've been back at work precisely 2 weeks after sick leave when I have been asked to go on a course for one day this week at, you guessed it, the same ward in the hospital where I was a patient. My first reaction was absolute horror as I am trying to put some sort of closure on my situation and try and forget about the time I spent there. However, on the other hand maybe this is just what I need to do this. I'm concerned that I'm going to bump into some patients I was friends with - which isn't a problem in itself but I will be a member of staff now.

Hubby is fuming with the situation as he says that he will have to deal with the backlash of my moods leading up to the course and afterwards.

Not sure where I stand at work if I cancelled as the boss is on leave until the day. I think I just want a listening ear here on ab as hubby in now unapproachable and some colleagues at work funnily are not particularly understanding. My emotions are all over the place now. What would you do?

Many thanks for 'listening'!

[didoatwork]

I think only you can make the decision after a lot of careful thought. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[bednobs]

personallly i would not go

[wolf63]

I would try and swap wards so that you are not put in an uncomfortable position.

Your health comes first and in mental health term July isn't that far back. I know that my mental health is fragile for quite some time after an acute crisis phase.

There has to be somebody else who can change the course.

Is the course essential for your work? Will you have much involvement with the patients?

[Chinajan]

Husband is 'fuming' and 'unapproachable'. Therein lies the source of your difficulty I think. If these situations do make you moody or difficult to live with it will be hard for him, but I think more understanding on both sides is what's required. Can you not sit down like two mature people and discuss how best to get through this? You could suggest you will make a big effort not to bring work home, he could agree to be more understanding and supportive.

[ruthandsam]

Hmmm - I feel like that as well bednobs. I'm weary of 'fighting' my gut feelings.

[sherrardk]

I wouldn't go, you don't want to set yourself back when you are making poistive progress. Surely there is someone you can speak to at work in your boss' absence (do they know the nature of your sick leave?).

[weecalf]

Go because it will always be an issue with you if you dont ,You maybe plesantly suprised by what happens dont try to figue out what will happen to much because things never happen as you imagine .

[bednobs]

in the event of not being able to find someone to talk to before boss comes back, just either don't go, or pull a sickie

[puddle-duck]

Who is in charge whilst your boss is away ? Can't you speak with them & explain the situation.

[emmie]

This would be too awkward, i wouldn't do it.

[rowanwitch]

It may also raise confidentiality issues regarding the patients on that ward as you will have shared personal information with them and the staff... I think you could decline on ethical rather than health grounds which would go down better on your record.

[NOX]

I agree with Rowan that I would decline on ethical grounds. If I were also an inpatient who had become friends with you during your stay and then saw you pop up a few weeks later as a staff member I would find that very upsetting and very unsettling, which I think is unfair to the other paitients.
To echo also what someone else said- lose the husband- if he can't understand your mental health issues and be sympathetic then he'll be a good part for the problem and you're best off without anyone negative and unhelpful dragging you down.

[ummmm]

Don't go.

You can't go.

You cannot be in charge of people who were your equals a few months ago.

Although your stay probably makes your understanding much better....there's a certain line that can't be crossed.

[debean]

I have been in a similar situation to yours,as an experienced M/H worker with a 'history' and it really depends on how well your recovery is progressing. I would be cautious of trying to "put the episode behind you" as an understanding of your symptoms will be useful in the future.
It can be immensely empowering for patients to know you have been unwell and recovered.. it breaks down the stigma that we all can experience. But this has to be done at a pace that is comfortable for you, and it may be too soon to revisit the unit.. Use your experience in a positive way and acknowledge that mental illness can affect anyone!
As for your colleagues .. log any negative comments or malpractice.. M/H descrimination is rife in M/H services, but you are covered by the disability discrimination act!
You may benefit from counselling.. your employers may provide this, or find a good external counsellor (possibly for your husband too).
Lastly, I would suggest that you learn as much as you can about the recovery process; Mary Ellen Copeland's Wellness Recovery Action plan(WRAP) could be a good starting point.
Hope this helps..

[boxtops]

Ruth, your Trust will have a training department or similar, who will presumably have arranged for this course/funding for it. Contact them and explain your position in confidence, and ask if the location can be changed.
However - you say "this week" so if you mean tomorrow or Friday, that is probably too short notice now..... how long have you known about this? speak to the training department, speak to the L&D manager in your boss's absence and explain what's happened and how awkward it would be for you to be in that location. If you'd asked me, I would understand and do what i could to facilitate a change.

Finger crossed - let us know how you get on.

[ruthandsam]

Thank you so much everyone - I really do appreciate all your comments and advice.

I've emailed my boss with details of the situation and I'm awaiting his reply. I didn't even look at the venue for the course until yesterday, however, there will be 4 of us attending the course including my boss. Most bizarre as he also came to visit me when I was a inpatient at the hosp.

I look forward to his response and then will make my decision when I know my options.

Thanks again!