Advice needed before I go round the bend from sleep deprivation!!!

[lylabellablueyes]

My 3 week old is getting up every 2 hours and drinking 4 and 5 ounce bottles.

She weighed 8.1 at birth so she wasn't too big. I'm so tired it's driving me mad. She won't sleep in her Moses basket or cot either. I'm not expecting her to sleep through, as she's so young, but this is just ridiculous if you ask me.

Any tips?

I've tried hungry baby milk, but this just gave her stomach ache.

I know it's feed on demand, but this is just so tiring. She won't settle in her swing either. She's only quiet when driving or when someone is holding her.

I have a 2 year old too, so this is really hard. :/(

I

[Andyvon]

My niece is 4 years old now but my brother and his wife had this when she was born. My niece woke for feeding every two hours throughout the night. They took it in turns to get up every other night so they each got a good night's sleep every other night.

If you've had a baby before you must have been there before Lyla and know more than me. Surely your husband helps you in the same way my brother and sister-in-law fed their daughter. That way you will get a good sleep every other night.

[Mosaic]

You need support from family and friends - can someone take your toddler for a few hours of the day at least? Nothing else matters other than your sleep, and the newborn's care. Can anyone literally hold the baby while you get some kip?
I had similar issues with my babies - very helpful OH used to take them for long pushchair / double buggy outings while I slept. I had no family nearby so when he was at work, my only option was to take the older one to childminder's while I coped - just - with the younger one.
Use the telly to buy time from the toddler - anything - just get through this time which WILL pass. Do not do housework. Do not do anything that requires effort, thought or planning - just be a mum machine for a while.
Also, I found a sling very helpful - kept the babe quiet because it was 'held' but meant I could potter about if need be. I believe it is normal for babies not to want to be put down, but it is very trying for parents.

[lylabellablueyes]

My partner is fab but he works away and he's been on nights all week :-(

My mum helps too in the day so I am lucky that i have that help. It's just during the night it's tough :-(

[grange]

I do sympathise! An 8lb full term baby should be sleeping longer than 2 hours between feeds. Have you tried swaddling her following feeding and winding ? if not its worth a try. Use a large soft sheet and make sure her arms are wrapped in the swaddle. Obviously don't wrap her too tightly------ just tight enough so she can't get her arms free! You could also try a loudly ticking clock or play soothing music as she drifts off to sleep. If you can get her to sleep on her own in her own bed it will certainly help you in the long run, they can get very used to sleeping in your arms and then you'll be stuck with it! Do hope this helps, keep us posted. Good luck with it all!!

[DTCwordfan]

as above and patting her on her bottom, the rhythm helps them drop off.......and they know that you are there.

[piggynose]

serious suggestion, not taking the pi55. Would whisky licked from the thumb work?

[grange]

Another thought-------- I have a long-held theory that some babies have such a strong sucking instinct that feeding alone doesn't give them enough sucking. Perhaps you could try a dummy for sleep time once fed and winded and try swaddling as well. I have found in the past that once a baby gets to 3months this very strong sucking instinct wanes a little and they tend to spit the dummy out! Worth a try anyway!!

[lylabellablueyes]

Thank you for the replies, but I have tried all the above. Apart from the whiskey lol

I swaddled, but midwife told me off. Said it promotes cot death etc and stops them developing past one month old. :-$

Tried dummy and she just spits it out!!

I purchased 'White Noise' app for my iPhone and it just kept her awake, rather than asleep.

I pat her bum and walk around and she fights sleep. Took me 2 hours last night. Nothing is working.

I ask my health visitor and get the usual 'give it time'. I know this, but it's doesn't help me in the meantime.

My older daughter was so much easier !!

[lylabellablueyes]

I wouldn't mind doing it for 2 hours If I knew she would sleep longer. Knowing I have to do it all again 2 hours later is quite depressing. When she has a bottle during the night, she's wide awake. So I do it all through the night too!

[grange]

Oh dear! I can't think what else to suggest except just leaving her to get onwith it! As long as you are sure she's fed, winded, clean and dry it won't do her any harm ot cry for 5-10 minutes. She might just get fed-up then and go to sleep. You could try changing her teat to a slower one so that she has to work harder to finish her feeds.

[Mosaic]

For god's sake no whisky!! Promise you won't!!
You need your mum to stay and help at night for a couple of days. It's what mum's are for.
As long as you are doing nothing - no driving, operating machinery etc that requires attention - try to roll with the lack of sleep. Even if you don't get dressed in the morning, so what? Eat, sleep, feed baby, cuddle baby, start all over again - it cannot last many more weeks. Been there, felt as deperate as you do, and trust me it passes. There are no really proven 'averages' that say what a baby should do. I never got a full nights sleep till they started school.
The only important markers are if your baby looks at faces, if s/he starts to smile after a month- 6 weeks, if crying is not constant monotone, and I'm sure if anything indicated problems your HV would be onto it. You're a tired mum with a toddler and a baby, if your mum can just let you get a couple of extra hours sleep you can cope with anything. Hugs.

[chelle7272]

I do sympathise my son was like that for months, you do seem to be doing everything you can. As Mosaic says could you ask your mum to stay over a couple of times so you can catch up on some sleep?

[firewatch]

i was told by the hospital when mi was 5 weeks old to swaddle her and they showed me how. She was a sod for not sleeping through, and was up EVERY 2 hours, we found propping her on her side with loads of blankets tucked round her to stop her rolling helped along with a wheatie heat pack as she suffered with mild colic. perservere with the dummy and if you have to hold it there whilst she drops off, madam needed it as she was a very sucky baby. Also get a bedtime routine of the three bs going and it helped us although we didnt start till she was a little older. Dont try the whiskey it burns there gums.
My hubby was worse then useless when she was up at night so it fell to me and i triead everything. Do you have a rocking chair? try soothing her in there and then gently putting her in her mosesxx

[grange]

If you're going to swaddle her and put her on her side with a rolled up blanket along her back, make sure that she's lying on her right side----- stomach empties better that way. I agree with Firewatch to try and keep going with the dummy. if you thread a muslin nappy through the ring bit she might find it easier to keep it in!

[firewatch]

or you can get wubba nub toys with special small baby dummies attached and they are weighted so baby cant loose them to easily lol Amazon.co.uk User Recommendation Mi had the passifier part but we didnt discover these till she was too old for it :(

[tigwig]

I think its worth trying a few different brands of milk (not necessarily hungry baby ones) and see if any make a difference. Also have you tried different types of dummys? Both my kids would only have cherry teats which were big in their tiny mouths at that age. I also think swaddling is ok especially if baby is in your room near you as some babies do like it and feel a lot more secure. Or you can buy these things that are the equivalent of having rolled up blankets at the side of them so they kind of stay nuggly and dont look lost in a big cot. The baby catalogue used to sell them and kiddicare probably do. Mine hated it though lol. Like someone else said, a sling for through the day is great, I have a Baby Bjorn one and its very comfy. It will get easier I promise. Try and catch up through the day and accept any help thats offered so you can do this.

[albaqwerty]

I'm going to be shot down but maybe she is thirsty rather than hungry?

I feel for you xx

[Smowball]

My last child didnt sleep throught the night till he way five years old - if he had been the first.....!! seriously I really feel for you.

[Selfridge81]

I can't imagine being in ur shoes, so i know its hard but do remember it won't be like that forever! At least ur not on ur own. Do u only put her in mose basket/cot, keep her in dark room and silent in night only? Hope this helps.

[cathfromsaron]

i'm assuming after she has a feed she is contented and alert, and there are no probs with constipation/runny nappies etc?

have you tried a herbal juice between feeds just in case she is thirsty?

we gave my grandson cooled fruity tea bag infusions off a spoon!