Is it normal for people to see £ notes when somebody dies.

[MartinBev58]

My father passed away suddenly on the 7th December and I have received sympathy cards from friends and closer members of the family. I am the sole beneficiary of his will.
To date I have also received 7 phone calls from people he used to go to a club with who think there are people there who are far more worthy of receiving the proceeds of the estate than me.
I have also received 2 calls from very distant relatives who think they should have some of the money.
The amounts people have sugested total about double the amount of my father's estate.

[DTCwordfan]

tell them to "fo" and as to the clubs, put them to the bottom of the list or "donate" £1 as an insult.

[daffy654]

What a greedy bunch of friends your father seems to have had. Where on earth have the got the idea that he was leaving them anything? As for the distant relatives... tell them to jog on!

[Davethedog]

I would suggest that you say to any you may like "That the estate wasn't as large as they seem to think and by the time ecpenses ete, etc"

I would tell the rest to fornicate elsewhere

[DTCwordfan]

and under the guise "The estate was not what you think it was, however, he did want a donation made. Here you are."

It's the equivalent of leaving a 5p tip for pushy waiting staff with lousy service and food and a far better "impact" than just walking out.

[craft1948]

Watching 'old friends' and 'distant relatives' come out of the woodwork at the last Mr Craft's funeral was like watching buzzards circling..........they went away empty.

[rowanwitch]

Sorry for your loss... sadly the sniff of easy money brings out the worst in some people and it may be that your father unwittingly maybe have the impression theat some individuals might expect a little windfall if he died,, as for the 'double the amounts' none of their business. Tell them politely it is not a subject for discussion and ignore then thereafter

[andy-hughes]

Firstly, I am sorry for your loss.

Secondly, there is nothing in the world quite like money for bringing out the worst in people.

The distribution of your father's estate is a matter for him - and for you as his surviving relative - for anyone else, they can be told, with degrees of politeness based on how much you mind upsewtting them -to mind their own!

People's perception of their worth to a friend or relative is often very different to reality - and in the case of people who think it appropriate to discuss money with you so soon after your bereavement - it is probably several galaxies distance from what your dad thought of them.

If anyone else calls, simply hang up on them - they'll soon get the message.

Hope you cope through Christmas.

[cazzz1975]

I would also remind them how rude they are fighting over his money when he has only so recently passed.

[andy-hughes]

When i started writing my response, there were no responses posted on the thread - but it looks like we are all in agreement here.

[Mamyalynne]

You have my condolences too for the loss of your father, the last thing anyone needs at this time is the mere mention of money.

A simple response is 'The estate is being distributed exactly as my Dad wished, surely you would all want his wishes honoured'.

[MartinBev58]

I have just had another phone call. Somebody else is worthy of another £50,000.

[factor-fiction]

My sympathies. Yes, this can happen but I've never experienced anything as blatant or bad as you are now.
I'm puzzled as to how they all know you are the benficiary. A few question:
-Does the matter have to go through probate?
- Who is the executor?
Could you just tell them that the executor will be in touch in due course (maybe 6 months) if they are named.

Or say that if they were such good friends do they want to chip in by organising and paying for the funeral?

[MartinBev58]

Hi Factor30.

I am the executor and sole beneficiary.
Being the sole living son and also the facy we lived in the same house I think the son would be the beneficiary in 99% of these type of cases.
I forgot to mention that most of the value of my fathers estate is in his half of the house which I am now living in.
The phone is going again. I had better answer it.

[lcg]

yes...is normal. please tell them all to sod off...and enjoy it while you're doing it - they really are not worth your time or common courtesy. obviously your dad felt they weren't worthy, or he would have left his bits and bobs to everyone else. it's called life! x

[DrFilth]

strange how when someone is ill people live to far away to help , when the person dies can we pop round to have a few keepsakes we are only live up the road.

[emmie]

ignore them, they are nothing but gold diggers and idiots.

[maggiebee]

Sorry to hear of your loss. I would ignore the lot of them - sound like a bunch of greedy gold diggers to me. If your father had wanted them to get anything he would have stated it in his will. You do not have to explain anything, it's none of their business.

[Nosha123]

I am shocked and saddened for you - that after losing your father you are having to endure this kind of tasteless conversation with callers...
Do they expect you to sell the house to make yourself homeless and then give these 'friends' money?
Tell them its family business his will states his exact wishes and the family solicitor will carry out those wishes.. then when they get nothing they will know they obviously werent that dear to him!
Also - I would tell the next caller they are not the only ones to think that - and so many people have called you saying they are worthy of his estate.. and that you are now wondering how on earth you are going to pay them all what they believe they should all have!!!
How tasteless!

[boxtops]

If I were you, Martin, I would stop answering the phone. Change your mobile number so only genuine people can get through to you. Just ignore all the rest. It's just greed.

[AMYSULLIVAN]

Hi Boxtops / Martin

I am sorry to hear about Martin's loss.
I think Martin should be careful about changing his phone number as I think this will be a short term problem and it is surprising how many genuine people will need to contact you after.
I lived with my father and inherited the house. I inherited my mother's share.
A lady who he had befriended was very annoyed he had not left the house to her.
I am widowed and had paid for various improvements / repairs to the house from the proceeds of the house I owned with my husband. She had her own house.
A few people thought she should have had the house and nobody gave any thought to the fact I was 61 at the time and retired.
I do have a state and occupational pension and can keep the house running but I could not pay a mortgage as well.

Amy