Friends

[orange-ade]

How many of you have actually managed to keep in contact with your school friends? I have been through quite a lot since leaving school (even though it wasn't very long ago!) and I feel very different towards the two main friends I left school with. I know you are not supposed to throw people away, and that is a horrible thought, but I feel like we are very different people now and we will probably just grow apart. But one of those people in particular feels so clingy towards me that the more she tries to force our friendship the furthur it forces me away. Obviously I don't want to be friendless...its just a difficult situation...I just don't miss them if I'm honest, and surely that means something?? Sorry if this seems a little heartless! Also sorry if this is in the wrong topic! x.

[coccinelle]

I am in contact with none of my school friends nor work mates. I moved on and felt I know longer had anything in common. This is what happens. I do however treasure a lasting friendship with a penfriend and we still keep in contact though now it's mainly by e-mail. You make and break along life's path...

[coccinelle]

oh, my goodness: no longer....

[woofgang]

I am not in contact with any of my school friends, we just drifted apart, same with all but one of my college friends, we dont see each other but still write. Its not a big deal either way.

[ummmm]

I'm in contact with loads.

[pusskin]

I am in full contact with 2 of my mates from school. (twins)
I treasure our friendship

[vulcan]

A friend of mine received an invitation to her college 50 year reunion and because she hadn't been in contact with any one in all that time, wasn't sure about going. Eventually she did go and was very happy with the outcome. She renewed lots of friendships but most surprising of all, a person that bullied her at college has become a new friend.

[Arksided]

Only one, we went to the same Primary, Middle and Grammar schools together and years later after leaving school ended up working for the same company since his move to Scotland (not exactly far side of the Moon) ten years ago we keep in touch via Face-book.

[jamesnan]

I am still friends with 2 of the girls I was at junior school with, in fact went on holiday with one last year, and also, I am still pen-friends with a French girls who I met on a school exchange visit. I left school in 1960.

[rockyracoon]

I'm only in proper contact with 1 school friend and I actually knew her before primary school, all the way through school I knew that the friends I had there were never going to be life long friends. People grow up, change, have lives that moves in different directions so friendships can lapse, if a relationship was worth it, you'd make the effort.

[Kassee]

I am still friendly with a group of girls (about 5 or 6) who were in the same class as me at senior school, one went to the same infant/junior school too. I am sixty years old, in fact we all hit 60 years this year. Some I keep in contact with more than others, some years pass by and I might only see them once, usually phone more often. We dont live near each other, but when we get together we have a real good chat, and seem to be closer just because we have known each other so long. We talk and laugh about school, we know each others parents, one friend came to my dad's funeral, and I went to her mother's funeral and her daughter's wedding.

I also keep in touch with two friends that I went to college with, alto one of them died in her late 40s. And one friend that I worked with many years ago.

I have other friends that I have made along the way, but I think that the shared past experiences over so many years with my school friends, the birth of our children, our marriages, our divorces (in some cases) retirement, give us a very strong friendship bond. I find we can pick up the friendship just where we left off, even though months may have gone by in between.

Oddly enough none of my school friends lived near me, either today, or when we were at school together. But we still manage to get together, and four of them, two husbands and one with her daughter and two grandchildren all turned up at my "surprise" 60th party recently.

[cathfromsaron]

i seem to have gained a few and mislaid a few each decade, but never worry about it!

[Kiki-frog]

I'm in my 50s and have Christmas card/birthday card contact with two friends from school. Haven't seen them for donkeys years though. I think it's natural to drift apart as you grow older and you go down different paths.

Reading between the lines, though, is the issue more about the one particular friend who seems clingy? Sounds to me that you're ready to move on and she isn't (just guessing that it's a she). She's not your responsibility, though, is she? You're not heartless at wanting to move on, just realistic and probably a bit more mature than this person. Don't feel guilty about drifting apart - it's a natural part of growing older.

[maggiebee]

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are..
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson,
Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant

[China Doll]

One mate from my actual secondary school, we've known each other 16 years now, and two other teenage friends who I've know 17/18 years. Those three are probably my closest friends. I've a fair few others but it is always those three I default to when everything goes to hell and also when I have good news to share. I had loads of friends at primary school, secondary school (we had a geek group :c), at college and at uni.... you keep the ones you want and don't bother with the rest, just how life goes.

[Brinjal]

Imoved worlds away from where I went to school solost contact with all but one of my school friends. Even then we don't keep in touch but when I am back home visiting every few years I give her a ring and we just pick up where we left off. On the other hand there were two girls I went to school with and I flatted with for a few years. I would ring them and get in touch when I was in town but found we no longer had anything in common snow I don't bother. So I think it is natural that we all change and move in different directions. I probably wouldn't tell someone that I no longer wanted to be friends with the. But would find excuses toput off someone who was being too clingy

[tiggerblue10]

I've know my school friend since we were 5/6. We were best mates up until 20 years ago when she moved to Clapham and got in with the wrong crowd. I'm still in touch with her but only once or twice a year. We still send each other Xmas cards.

My other best friend who I met at college when I was 16 is no longer a friend. we fell out last year and haven't spoken since. Don't want to either.

[MartinBev58]

Hi orange-ade

I am still in contact with 3 of my school friends but we are in different parts of the country. We phoned each other about once every 3 months.
Sadly 2 of them are now widowed like me and we are now meeting up once a year for a 3 or 4 day break in a hotel.
I certainly kept in contact with a lot of the teachers. I married the headmistress's daughter.
Myself and my late wife were having to take my mother in law to the funerals of ex teachers from her school.
Sadly my mother in law passed away just over 4 years ago.
Now I attend the funerals of teachers who were at the school when I was there. As I am now 61 I do not think there will be many still alive.

Martin

[Kassee]

In times of troubles you find out who your real friends are. I went through a very bad patch about 20 years ago, and it lasted for about six years, in this time, my friendships had a real good shake up. My oldest friends were certainly my dearest friends, but other friendships I had made along the way - came very quickly to an end (certainly they were fair weather friends). And other people who were just acquaintences at the time became friends (a friend in need is a friend in deed). If I hadn't had all those problems I may never have known who my true friends were.

[craft1948]

I met up with an old school friend (from the 60's) at her instigation via Friends Reunited, a few months ago...................she turned out to be a nutter.