Kids!!

[Smowball]

My daughter rents a house with her bf - they got into big money problems when she had her work hours cut in half. She was in such a state that we worked out what she would need to get them back on their feet and GAVE, not lent, them £1000. All very happ and grateful.She then gets new job 2 wks later. She has just this sec txt me to say they are in deep financial doo doo and cant afford to stay in the house! Me being slightly stunned have tt back to say what about the money we gave them?? Got reply saying they would have just been in an even worse state and she doesnt know what to do! There is no way I giving her anymore money and am pretty angry tbh, but I just know she is waiting for a txt back offering more help.She is 23 btw. ( ps i know they could go any live with his parents to save up as they have a massive house, but they dont want to do that)

[Kiki-frog]

//i know they could go any live with his parents to save up as they have a massive house, but they dont want to do that//

LOL, not your problem, then!

[Smowball]

We only gave them the money 2 months ago! Out of our own savings.I know what she will say - she has a cat and has just got another kitten 2 wks ago and that will be her excuse. But like you say not my prob. Just really cross as the £1000 clearly didnt go on clearing their bills did it.

[Gavmacp]

Basically I leant someone money to help them over a bad time. Later found out they were still in the same situation.
I think helping people financially does not help as they need to take responsibility for their own actions.

[EvianBaby]

Don't give her any more. She's an adult.

Maybe you could ask her why she decided to take on another 2 pets when she can't afford her life already though.

[Smowball]

They are running 2 cars as no public transport where they live. He works on building sites so no work with this constant rain. i do feel really bad for them but like you all say, they would have to do something if I wasnt there wouldnt they.

[Smowball]

2shortplanks - rant away!
They all just know I'm a soft touch. Well I really am not giving her any money this time - have just txt and told her so! Told her she will have to live with his parents. Strangely she hasn't replied lol.

[B00]

Buy some cat food though!

[Ric.ror]

Oh dont get me started
I would not let my youngest son in my house yesterday as I was so angry with him - his brother is not much better either

Then I heard Doreen Lawrence on Desert Island Disc and that put thinkgs back into perspective

[Ratty2E]

I'm afraid I'd just say 'Oh dear well you'll have to look at somewhere cheaper to live then' They are both adults and they need to learn to manage their money and live within their means. I'm afraid they obviously think they can plead poverty and you will bail them out again. If they have got into trouble again this quickly them I would say they were'nt straight with you about the amount of debt they had or they have made no attempt to tighten their belts. Taking on new pets is just irresponsible and selfish.

[Smowball]

I can honestly say that from the day I left home at 17 I never asked my parents for a penny.
a.because I didnt want to and b. because they wouldnt have lent it!

I cleaned toilets at weekends after working all week, I went without food some days, not that anybody knew that! I think the main prob is that my mum, bless her, died 3 years ago aged just 59, and left me quite a bit of money, which they all know. but It is all tied up, I cant touch it.

[EvianBaby]

My sister once lent me money to get me out of a big hole. Without her help I would have been totally screwed. (at the time I called her in desperation I had three bailiffs standing outside threatening to take my car). I was so grateful for her help that I would never in a million years think of pissing it up the wall and asking her for more.

In the same vain I have also lent other people money (not the amounts you are talking about) knowing I wouldn't get a penny back and that it would be spent on things other than the intended but it's hard to say no sometimes.

I did get a text from a sister the other day asking to borrow some money til the end of the week. Knowing that they just spent hundreds of punds on some ridiculous presents for their four year olds birthday and that they cash she wanted was probably just for fags I did tell her no. I still feel guilty.

[missprim]

Smow if you are really worried about them why don't you buy them food vouchers? I have lent my kids money before and they usually squander it and I hardly ever get it back.Next time they say they have no money for food, that's what I will do.

[Smowball]

Thats just it, nobody helped me - and even though the money mu mum has lef m seems a lot, neither of us has a pension yet and we ar both self employed so if we stopped working tomorrow then it probably wouldnt last 4 years.

They all have the latest ifones, internet etc, cars each...... grrrrrr...

[Smowball]

Guess its the old tough love hey!