Is going celibate right?

[MsAngel2012]

I recently decided to go celibate until I find the right the guy. I'll admit I've slept with a few too many guys but I was only chasing love and affection and thought I could only get that through sex. I realised what I was doing to myself and that it was very un healthly I come from an emotional abusive household which affected the relationships I've had. I finally realised what I was doing to myself having sex with these guy made me feel wanted I eventually got counselling which made me realise why I did it and that what I did wasn't my fault I didn't know any better I had no idea about relationships . I had to learn a lesson the hard way which as made me a lot wiser. I decided to go celibate recently I want sex to feel much more special and bonding with someone but I don't know if its the right thing to do.

[ummmm]

Probably a good idea if the sex you were having was making you feel bad about yourself.

[chaptazbru]

I was celibate for a time once - quite happy I was with it too .... !

[tonyav]

I wouldn't be.

[cazzz1975]

yes, it will change how you "chase love and affection" which after your experiences could be a good thing!

[murraymints]

Tony...where were you at confession time ????...:(

[Mick-Talbot]

Probably better to chase love and affection, rather than sex and infection.

[excelsior-1]

very good M-T.

a clever use of vocabulary.

[tonyav]

In bed minty, on nights this week.

[mccfluff]

if you are making bad choices that make you unhappy, then yes celibacy is probably the way to go.

take some time to be happy within yourself before looking for a relationship

[murraymints]

who's bed Tone ?..if it is that Lady J or Albs or Gness..I will be very very cross with you !!!

[DTCwordfan]

It's not mine, I can assure you.....

[tonyav]

LOL, hadn't got the energy at 6am this morning, minty.

[ummmm]

Errrr....this isn't CB so these answers won't make sense to MsAngel.

[Psybbo]

Tone don't lie

[andy-hughes]

It's interesting that you seem to divide your life into its previous period - unsuitable siex frequently, and it's porposed future stage - no sex at all.

might it not be better to simply consider sex as part of a fulfilling relationship?

That way, sex will occur only when it feels right for both partners, and you will be having sex for better reasons - as an expression of feeling, rather than looking for some nebulous and elusive personal vindication.

For that reason, I would be wary of saying to yourself - much less anyone else that tyou are celebate - which infers a lifestyle choice that is not for discussion.

I think if you make a decision that sex in a relationship will occur if and opnly when you decide that it is right for you - then that will lead to a more mature, safe, and happy way to be in any relationships - sexual and non-sexual - in the future.

Simply deciding to abstain from sex because it is not been a good experience for you is closing the door on a valuable part of life and love - and with some care and attention, you can find both - and the sex - in a proper partnership.

Hope you find a solution that works for you.

[DTCwordfan]

It should really be on a CB thread - shall I raise one?

[tonyav]

Yeah, good idea, DT.

[ummmm]

I presumed Angel meant temporary celibacy. Establish a relationship before having sex instead of having sex hoping for a relationship.

[MsAngel2012]

I did mean going celibate until meeting the right guy and establishing a relationship just wanted some good opinions on it.

[ummmm]

I think it's a good idea.