Parent's evening

[B00]

Didn't post this last night as I was still annoyed about it. I still am, but wanted some 'outsiders' views- if you don't mind :-)

We went to Mini Boo's parents evening last night. And she's doing well in both literacy and numeracy (within and slightly above the national average), and behaving well in class, but her teacher mentioned a characteristic of Mini Boo's which she seemed keen to stamp out of her, and I was deeply unhappy about her even bringing it up.

When Mini Boo wants something, she's a habit of putting on a slightly babyish voice and simpering a bit I guess. I'm assuming in her head she thinks this affectation will somehow win whoever she's asking over to her way of thinking.

Her teacher claimed that now she's older, this really should stop. Now bearing in mind Mini Boo's only 7 I thought this ridiculous. I pointed out that I thought it was a tiny flaw (is it really?) that wasn't even worth her bringing up. Yes if MB was aggressive, or rude and cheeky then yes by all means tackle it.

I then asked how she thought we'd go about it? To which she'd no answer but said she's like to try and get MB to request things more grown up like. I told her I was not happy her doing this as a) i believe its something MB 'does' and eventually grow out of anyway b) I'd hate for MB to think she daren't ask for anything in class for fear of getting pounced on.

Shes assured me that she will not bring it up with MB, so im not worried on that score, im just fuming that i think she sees it as a flaw that needs to be stamped out of a 7 year old.

This teacher is a new one to the school, and one Mr Boo says is trying to make her make and prove a point (eh?). He by the way didn't say a word throughout this exchange and he was even more furious than I was so kept quiet for fear of just walking out in a rage.

Any thoughts? Am I being a bit precious over my own child here?

[rockyracoon]

Eff, I'm fuming for you here. She'll grow out of that trait when she realises it doesn't work anymore, a learning curve. What the teacher really means is, it irritates her. Tell her to bore off.

[B00]

yes exactly RR!

That's how I feels.

That's something deeply hurtful when someone, an adult, says there's a part of your child they don't like.

It really is a 'nothing' issue isn't it? I'm not being over sensitive am I?

[ummmm]

You're being a bit precious.

I would stamp it out. You might think she'll grow out of it but at what age?

Mine have done it...I'd just say 'ask me in your normal voice and I will respond'

Do you actually think it's cute? It's not cute...

[B00]

She's only 7 ummmm. And yes, sometimes I do say "ask properly". I was just stunned that a teacher thought it was even worth bringing up to be honest.

[factor-fiction]

The teacher is 'in loco parentis' while the child is at school and it is inevitable that teachers who care will want to change things like this as well as just teach reading and writing etc.
As an outsider it doesn't seem a big issue to me, B00, but looking back to when mine were at school we were possibly precious too about our children as they are so special to us so I may have been uncomfortable too. I am sure I wouldn't have been furious though, but we are all different.
On the positive side: the teacher cares about developing all aspects of mini B00, the teacher now knows your views and may reconsider her approach; and you are aware of this issue and can decide yourself whether it's something you want to tackle or ignore at home or whether you should discuss it with your child

[ummmm]

If she's the only child in the class that does it, I'd point it out.

imo - baby behaviour should stamped out from the day they start school. Slowly mind.

[factor-fiction]

>says there's a part of your child they don't like.

A teacher should never say that they don't like the child or part of the child- she would say it's the behaviour (in the wider sense) that she's trying to address

[ummmm]

Were you like this with big B00?

Not knocking here as it's been pointed out to me on many occasions that I'm different with my youngest. I deny it, but it's true...

[EvianBaby]

I'm not sure that's really down to the teacher to tell you but I do agree with her. Having spent a bit too much time with my 7 year old niece recently it drove me absolutely crazy when asked for things with a stupid baby voice.

I actually stopped acknowledging her until she spoke to me properly. It's really annoying.

[mumsie_wumsie]

My 5 year old grand daughter does this too, not at school, just at home. And we find it totally annoying and always tell her to speak in her 'proper'voice. I suppose in a class of young children at school, it can be some what annoying. Perhaps she thinks other kids will start copying her.

[factor-fiction]

A final thought. The teacher has the child's interests at heart, I'm sure, and would address this in subtle ways without humiliating MiniB00. I feel you have to trust the teacher to be professional and caring as you aren't there.
I'd give it a month and then pop in to ask the teacher how it's going.

[B00]

Perhaps I was a bit over sensitive then? I dunno, at the time I just saw it as something about my child she didn't like and immediately went defensive.

She won't be trying to stop it Factor as she claimed she wouldn't address it seeing as I was so unhappy about it.

Yes I admit, I do find it irritating sometimes when she does it at home, but I imagine as any parent would, you immediately take offense when anyone else does, lol.

I will attempt to put a stop to this at home though.

Thanks for your thoughts guys- always nice to hear "the other side" :-)

[Bluestone]

I think it's a bit petty, to be honest. Sure, baby behaviour should be stamped out, but she's only 7! What its done, is put a negative spin on an otherwise good parents evening. It's not affecting her work, or how she's progressing in school - so why make it such a big deal. You say you tell her to "ask properly" at home, so I'm sure that'll stick and she'll soon grow out of it. I certainly don't think it needs to be pointed out in a class full of other children.
I've got mine tonight (parents evening) and am expecting a mixed bag. Probably not a good time for me to mention the fact I still can't get little'uns DUMMY out of her gob, at bedtime! :-/

[Smowball]

Interesting. I actually can see both sides but tend to veer towards ummm and EB. My hubbys daughter used to do it when she visited here. He thought it was very cute, but when she was still doing it at aged 10 it was just damn annoying and she looked really silly.

[Mosaic]

This is an interesting dilemma. It's kind of logical, grown-up and sensible to drop the fledgling-pestering posture as you turn 5.
However - be honest - how many grown women get much of what they want by doing pretty much that to powerful men - little-girl actions, fluttering eyelashes, 'needing help' etc.
Is it of note that it seems to be adult women who are irritated by the description of mini's behavioural trait?
I wonder if there is a male teacher in the school, and if he is also irritated by it.
Just thinking around why this behaviour seems to be polarising people.

[B00]

Aww now see, just when I start to think maybe i was being a bit OTT at being all offended, along comes someone (Bluestone) who totally sees (along with RR) my original point of view, and im right back where I was, lol.

Good luck with your parents evening Blue- how old is your little one?

[Bluestone]

She's nearly five - so still a baby in my eyes :-)
Yep, totally see your point of view on this one. It's nothing short of nit picking - and the teacher being a jobsworth. She'll grow out of it. As sqad would say - no big deal :-)

[EvianBaby]

But if you don't stomp it out then she'll think it's ok to talk like that all the time and then it runs the risk of just becoming a permanent whiner. Take it from one who was one :)

[EDDIE51]

If this 'babyish' behaviour continues the others kids will start to pick on her by mimicking her . I agree with the teacher in pointing it out, you should try to discourage it.

[Brinjal]

I have a friend who is 58 and still does it. It's. Hiieeee. Can I ask you something I'm a simpering voice. Yuk annoying and unattractive. I usually snap out just tell me what you want and I will see if I can help you.