Bad Parent :(

[tiggerblue10]

It's been an extremely busy couple of weeks with work and very late finishes and I've become quite ratty with it. When we get back home from the school run I'm back working again and when little Tigs asks me something or wants me to do something I end up raising my voice and telling him to wait. Last night I didn't finish until nearly 8pm and told him to have a pot noodle as there was very little in the fridge and I hadn't defrosted anything from the night before. I got a shopping delivery this evening so there's plenty of decent food for him to eat tomorrow.

Unfortunately, this work I'm doing will go on until next week and I haven't been able to take any time off to finish my Christmas shopping. I'm exhausted and I feel like I'm taking my frustration out on little Tigs. And I'm still upset about my sofa!

My colleagues are also in similar positions but the ones with younger children have got partners to deal with them. I'm on my own and feel quite overwhelmed. I don't need this just before Christmas.

Anyway, rant over and I know there are people in far worse situations than me.

Who do you take your frustrations out on?

[bednobs]

I honestly don't know how single parents cope.

[anneasquith]

I think they cope because they have no option. Stop feeling guilty. You are doing your best under the circumstances.

[LadyCG]

Tiggs, I've been in the same position as you. I have a full-time job and also work evenings and weekends on top. I have no choice. OH has a full-time job, is doing all the renovations on the house plus all the cleaning, laundry, etc, and now he is doing overtime himself (we have no choice). There are times when we can't stop and play with him and so he will sit beside me at the table on his tablet (at least he's doing puzzles and mental agility tasks). I got criticised for that on here by those who would pat their friends on the back for the very same thing...

At least OH and I try to juggle things between us. You are single so your situation is worse than ours. You are doing your best to raise your son and provide for him.

Why not spend 5 minutes tomorrow having a chat to him and apologise and explain that for the next week or so you will have to concentrate on some really important stuff but you will make it up to him at the soonest opportunity and ask him to have a good think and decide what he would like to do as a special treat.

When you look at some of the tragic news stories in the last few weeks, you will realise what brilliant mums we are!

[Cloverjo]

I agree with LadyCG. I was just going to write something similar myself.

[pixie374]

Me too. You just sound like a busy parent, that's just how it is sometimes.

[tiggerblue10]

Thanks all, its really great when you get words of encouragement on here, and LCG, you are so right. Little Tigs finishes school on Tuesday so at least I don't have the school runs to do. Not sure when this work is going to end but it will be a relief when it does.

I'm going to have to go shopping on Sunday which I really didn't want to do. Will treat little Tigs to something nice :o)

[Atheist]

On the sofa, if possible. But a child who sees mum get cross in the heat of the moment can empathise with her emotions, unlike a child who is punished in a cold-blooded way by being told "Come to father's study at 8 o'clock and he will punish you."

[tiggerblue10]

Well I did actually cry when I was raising my voice at him. He got upset :o(

[LadyCG]

Tiggs, it's not a crime to show or feel emotion. Just remind yourself that you have brought your son up and provided him with everything he's ever needed and worked your butt off to do that.

Life isn't always rosy or plain-sailing and we can't all win the lottery (though I do live in hope). At least when Little Tiggs grows up and begins his solo journey you will know you did your absolute best by him and he will always adore you for it.

[anneasquith]

Tiggs, you and your son will always have a very special relationship. I can tell by your last post. You are doing so well .

[jourdain2]

OP Ans.- Myself and any available pillows. If possible, any available dog and I go for a very long walk as soon as possible, but you are on your own which makes it harder. I did find it difficult when collecting grandkids from school and supervising them for my deserted daughter. Walking dog did fill in a half hour for all of us and lower stress levels.

Been there, know how you feel. You could try having a lot of little things generally handy for these times - such as ''Do that Jigsaw then go and tidy your shoes and put your socks and knickers in the washing bin - oh and make sure your bed is made." That sort of thing used to keep mine busy.

Once they got to school age with homework (about 7) then I established a routine where they came in, changed clothes and put school clothes away, and then came down to a glass of milk and a couple of biscuits which they consumed as they did their homework. I used to get at least a half hour to get their tea organised before I checked homework and let them out to play. A dog -walk helps. :)

[Bobbisox1]

Tiggs there’s no text book on being a parent but it is the most rewarding job ever, the highs outweigh the lows, it’s a strange time we live in and emotions run high, please don’t beat yourself up, to me you sound like a very loving and caring Mum and remember, losing your patience is allowed

[Patsy33]

Tiggs, you're doing the best you can.
I'm sure your son knows this too.
You can have a little chat with him tomorrow as someone just mentioned and I know you will make it up to him as soon as possible. X

[anneasquith]

Working full time and with children, especially at this time of year can be very stressful. But being a lone parent is much worse. You and junior tiggs will get over this episode.

[Toorak]

I agree with Anne

You come across as an absolutely devoted and loving mother

[tiggerblue10]

Aww thanks everyone for you kind words :o)

Little Tigs is my world and it's been a very emotional this week what with a heavy workload and all these heartbreaking murders of little children. Every time I see their beautiful faces on the news the tears start.

[Mamyalynne]

Totally agree with everyone else, you are not a bad parent just a human one.

Talking and explaining to young Tiggs will give him reassurance during this hectic time.

Keep up the good work Mum ♥

[jno]

make sure you give him a cuddle before he goes to bed, remind him you love him (I assume you're not isolating or anything)

[LadyCG]

//Every time I see their beautiful faces on the news the tears start.//

Oh Tiggs, I've cried buckets over them this last week too. I can't understand a parent ever hurting a child.

At least we know our kids are loved and safe and wanted.

You're a brilliant mum, Tiggs.

[tiggerblue10]

Another heavy day but taking a much needed 5 minute break!

I've been doing just that, Jno....ever since I saw the heartbreaking clip of little Arthur saying no one loves him. I hugged little Tigs so hard I nearly squished him!