omg.....ww3 has erupted in my house!

[lcg]

son (19) and hubby (old enough to know better) have had an almighty ding dong - shouting so loud i'm sure the whole street heard. son has been grumpy, rude, lazy and an untidy so and so (his bedroom is disgusting) and hubby has been grumpy, fed up with son and finally exploded today. son has stomped off to gf's until friday and hubby is still seething.....how on earth can i sort this out? i have tried to suggest both parties apologise to each other, but the response from both is 'when hell freezes over'. i really don't want my son to move out or do anything rash....but they are both as stubborn (and stupid) as each other. help!!!

[joeluke]

'son has been grumpy, rude, lazy and an untidy so and so'

Time son grew up and started showing his parents some respect

[lcg]

try telling him that, joeluke. he's normally a great kid.....but has turned into lurch/incredible hulk over the last few months. i can't talk to either of them.....

[boxtops]

Is he working, or still a student?

[LyndaB]

Very very familiar, and brings back loads of memories. Thank God we all came through it and Dad and Son are now quite good friends! Took ages though :-(

[lcg]

both....he is at uni but also works at the weekends.....he is normally ok, but i honestly think he's very depressed - but won't do anything about it. took him to the dr's a few months ago and got antidepressants, but he also stopped taking those x

[maggiebee]

Your house your rules lcg. Easier said than done but need to reach a compromise or WW3 will continue.

[NoMercy]

Let him move out and he'll soon realise what side his bread is buttered.

[lcg]

but i don't want him to move out! i'm not ready for that!!!! i know he doesn't realise how cushty his life is....but i really don't want him to move in with his gf. that's a whole different story....and a world of trouble waiting to happen x

[Barmaid]

A few days apart and some cooling off may well help both of them come to their senses.

[excelsior-1]

Good evening lcg.
It sounds as though your sons' attitude is a recent development..
..is it worth talking to him and asking why the change in his behaviour?
If there is something troubling him, you may have the chance to help him sort it out

[lcg]

my god, i've tried......a few days peace sounds good, but i would like a truce at the end of it. i'm not ready to live with mr kicker by myself!!!!! x

[Barmaid]

A truce is more likely when done calmly and after the heat has gone out of the moment rather than in anger. Mr Reason and Mr Rationality generally leave the building during a ding dong.

[DaisyNonna]

Perhaps you are not ready for him to move out and he is. Obviously you have issues with GF. At 19 he is an adult, responsible for himself.

[lcg]

thanks, barmaid. i just feel terrible......when i scream at people i usually apologise really quickly. i can't stand an atmosphere lingering on and on....but i may just have to wait. no sleep for me,then! x

[lcg]

hi, daisy. yes he may be an adult....but he's so not worldly wise. he's my baby! (even if he is 6'5''). standing in the middle of two giant screaming men freaked me out (i'm only 5'2''!!!) x

[paddywak]

I'm afraid it's something that happens in a lot of families and it normally sorts itself out Icg. My dad and I argued about everything, mum always said we we're too much alike, but over the years we became very close, and eventually he became more my best friend then my dad.