Just How Chaste Where The Good Ole Days?

[EcclesCake]

I've just been watching Poirot and Hastings is publicly kissing (snogging) a young lady of his recent acquaintance.

It has got me thinking about how public couples were with their PDAs back in the day.

I'm in my 40's but the picture painted is of courting couples holding hands and a quick peck on the cheek prior to their wedding night. I find it difficult to believe that this was the case. I accept that contraception has played a significant part but what about prior to that how where things in reality?

[bibblebub]

PDA? means Person Digital Assistant to me

[sandyRoe]

There were Dr Barnardo's homes for illegitimate children all over the place. It couldn't have been only holding hands and pecks on the cheek.

[sandyRoe]

wasn't Poirot the least bit jealous?

[aelmpvw]

no more chaste than they are now ... just discreeter

[Buenchico]

My mother would have growled in anger if she saw young couples even holding hands in public. It simply 'wasn't the done thing', in her opinion. (Holding hands with a girl from the school next door, while walking home, was also an automatic expulsion offence at the school I attended).

My mother was born within the sound of Bow bells, in the 1920s, so she was technically a cockney but she based all of her social standards upon what was done "in the big house" when she was in service for a Harley Street surgeon. Holding hands in public was,in her opinion, just as disgraceful as things like combing one's hair in public. If she had ever seen anyone kissing in public, she'd have probably called a policeman straight away!

[EcclesCake]

Biddlebub - PDA=Public Display of Affection.

The fact that illegitimate children have been around for ever and a day is a fact yet the picture that is painted of the good old days is one of virgin marriages and total innocence. I was wondering what the reality was from the perspective of ABers of more mature years, not necessarily their personal experience but observations.

[gness]

When OH started to research the family tree he was surprised to find how many "premature" babies there were. Finding out who his grandfather really was and why was a real eye opener.

[EcclesCake]

Mmm, a friend of mine was a 'premature' baby.... he weighted in at 8lb something........

[gness]

I was a fair sized prem Eccles...as were many of my cousins. :-)

[mrs_overall]

It reminds me of an extract from a Terry Pratchett book that goes something like this:

"How old are you now Jason?"
"I'm 18"
"I miss your dad. How long is it since he died?"
"21 years ago"

[shaneystar2]

My Mum and Dad got married in 1926 .My sister was born six months later.
But of course this was never mentioned ...oooh noo :)

[EcclesCake]

Buen, that is certainly the view I have of our parents generation view of courting couples.

I find it difficult to balance such chasteness with the fact that there were many young women visiting distant aunts for a few months or experiencing premature births in early marriage.

Even as recently as the late 60's a friend of mine was sent to a psychiatric hospital by her father for having sex before marriage!!!

I'm curious why a facade of innocence was created when the truth was there all along if you looked hard enough/didn't ignore the facts in front of you.

[mrs_overall]

My grandmother was a young widow with kids in the war and had no income.
She never went short of anything due to her "friendships" with the coalman, the milkman, the butcher etc.

[LyndaB]

A friend of mine discovered she was pregnant and was too afraid to tell her parents. With good reason, as it happened. They packed her off to a mother and baby home, she had to look after the baby for a few weeks then had him taken from her and sent for adoption. The matter was never discussed again. This was not in the 1920's, but in the allegedly more enlightened 1970's!!

[Sqad]

Well, one did not "risk" intercourse before marriage and if a girl became pregnant out of wedlock that was a social disgrace, even for the lower (working) classes. Fear of becoming pregnant in this environment was quite a successful contraceptive technique.

But ...it did happen and the unwed mother would either, face the music, go away and have the baby or it was ......aborted.

Courting and sexual advances took a well worn pattern and may take months or even years to get to vaginal foreplay which nowadays would be thought of as "child's play" and may be embarked upon on the first date.

Times have changed ....eh?

[EcclesCake]

Shaney, your sister was quite clearly premature..... ;-)

Lynda, it is quite alarming how unmarried mothers were treated, my friend didn't even get pregnant but was still sectioned.

This is what I struggle with when looking through my rose tinted specs. Men & women have been having sex outside of marriage for quite a while, is discretion that sets them apart from today's couples?

[maggiebee]

My mum and dad were married in July 1936. My oldest brother was born in December 1936. Funnily enough I was in my 20s before I did the sums.

[shaneystar2]

Lol..she was Eccles .
It wasn't until after she died her children and us siblings found out she was actually three months younger than the birthday Mum "invented " for her :)

[gness]

My mother who was over fond of the...If you disgrace this family...lectures changed the date on her marriage certificate.....in a different coloured pen.

[EcclesCake]

So Sqad, those are the realities but how did you circumvent them? I'm surprised by your comments regarding how long it might take to reach vaginal foreplay; I had assumed mutual masturbation would have been 'safe ground' for adventurous couples.

Gness, your poor mother does colour blindness run further into the family ;-)