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Hi Mark thanks for replying, all started in February with a blocked bowel, went for a emergency hernia repair, been a nightmare since then. in and out of hospital with scar tissue blockages, she gets so distended and then vomits faecal matter! she couldn't wee so they put in a catheter in and somewhere at that point developed a UTI, I could go on and on, this last hospital visit they think they can also see a "mass"on the kidney. We have a meeting with medical team and occupation therapists on Monday so my sisters and I are going to have a pow pow before we go. Mum is 86 and was living at home with my younger sister and her family and all was well until now, sis runs a very busy business so keeps very busy and is willing to try and cope having her home again but for some reason seems reluctant to have social services involved, we had also been employing two private ladies prior to Feb to get meals etc but now we've got catheter in, wearing full "nappy" for bowel movement, she's very weak, lost a lot of weight, cant eat lumpy food, sometimes doest eat for two days, is hard work trying to get her to take liquids etc My elder sister and I think if we take her home we're going to need two of us during the day!