Dead Man Walking

[Connemmara]

Called into see sick brother whom I haven't seen for a while. A very proud and independent man who reared his 4 sons on his own.


He came to the door couldn't breathe and my sister and I asked him could we do anything. Could you peel a cuppla of potatoes which of course we did and when we got into the kitchen tried to tidy it up.

Very sad - he was a very good looking man but too stubborn and need/s more help than he lets on. Just waiting waiting !!!!

[scorpiojo]

?

[sherrardk]

Seems a rather harsh way of expressing yourself though.

[tonyav]

Conne, chill out a while, sleep on it you may feel differently about it in the morning.

[pusskin]

You sound so upset conne, it cant be easy!

[charlieuniform3]

The title of this thread seems a bit strange considering you are talking about your own kin!

[anneasquith]

conn, seems to have been a difficult day for you, maybe see you posting tomorrow.

[Peter Pedant]

Conne I think you are doing well helping the family
take a deep breath
and go on helping

unhelpful comments above, but keep in there !

[Hypognosis]

I hate to sound mean but aren't Social Services going to throw a wobbly when they work out that they're doing the washing up of the stay-at-home son (and his gf) and not the overwhelmed father?

I take it the son's behaviour is being tolerated because the family unit, as a financial entity, cannot afford for him to move out and pay his own rent. (I'll take it as read that the son making a house purchase is way out of the question). He is trapped in the family home but it sounds like his father is suffering from being trapped in there with him!

Of course there will be household tensions - it will be a case aunty telling nephew to stop 'using' his dad and to pull a finger out and sort out his own mess.

Moving your brother out for a couple of weeks respite would give him a break from the chores and improve his health situation but I'm guessing that (i) he will refuse to budge; (ii) he wouldn't want feel like he's going to impose on his sis; (iii) if he agreed and moved out for as little as a fortnight, the son will get the wrong idea that the property is now 'his', to use as he likes, causing major trouble when the respite session ends.

[Connemmara]

Sorry all for my answer re getting p ed with the brother and I have read over my postings but please realise I am getting over very bad vertigo/menieres disease from last Friday - I dry vomited for about 8 hours on Saturday and actually did not have my sister over yesterday.

When the vomiting stopped I then took the buzzing in my ear and thought it was the electrics in the house and went around yesterday turning off the phones lights fridge freezer but it was the buzzing my ear. I got a taxi over to my sister who gave me painkillers which helped me great.

I am full of anxiety and stress (like everybody else) but cannot seem to control it and I torture myself over things I did yesteryear.

My doctor just gives me the vertigo tablets but they don't help I need a mild tranquiliser to calm me down but they won't give me them.

Yous are right - bad posting from me there re brother but did not mean it at all. I think worrying about the state of him triggered the bad vertigo - Conne

[Peter Pedant]

conne my best wishes are with you
and your brother

and I am sorry about the Meniere's - can be a b+gga.

[Mamyalynne]

Conne when things all bundle up together it is no wonder we lose it at times. Try to explain how your anxiety is affecting you to the GP and hopefully get some help.

Sometimes with the family, the hardest thing we have to do is nothing - unless they ask for our help.

[Connemmara]

thanks peter and mamy - I think I may have been out of it when I posted the way I did yesterday. Wish I could catch myself on as there is so much heartbreak out there.

I am going to make an appointment with my doctor instead of these bl dy locums who won't give you any thing but have heard my doctor has his only problems

Last week his brother in Canada who has 5 children - last two were twin brothers and one the little lads died aged 22. So even doctors have problems too. So doctor is in Canada at the moment!

When he comes back it takes a long time to get an appointment with him but I will wait. Thanks all.

[pusskin]

Conne, I hope you soon feel much better and all the family problems soon get sorted x

[pixie373]

Sorry you haven't been well. Look after yourself and let your brother look after himself xx

[EcclesCake]

Drs are human and fallible too.

How's your new kitchen coming along?

[Connemmara]

thanks puss but my problem I take everybody's problems on and am not really fit to do so - life goes on and I can't change it.

[Connemmara]

eccles - new kitchen never happened as first fitter let me down so which I am dreading - it will start to happen (allegedly) in January (of all months) anybody take me in - oh with Mr Harv.

[pusskin]

((( Big hugs)))) connie!

[Connemmara]

ah thanks Puss - thank God I do get forgiven here.

[scorpiojo]

Is there anyone you can talk to until you doctor gets back? A counsellor at the surgery or an anxiety group? It might not change anything, but sometimes it helps just to talk. x