Relative's Lack Of Personal Hygiene Routine

[JeniPeni]

How do you go about suggesting to a relative (aged 76) that their hygiene is very lack ie they're not washing themselves, or changing their clothes for days on end. The relative doesn't suffer from any mental illness like dementia, so they must know that they're not washing anymore. We want to approach the subject but don't know how to go about it. Thanks in advance.

[jennyjoan]

corylus - she is not ill is she

[Mamyalynne]

I would take lcg's stance on this, whilst reinforcing it is because I care.


Corylus, I don't think there is a district nurse on the scene, unless I have missed the mention of one.

[corylus]

District nurse could still visit and advise if necessary

[Mamyalynne]

Only if the lady agrees, by which time the subject would have to have been raised - I hope Jeni does bite the bullet.

[jennyjoan]

well, where I live you wouldn't get a dn to come out and tell you to wash yourself. Getta outta here.

[2sp_]

I would try the softly softly approach first off, if it gets you nowhere, you may need to try a more direct approach.

[losgigs]

Jeni - how can you be sure that your relative doesn't have a type of dementia? If she is 'forgetting' to wash then I would suggest that getting her to her GP for a memory test would be something to try, though that may not be easy either. This was one of the symptoms my mother developed and she suffers from Alzheimer's, the most common form of dementia.

[dustypuss]

http://www.odt.co.nz/files/story/2013/06/_riot_police_use_a_water_canon_to_restrain_a_prote_51aa29333e.jpg

[dustypuss]

^^^Only Joking^^^

[JeniPeni]

No District Nurse - they don't come into the equation as nothing has been reported to anyone. I don't think it would be necessary to go down that route - I think its a family situation without advising any authorities.

[JeniPeni]

She isn't forgetting to wash, she just can't bothered and doesn't think there is an issue (I think).

[albaqwerty]

My mother started off this way to, early on-set dementia.
I offered to set her hair each week, and I'd put her washing machine on whilst I was there.
Hang it up and iron the next day when they were dried (obviously)

We asked to doc to visit her at home and gave her a very subtle memory test.

[albaqwerty]

If she can't be bothered, them I'm sorry to say I think it's a form of depression.

I wish you well

[gness]

Jeni....not wishing to concern you but do keep a careful eye on other things. We had the same problem with my mother. She was the cleanest person and never slow to tell others if she thought there was a problem with cleanliness or odours, but when it happened to her it was a different story.

She started to smell....wouldn't wash or bathe.....wouldn't change her clothes and nothing we said or did helped....she just got defensive and angry. Being told by friends and relatives....If she were mine I'd strip her off and lift her in a bath....was useful indeed.

We had help and advice from outside which didn't change the situation.

With hindsight we now know it was the very beginnings of dementia and was the only problem for a number of months. Later other "lies" cropped up.

Yes of course she had been to Mass....though we knew she hadn't....Yes she had eaten.....again we knew she hadn't.

I don't mean to alarm you....just to say be aware of other changes however small they seem....and my best wishes with this......x

[JeniPeni]

Thanks Gness, I appreciate that. And all the other responses too. Lots to think about!

[JeniPeni]

Update: We visited her GP with her (about other ailments) and she has admitted to us (and the Doctor told her) that she needs assistance with her personal hygiene. Now bathing! Thanks all for your advice.