Lexophiles

[frugalfred]

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that love using words in rather unique ways, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best one is held every year.
This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping Centre you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care Centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And the cream of the wretched crop:
Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

[Svejk]

i'll pinch the photographic memory one to insult people, lol.

[jim360]

Aren't these just... puns?

[Mamyalynne]

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum
Blownapart.

[marval]

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

[zebo]

The shopping mall one works better if the last words are "the mall". I need to go to bed!

[marval]

Thank you Fred