Running Away Or Suicide?

[JCYSXP]

I'm 13 and because I did some hoe things like sending nudes my parents want to contact my school guidance and tell the cops. I don't want this to happen and I believe that I live in an abusive family. I've tried to slit myself many times and I'm thinking about running away but I don't know anywhere that I can run to. I would be a burden to my friends if I ran to them. One of the many cases I've had with my family is that when my sister unreasonably gave me 16 bruises, I had to apologize 7 times for scratching her and doing my project last minute. I'm only a hoe because my parents don't pay attention to me and my family just doesn't like me in general. They don't understand and they want to make this matter a lot more complicated and basically ruin my whole entire life. I stopped after getting caught the third time because even after the second time they still didn't listen to me or pay attention to me. Now they want to report to the police and get someone in jail. If I could, I would rewind everything back in time. I want to hang myself too but I don't see a stable place for me to hang the rope in in my house. I don't think an orphanage would want to take a dirty child like me. Neither would a foster parent but I am smart, I'm Asian. I don't want to leave my family either because since my parents don't live near me and my dad doesn't go out with me (once a month) I am spoiled. But I don't like living with my abusive sister and people who think that I should be sorry and forgiving. I get quite an allowance ($150 a month) but I don't like my current situation. Would running away or would suicide be better? If I ran away, where would I run to? Thanks.

[ummmm]

Why don't you live with your parents?

[anthro-nerd]

Suicide will never be the right answer, no matter how difficult thing have become, you never know what will happen around the corner, so try to stay positive.

If you recognise that your behaviour has been wrong in the past, that's a great start! You don't need to act out to get attention.

Running away won't solve your problems either, as you'll probably just get picked up by the police and taken home again.

Do you have a teacher or trusted adult you can talk to for advice? It's difficult to know your current situation, but you sound very upset, and at 13 the world can seem a very scary place.

Find someone you can trust, a youth worker or teacher, for example, and talk to them about your worries. Good luck.

[maggiebee]

13 is quite young to sound so troubled. Does your school have a guidance teacher? Can you think of anything you could do to make your situation better?

[Tilly2]

So are you spoiled or are you being abused?

[JCYSXP]

@ummmm My divorced mom and step dad live in Hong Kong but come back 4 times a year. My dad does not have legal ownership over me and he lives about 10 minutes away from me.
@antrho-nerd I believe that sometimes suicide may be the right thing. I don't know what will happen either and it's really difficult for me right now. I recognize it but I've been caught 3 times already and my parents don't think that I've learned or if they have any fault in this. How would I be able to get attention then? They don't understand when I tell them what's happening, they care more about their life in Hong Kong with her new family with my half siblings. I want to be able to run away to a hideout and come back successful but I don't know how to do that. I want some gangster to take away my organs and kill me. I don't trust any adults. Guidance doesn't help because I don't want to be involved with the cops and I don't want to live another year and a half in a school where guidance knows I send nudes. Other students might find out too and I don't want that to happen either. The world doesn't seem as scary to me right now, I'm not really scared of dying but I can't stab myself and I do want to be able to change my life and hang out with my friends but my parents make that really hard to do.
@maggiebee 13 actually isn't that young to me and yes I am troubled but no I cannot find a way to make my situation better.
@Tilly2 my dad spoils me by buying me expensive things but my sister abuses me quite a lot. I am treated unfairly by my grandparents and parents. Apparently because I'm the younger one I should be grateful and be considerate of my sister even if she abuses me. Even if she is unreasonable to me I should be forgiving and not talk back.