Unbearable But Immovable Son

[Handoftheking]

We have a 27 year old son who has been causing us problems for the past ten years. He does have some mental health issues and we have spent over £600 on private counselling as well as encouraging him to take advantage of some of the local NHS alternatives. He has received all the support we can give him.
I have a terminal diagnosis for my cancer and most of the pressure from his aberrant behaviour falls on my wife who is having to deal with my slow but sure demise and with his unreasonable attitude. Frankly he is frequently vile to her and she is without doubt a lovely, caring mother.
We do have some savings and are prepared to buy a small flat so he can have his independence and give us both a break. The problem is that he is far too settled at home and steadfastly refuses to countenance giving up the comforts of home.
If push comes to shove, is it possible to force him out of the family home? My wife is close to a nervous breakdown and it's looking like the only alternative. If we can at least make it clear that we have the power to do this, he may wake up and smell the coffee, so to speak.

[ummmm]

Chuck him out.

I don't say that easily but you and your wife come first.

[bookbinder]

You might find something here:
http://www.ehow.co.uk/info_12340040_evict-adult-children-uk.html
https://legalbeagle.com/8660176-legal-evict-grown-children-home.html

[spathiphyllum]

This thread may be best off in law, i can only advise to seek a solicitor and maybe in doing so that reality alone woth put a light bulb on for your son

[dannyk13]

Your home.your rules, throw him out.

[spathiphyllum]

Thats what they want to do, but they can’t physically throw him out and i’m sure they don’t want to be forced to take legal action

[mallyh]

i'm so sorry to hear this ,we had to throw our son out (heroine addict)it wasn't easy but life is a lot better for oh and me I still get constant text messages but I can turn my phone off .your son is very lucky that you are willing to buy him a flat,but as we said to our son stand on your own two feet they aren't babies .

[BagPussAA]

My parents moved house in order to get my brother out of the family home. I left home at 17, couldn't wait to get away but he was still living at home at 26. So my parents said we are moving to a smaller house that is about 150 miles away so you need to find somewhere else to live because there will be no room for you in the new place.

[ladybirder]

Bookbinder's second link appears to be from an American site so not applicable here.

[emmie]

he should be out on his ear by now, sorry to hear about your woes, and i hope that this gets resolved sooner than later. He is old enough to stand on his own feet, don't let him browbeat your wife she has enough to contend with.

[LadyCG]

He sounds like a right charmer. Change the locks when he's out.

[anneasquith]

How severe are his " mental health issues" ?

[emmie]

there are places one can go to for mental health problems, crises houses for a start off, and the GP should be informed if he has serious mental health problems..

[hc4361]

You need to be very firm and clear with him. Now is a perfect time to tell him that if he has not moved out by 1st of January the locks will be changed and his possessions will be bagged up in the garden.
You don't need to give him notice but it may be helpful in the long run and ease your conscience if you feel bad about excluding him from the family home.
Tell him you will help him look for his next home, whether it is rented or bought, and help him move in but he is definitely going and the sooner the better.