Relationship Question

[wandergirl]

What do you think: should a boyfriend pay for cinema, going out, having meals and etc.? Or should a girl pay for herself? And what about spoiling ? Should boyfriend spoil his girlfriend and do surprises? Or it is not neccesery?

[woofgang]

I think they should share costs, either by splitting them or by taking it in turns to be the one who pays....but sometimes its nice to be invited out and spoilt whether you are the girlfriend or the boyfriend. I think the days of boy pays girl freeloads are over and gone and good riddance.

[ummmm]

Shared unless it's his or her treat.

[dannyk13]

Way back when what you describe was quite normal. I. being an old codger, would never have expected my girl friend to share the cost.

[gness]

Unless it's a very special treat for the boy or the girl both pay their share......the occasional surprise little gift or treat to and from each other is nice....x

[rockyracoon]

I remember my first date with Mr RR. He was disgusted that I went up to buy a round, and I was equally disgusted that he thought that I shouldn't.

[Rockrose]

lol first date with hubby he forgot his wallet so I paid for everything

[retrocop]

I'm with you danny. The age of chivalry is dying. :-)

[retrocop]

danny
I suppose in our younger days, pre codgership, the gentlemen were always considered the ones who brought the bacon home and controlled the finances. :0 )

[SparklyKid]

I knew my wife was the one for me when she whispered those three little words " what you having".. In the pub I might add.

[Old_Geezer]

In the pub ! Very avant-garde.

[aelmpvw]

each to their own but my doris doesn't like surprises

[BagPussAA]

Im not keen on surprises so my SO doesnt do them but he does like to send me little gifts if he knows I am having a bad day. When he comes over (He lives on IOM) the deal is normally, if we stay in I pay as I do the weekly food shopping and I will pay to have Netflix connected for when he is over (I dont bother for myself) and if we go out somewhere, he pays.

[gingejbee]

....and what if it's girl and girlfriend, or boy and boyfriend?

[kvalidir]

Generally I think you should share things and costs and we generally do, but my partner is far better off financially than I am and we had a conversation about this because he was very aware that that approach all the time would limit were we went and what we did because I would be broke very quickly and put under stress to 'keep up', so now I pay my share if we're doing normal stuff and extra special things he pays for. He's big on presents and surprises as well but that's just a personality thing, he enjoys it, and sometimes they are expensive and sometimes they cost absolutely nothing, and in turn I surprise him as well.
It's not about the cost it's about the equality of thought and care, but I'd never 'expect' him to pay for things just because he's the man, that's just rude and also somewhat lacking self-respect and equally a wealthy man shouldn't use money as a cop out to buy presents in lieu of genuine care and attention because that means nothing.

[Khandro]

It depends; if he's a hedge-fund manager and you are a student or a Tesco employee, ---- he pays!

[Eleena]

Kval, that about sums it up! :0)