Physical Abuse

[postman44]

Have been talking to a lady on a dating site. Who has come out of an abusive marriage of 19.years. wants to meet me. ? unsure of what to do.

[AuntPollyGrey]

Depends if she was the abused or the abuser really.

[LadyCG]

How long has she been out of the marriage?

[Barsel]

The problem being, if she was the abuser, she not likely to say.

[postman44]

Not divorced been out of marriage walked away nine months ago.with nothing.

[Chinajan]

What exactly is worrying you about meeting her? I'm not sure why her being an abuse victim might be of concern to you? Or is it the fact that she's still technically married?

Having said all that I'm not sure why she's told you about it before she's got to know you.

[postman44]

Chinajan. She is still technically married. And he could still cause problems.

[Sqad]

I would give that one a miss postman......too much baggage.

[Chinajan]

Well, that's a reasonable concern I suppose. I'd give this one a swerve. Dating's supposed to be fun. Plenty more fish in the sea.

[New Judge]

You still haven't said - was she the abuser or the abusee?

[Sqad]

NJ......does it matter lol.
Postman is liable tobe "clobbered" either way.

[Canary42]

Go for it - you should find it easier to decide whether to continue or not after having met her. It's a bit mean (and cowardly) to "desert" her because of her villainous spouse. And you haven't said how you feel about her, that's important too.

[Bobbisox1]

Doesn’t that mean the lady has no chance of future happiness ....if she was the one being abused ?
She deserves to be able to move on but maybe joining a dating site is a bit too early , she’d need to get her divorce sorted first

[Canary42]

Faint heart never won fair lady

[DTCwordfan]

take her out of town to a distant pub or wherever and you need to go into listening mode as well as being non-judgemental to begin with. See how she behaves with you.....

[tiggerblue10]

If you get on with her, go for it. If she walked away nine months ago and hasn't had any contact with her husband since, then it should be ok. Just see how you get on face to face.

[davebro]

If she was abused you may have to help her if she is being stalked by her ex - happened to a friend of mine.

[Chinajan]

Ain't no-one got time for all this drama before even meeting [nor after].

Start as you mean to go on postman. Uncomplicated. Fun. No drama.

Unless you're desperate like.

[Bobbisox1]

DTC offers some sound advice , take her to a pub of gif z meal well out of the way and listen to her but if there’s a jealous partner in the background, she needs to give it time

[Bobbisox1]

Typo * or a meal*

[Sqad]

LOL......that wouldn't be for sqad, as he would be too concerned about being found inthe backstreets after being torn apart by some bloody great Gorrila.
Tread carefully postman.......be in possession of these "abusive " stories...............and don't trust women,