Weird Brother!

[mimi999999999]

My younger brother (Lets call him Jacob) and I have been close ever since we were small. As we’ve gotten older, we aren’t as close as before. Jacob is acting extremely strange recently and it’s freaking me out. (Jacob is in 9th grade, 12-13 years old)

For some reason, one day Jacob will speak to me, then out if nowhere, he won’t speak to me again. I haven’t done anything to him AT ALL. I PROMISE! This happened last year and we didn’t speak for an entire year until I decided to speak to him again.

Jacob claims doesn’t respect anyone in my family except for my father. He treats my other younger brother with disrespect and calls him "pizza face" due to his acne, even though he hasn’t done anything wrong. Whenever my mom is speaking, Jacob always shuts her out, not paying any attention to her and just focusing his eyes on my dad.

I don’t understand why Jacob respects my dad so much, considering the fact that my dad always threatens to beat him. Jacob constantly misbehaves in school. The other day he had gotten school lunch and thrown it all over the staircase, many students got their uniforms dirty. I don’t understand WHY he would do this at all. It’s extremely annoying because I don’t want my teachers to associate his misbehaviors with me. It isn’t rare for him to cause arguments with people from his grade, even though I don’t really like Jacob, I still have to stick up for him as his older sister. I don’t really have any strong feelings of "care" for Jacob but for some reason I will always defend him if he’s facing trouble in school. I had to prevent a fight between him and another kid, literally placing myself in the middle between them to prevent a fight.

Jacob freaks me out to the point where he literally took the KEY to my room and hid it. My mom and I are the only people who share the same key, so obviously my mom had thought that I had lost it. We looked for the key for WEEKS only to find the key in Jacob’s uniform pants.

Today, which is the reason why I am writing this, I decided to be kind and offer some snacks to Jacob. When I asked if he wanted it, he had such a psychotic look in his eyes, it honestly freaked me out. He’s never had this kind of expression on his face, and I honestly feel extremely unsafe living in the same roof under him. I feel so unsafe to the point where I have to lock my room every night when I go to bed.

I’m only sixteen and I feel really unsafe around Jacob. I have a really horrible gut feeling whenever I am around him. Nobody in my family wants him to be in this house, and my parents want to kick him out as soon as he is of age. My mother even wants to stay in her home country to avoid his presence. I want to tell my parents about how I feel when I’m around Jacob. The thing is, I don’t think my parents would take me seriously if I told them that I don’t feel safe around Jacob. What can I do!?

[barry1010]

If your parents want to kick him out and your mother wants to flee the country to get away from him, why wouldn't they believe you?

Talk to them, talk to a teacher at school and if your family goes to church, talk to the pastor

[Old_Geezer]

Tell your parents. Point out, if they haven't already noticed, that your father is the only one likely to get through to him. It's a parenting responsibility to care & guide their children. Yes, you could nention it to teachers too since your parents seem to have lost control. Making your fears known and doing what you can to avoid any incidents is about all you can do, as far as I can think of at present.

[chanel5]

I can see from your explanation that you and your family are struggling to understand and deal with Jacob's behaviour.
But I can't help feeling sorry for Jacob.
It is clear that he has some psychological issues that need to be addressed, but no one seems willing or even competent to address these issues, with the result that Jacob is falling further and further into confusion and distress, and struggling to find a place in a world that must seem totally against him, as he seems to have no one "on his side".
For the sake of all the family, Jacob needs to be assessed by a psychologist. His problems may be severe, in which case some sort of intervention may be needed. But whether his problems are mild, or severe, it is certain that he will need the support of his family.
With a mother who is willing to flee the country to get away from him, and siblings who are so terrified of him that they cannot bear to be in the house with him, Jacob doesn't have much going for him at the present time.
At least you appear to be concerned about Jacob's wellbeing, even though you are afraid of him. That fear is understandable, and you are to be praised for still worrying enough about Jacob to want to help him.
Please, be insistent to teachers, doctors, any adult who will listen, that Jacob needs help. For Jacob's sake, and for the sake of the whole family.
I wish you well and I hope your teenage years can be more settled in the future.

[douglas9401]

Jacob sounds a little crackers.

[Barsel]

Doug, she probably won't get that.

[douglas9401]

Mmmm. :-)