Totally Confused About Behaviour Of My Best Friend 50Th Birthday Very Upset

[gordiescotland1]

Hi my best friend of 37 years who is going to be 50 on Sunday has totally acted weird and out of character and upset me. He is 50 and I always make a big effort with people but this seems to have fallen flat this time. Due to a serious lack of communication on his part. I arranged that I was going to go to the town he lives the night before, stay in a hotel and the next day go to his house for afternoon tea that was to be delivered from a local hotel. Everything was fine until Monday when he started saying things like "Don't expect too much" well I know what to expect. And it's a long way to come i will understand if you can't make it. I told him that although I find travelling difficult I was willing to do it. The rest of the week I kept on trying to discuss arrangements with him and he would change the subject. I got vibes from him that he didn't really want me to come. So last night I emailed and asked him directly if he didn't really want this to happen and he replied with a blank email and then another email with a quiz he had made up, he does this entitled "More important" this concerned me. So I emailed his father explaining that I felt my friend didn't want me to come could he find out, it is 2 buses 1 taxi my mother looking after the cat etc a hotel over £150 in total if he didn't really want this it was a lot of effort for nothing. Well my friend replied to me saying of course he wanted me to see him on Sunday or another time and would discuss all the alternative arrangements later. That was about as clear as mud. I tried to phone him last night he had taken the phone off the hook. The final straw came when he sent me old school photos via email this afternoon but no mention of Sunday. I cancelled the hotel and emailed him telling him how dissatisfied that he couldn't communicate with me. Or be honest with me. He has OCD and not left the house since the pandemic except to get vaccinated but people have been to the house regularly to see his parents so it's not that. Also he plays games with me. He tells me I have offended him by saying something so when I ask him what it is he says if I don't know he is not going to tell me scream !!

I don't know what to make of all this I'm really hurt and angry he or his father tried to phone me tonight but I didn't answer I was too upset 

[andy-hughes]

Naomi - // Andy Hughes, You're after a row with your predictable ranting //

No, I'm not.

// ... same words, same repetitive bluster as always -  and it does you no favours.  //

Your opinion, and of course, as you know of old, that means nothing at all to me.

// Take a breath. //

Stop being the site judge.

[naomi24]

You talk about the OP being upset but nonetheless you disregard that and carry on ranting about something totally unrelated.  You carry on if you must, Andy Hughes.

[andy-hughes]

Thanks - I would anyway, but I've made my point. 

[Alan365]

If he was any kind of friend he wouldd be straight with you as you deserve no less

[andy-hughes]

Khandro - I have re-read my posts addressing your response to the OP. 

On reflection, my posts do not show me in a good light. 

Therefore, I would like to withdraw my comments and offer my unreserved apologies for what was an undeserved and unfair attack on you personally.

I hope you will understand that we all say things we shouldn't, but that does not excuse them.

However, I am always happy to admit I am wrong, and offer an apology, and I do both now.

Thank you.

[Khandro]

a-h    👍

[andy-hughes]

Thanks Khandro, you are a gentleman. 

[lankeela]

Who are you and what have you done with the real andy hughes?

[jno]

for heaven's sake, calm down, you mods. This is Gordie's Family and Relationships post, not in Chatterbank, seeking advice not bickering.

[andy-hughes]

Lankeela  - Lol!!!

[anneasquith]

Nice to see a mod taking responsibility for their posts. 
it did turn into the  Andy and  Naomi show though .

[Smowball]

I personally would send him a message and say you are a bit confused by his recent messages and could he please just reply and say whether he wants you to visit or not. Say you don't mind either way - whatever is best for him. 

[andy-hughes]

Anne - I'm not posting as a Mod, just as an AB'er, which I am first and foremost. 

[douglas9401]

Aye, until...

[anneasquith]

Andy. Do you as a mod believe any Site Rules were broken on this thread ?