ChatterBank2 mins ago
I'm Really Worried I Have Upset My Friend??
137 Answers
Tonight I went out with my friend for the rugby and we were chatting to these guys and my mum messaged me asking when I was I home and got abit snappy with the guys so my friend messaged me after saying she dint like it and felt I had to pay them back when it wasn't her round. His friend came back in after going outside I apologised right away but friend still wasn't happy and messaged me about it afterwards.
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You can't have it both ways. Either you have learning difficulties, mental health problems, seizures, depression and money worries and are only mentally capable of living with parents - in which case any friend would know this and expect you to behave oddly at times - or in reality you are a young woman in a low paid manual job that likes to go out on the town with mates of a similar ilk, mates who even throw up in pubs and get barred, sometimes coming up against men also out for the same reasons or looking for them online. Which is it as it's becoming very unfair on your unwavering supporters on here if it's the latter.
Once again, I will say you act in very same way thst my autistic friend behaves constantly. (The one who has been diagnosed in late 20s as autistic and is supply teacher with children of her own). Like you she will dwell on unimportant past events and go over and over things that cannot be changed, asking every single friend for their opinion on every single thing, but ignore the advice she receives anyway.
Like you she focuses on trivial things instead of the stuff that really matters.
You just turned down opportunity to have a new full time job, make a lot more money, make new friends, new grouos of people to have work nights out with etc but you more hung up on what this friend thinks about a 50 year old group of guys no-one had any interest in and will probably not see again.
My friend was not diagnosed with autism at 4, 5 6 ... or at 21, 22, 23... but it did not mean she was not autistic her whole life and throughout her childhood. Believe me a lot of things fall into place once there is a diagnosis however ild a person is. (Im sure people find out they have heart murmers, have ceoliac disorders etc, but doesn't mean they don't have them just because there was no diagnosis.) Unfortunately I have been through the SEND system for over 26 years with my 2 boys and they do not want new referrals or want to do new assessments esp for young chikdren as there is no money in system to support them once they get a diagnosis.
A diagnosis doesn't guarantee they will get the support that is needed but it can help that person and their family to understand and support them better if they find out there is a disability.
My son's are both bright and intelligent. Autism has a very broad spectrum. My son likes to say he does not have a 'disability', it is just a different ability. I love that!
Autism in girls/women is more difficult to diagnose as they find more coping mechanisms and can mask their problems, observing and copying cues and behaviours from others, which I think Abbey has managed to do for most of her life.
