Desparate father

[Im a BusyBee]

Im asking this for a friend.....it came out just before xmas that his wife of 15 years had been spending hours chatting on computer with men, meeting up, and making contact through mobile phone. they have 4 children under 11, live in a housing association house and struggle to live comfortably. the police became involved but didnt seem to be interested and took no action. friday before xmas she disappeared and took children transpires they went to a safe house. she let them ring their dad xmas day but thats all hes heard from them. she seems to be unanswering his solicitors letters, he is out of his mind with worry for the kids and seems helpless, can he do anything???

[CheekyChops]

Why would the Police be involved and why has she moved to a safe house? Has he been violent towards her?

[Im a BusyBee]

the police were involved because he was worried about what she had been doing on internet - there were lots of photos on there, no he's not violent but there was a 'domestic' just on the day he found out and wanted to get the computer files looked at. it appears she has been lying to official people and she requested she go to safe house. which again makes it so unfair that he cant even see the children he doted on. they(chidlren) have missed hospital appointments because he cannot make contact, doesnt know where they are and she wont answer letters sent via solicitors

[efc]

Don't forget there are two sides to every story! There must be a good reason for this person to turn to a safe house. There also must have been things wrong in the relationship to make this person turn to the internet. You also can't be sure that the children have missed hospital appointments. Maybe the mother has contacted the hospital direct! Obviously the solicitor knows the whereabouts of this person and has probably advised that there be no contact for whatever reason.
I'm speaking from first hand experience! I was judged for something similar 9 years ago. Even my own family turned against me. It was only during a court case etc when the full story came out that they saw things clearly! Keep an open mind and don't take sides until you hear both of them!!

[Im a BusyBee]

i do agree efc but there seems to be different rules for different people as a close relation of mine was told totally the opposite to this guy when spliting up from her partner - and i know the truth from every side in that instance. it just doesnt seem right that he's not allowed to see his children at all and that lies are being told against him ( i do know for myself that some lies have been said).

[efc]

Obviously legal advice has been sought in this case and I think that's probably the best route to take. I totally agree that fathers should have rights to see there children and the answer in this case probably lies with the courts. They will decide access rights etc. Not always a nice route to take but probably the best if lies are being told!
I'm sure things will get better for your friend but it can take time.