Am I being unreasonable?

[Reverandfunk]

I've recently fallen out with my girlfriend as when we went on holiday I spent 2 full days looking after her and her friends children on the beach whilst the two of them went shopping. I pointed out that this was an ideal time for them to spend quality time with their kids but got called spoilt for not getting my own way. They were more interested in shopping for rubbish than spending time together as a family, just tell me am I being unreasonable lol.

[skyep]

Rever - It was very selfish of your girlfriend.

[Reverandfunk]

Thanks!

[ummmm]

No your not

[Reverandfunk]

Thanks, also forgot to mention about her letting her ex sleep on the settee (when I was there) after he had had a row with his new girlfriend who he left her to be with!

[redcrx]

I think it was perfectly reasonable for you to suggest that they spend the holiday time with the children.
As for the ex boyfriend sleeping on the sofa I think thats primarily her choice if its her house. I think its good when ex partners can still get on with each other and not fight about who was at fault, especially if he is the father of the children.

[Reverandfunk]

Thanks red, however I thought it a bit out of order when he would arrive drunk at 2am in the morning, she would get up let him in, chat to him for 2 hours, make him breakfast in the morning then compalin she did't want to come out with me because she was tired! All this for the man who never attended parents evening, school plays and used to hit his son!

[noxlumos]

How long was the holiday? If it was a weekend then you're right, if it was two weeks then you're not. The holiday has to be for her as well surely?
You seem to think she should do what you "point out", doesn't work like that with women, has the opposite effect in fact usually.
As for her ex sleeping on the sofa, that's great and fine, no problem there and she hasn't done a damned thing wrong on that count.
The holiday I'm ambiguous about, it depends on timescales, but sit down and talk to hr about it without rowing and see what her point of view is.

[Reverandfunk]

Hi Nox, So would you feel comfortable getting up in a morning and finding your partners ex on the settee?

With regards to pointing something out to her how can you win? if you say something to them you're nagging and if you don't you get walked all over. Bear in mind the holiday was for 4 days, she and her friend shopped for the first two days along with a stranger we met in the hotel and that her sone has learning difficulties, so she put a stranger before her own son. You can shop for rubbish any day of the week but how often can you play on the beach with your kids?

[noxlumos]

My lovely wife that was had all and sundry kipping on our sofa on a regular basis so actually no it wouldn't bother me, doesn't mean anything, just shows a kind natuer in my humble opinion.
Again with the holiday, ok maybe she just wanted some time to herself. If her son has learning difficulties I can honestly undertsnad that to be honest. It would have been nice if she'd sopent a bit mroe time maybe, but everyone's different. If you are that upset sit down and chat to her about uit non confrontationally and I'm sure she'll give you her reasons.

[sarnieken]

Dude,
Sounds like she's tryin to walk all over you mate.
This is speaking from experience, I used to go out with a girl who would often ring me up at 2 in the morning after she'd been out with her mates and expecting me to pick her up and take her home. This is (as I found out later) she'd spent the evening getting off with her ex.
I'm not saying that your girl is doing this but whatever is happening, don't let her get the better of you.
Holidays are for spending time, not money. If they had the intention of going shopping for two days they should have at least told you beforehand rather than lumbering you with their kids.
As for the Ex coming round. If your girl can't see that it bothers you then she is blind. Kudos to you for not causing a scene but just make sure she realises who she is with now.
If she can't realise that you aren't there for baby sitting or hotel duties then give her the big E.

[Reverandfunk]

Thanks Sarnieken, already have lol.

[McNoodle]

Good move.

[miss behavin]

no way . i would have gone nutts and charged them for baby sitting haha

[Reverandfunk]

Miss Behavin, I would have but they spent all their money on ashtrays with rastas on them lol.

[miss behavin]

hey i would'nt go that far more like a couple of bottles of vodka ha ha

[PinkFizz]

I would have had the right hump if it was just sprung on me. It would hve been different if before the holiday she had said that she needed some kid-free time and would you mind. But if she just did all this last minute and gave you no choice then its totally wrong.

[joko]

when you say 'full' days - do you really mean 3-4 hours?

[chitchat]

Why did your girlfriend's mate and kids go on holiday with you in the first place? Or were you the afterthought/babysitter all along but you didnt know? I think you are better of without her!

[kaylamay]

sounds like they took advantage of you and your niceness.
If there is ever a next time tell them sorry cant watch YOUR kids cause I"M going shopping. You cant tell someone what they should or shouldn't do all you can do is make sure they dont use you to get THEIR selfish way.
Mikala