Sir/Madam/Mate/Lovely

[johnlambert]

I've just paid a cheque into my bank and was quite astonished to be called "my lovely" by the girl proccessing said cheque. On my way home I filled up the car at the garage, only to be told when handing over the johnlambert debit card "cheers mate". MATE????? as far as I can remember, we have never been introduced, so how can we be mates? Is it just me? were my colleagues and officers in the Army right when they said that my standards were too high? I remember (not so long ago) that when you bought goods from anywhere, you addressed either as "Sir" or, if you were a lady "madam/miss". When did I become every shop assistant/pub barman,/ petrol attendants /policemans mate?

[mycats]

I know, I get laughed at by my friends because I complain about this.
I dont want people I dont know, in shops or banks etc calling me dear/love etc or even using my first name as if we are best mates

[legend759]

well mr lambert you should move to spain.
youre always called senor.
i like it myself.

[devilwoman]

i guess it works the other way too, recently when i was in hospital the young doctor introduced himself as Daniel, but but kept calling me mrs ***** i told him to call me by my first name.

it made me feel old whenever he called me mrs so and so
i'd much rasther be called by my christian name..

[johnlambert]

Thats fine devilwoman, you have given your permission to be addressed by your 1st name, but in my book, it's just downright disrespectful not to be addressed as anything but "sir".

[legend759]

to be honest sir is a bit extreme .
unless youre knighted do you really have the right to be called sir?
legally i think not.
and it is the 21st century.


ok senor???

[johnlambert]

It's a mark of respect legend. The only people I call mate are friends I've know for some time, they have to earn the right to be called my mates, as I have to earn their respect. I dont know much about Spansh culture but I dont think being called "senor" is any more disrespectful that the Germans calling all men "Mein Herr" or the French addressing us as "Monsieur".

[legend759]

i wouldnt say foreigners are disrespectful.
on the contrary.
they always introduce themselves and are respectful.
but sir in the uk is looked on as old fashioned by many .
and im sure in pc britain probably insulting to ethnic minorities too.
so perhaps its time to move into the 21st century.

[Katie~77]

I can see where you're coming from with this one. I hate being called "darlin", by complete strangers. Gives me the heebeegeebees!x

[redcrx]

i work in an industry where most customers and suppliers are male.

There are a few women in a some suppliers sales teams that are female (as i am) who insist in calling everyone 'love' or 'darling', including me. It is really irritating when they are young girls too, some of the older women are just a bit 'motherly'

I always though about calling them something equally bad back, or worse ( lover, sweetheart etc) but dont want to sink to that level.

[johnlambert]

I think that anyone providing a service should not be over familiar in the way they address people paying for that service, it's also about good manners, and I am of the opinon that, no matter which century one lives in, good manners are paramount.

[ELVIS68]

Why should somebody you`ve never met call you sir?, there`s nothing wrong with someone calling you mate,

if you take it too personal then you`re being a snob,

sir my ar$e!

[devilwoman]

just wonder johnlambert, if you were a patient in hospital, would you expect the nurse to call you sir? and would you call them nurse/sister ect, instead of using their first name?

[johnlambert]

Like I said ELVIS,
it's about manners, and you have just proved my point

[johnlambert]

Yes devilwomwoman, when I broke my ankle 4 years ago playing rugby, and in the A+E department I addressed the nurses as "nurse" and the Dr's as "Doctor"
PS Mrs johnlambert was a nurse and is always called this, even now as an Occupational Health Advisor in a Multi National company

[ELVIS68]

It`s got nothing to do with manners,if you hold a door open for someone and they say `thanks mate`..is that bad manners?
You are saying you expect people to call you sir...now that`s bad manners

Who are you trying to be, WM ?....ffs

[winny]

I have been a bar maid for many years and the number of fights that have started from someone calling someone "mate" and offence being taken is high.
Mate is a bit too friendly but I do think Sir is better and depending on the situation ,emphasis and body language can make it more formal or less.

[legend759]

i think you might be being a bit pretentious mr lambert.
im not being insulting but expressing my opinion.

[johnlambert]

When Im paying for a service ELVIS, then, yes I do expect good manners
what in heavens name has WM got to do with this? ffs

[ELVIS68]

Good manners means saying please and thank you, not calling you sir

No offence, but it`s the sort of thing he`d come out with,maybe it`s just an ex-army thing

[devilwoman]

well personally, i think, especially if you're an IN patient especially if you have an ongoing problem where you go quite often into hospital, you get to know the different nurse and doctors, they become like your friends, they have names too. i think then they would laugh if you just called then nurse, besides which nurse, would you be calling, theres lots of them on duty at one time, i doubt they would be happy calling you sir anyway. its called being friendly and thats what help pateints to recover much faster.