Reporting child abuse

[oldgrape]

I feel i need to report the mother of my stepson!
He comes round mine 3 nights a week and is seriously thin he told me his mummy is trying to get him to lose weight (if he lost any more he would be invisible)
As i said he is with me 3 nights a week his nan once a week and the rest at his mums, he is seriously malnourished and is constantly ill and misses loads of school.
His mum is disabled and makes my stepson do the majority of the chores i am also concerned that he is 9 years old and has to have a bath with his mums boyfriend and still shares a bed with his nan (she sleeps naked)
Not sure if this is all classed as child abuse i have seen numbers that i can phone to report this but i have a very bad speech impedament and find it hard to speak and use sign language most of the time i was wondering if there was any web sites were i can report this on line

[Ethel]

You need to discuss your concerns with your step son's father - your husband, I assume.

If you can't do so, is there another family member or close friend?

However you can email NSPCC at

[email protected]

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/helpandadvice/whoturnt o/nspcchelpline/helpline_wda33161.html

[Annlinda]

You could always write to the Child Protection unit of your local social services or get someone you trust to ring them on your behalf..
Have his school voiced concerns? Is his GP aware of his malnurishment and apparent illness causing him to be absent from school
What is his fathers atitude to this situation?
Get the ball rolling as soon as you can for the sake of this abused little boy.
Good Luck

[rabbitdrop]

Poor little kid. It sounds abusive to me. I agree that you need some professional advice. NSPCC should be a good starting point. Also there is the NCH. Or you could speak to a the local school nurse (ring the shool to find out who it is) or health visitor. You may have to be quite insistent. I personally tried to report a case of child abuse and had a lot of trouble getting anyone to take it seriously. Also you shouldn't feel bad about doing this. It isn't about getting the child's mother in to trouble it is about getting help for both of them. You'll have to find a way to get by your speech difficulty. Are you better seeing someone face to face? If so you could write and ask for an appointment to see someone. Or as you say a web site. The children's society website is at :
http://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/for+childre n/need+help+or+advice/seeking+help/

As they say you could also try going to the police. They are usually very sensitive in how they handle family problems and will definately know where to go for help.
Good luck. I'll be thinking of you all.

[annie0000]

How well does he eat when he is with you? Is he hungry or does he have a poor appetite? If you have genuine concerns then you should report them, but remember, this child is spending almost half the week with you, and you will also come under scrutiny. How do you know all this information? are you absolutely certain it is true or are you really seeking reasurance by having someone independent check it out. Be sure of your motives as you will need to make it clear that you have the childs interest at heart. I am playing devils advocate here so that you are prepared for the questions that will be asked.

[oldgrape]

My husband doesn't take an iterest in his son i am the sole carer when he is with us and his view is it's not his problem (his ex wife and him split on bad terms and he doesn't want anything to do with her!
My step son has told me and also his older sister (aged 15 not my partners child) has spoken to me about it!
His nan doesnt deny she sleeps naked with the boy she doesn't see a problem with it as she did this with her own children
He has a large appetite when here with me but does get worried that he will get in trouble when he sees his mum!
The school have not said anything that i am aware of

[BradPlantpot]

citizens Advice bureau @ www.citizensadvice.org.uk. childline website.

[AB Editor]

This post has now been edited by the AnswerBank Editorial Team and any offensive answers removed. Sorry if anyone has been offended

AB Ed

[crete]

good move ed

[minibusman]

i feel for you i realy do... putting all this on your shoulders is not fair...his father should take an interest in his own son!! o.k. so he hates his mom now...well he must get over that for the sake of this poor little boy... not only does it seem that his mom is starving him of food she is also starving him of a childhood!... sleeping with his naked nan! whats that all about... you should also feel very proud of the fact that at least he can talk to you ... but you do need help and i am sure that the nspcc e-mail address would be a good place to start ... i wish you all the luck in the world and also for that little boy too....xx

[dmsymr]

Me or my other half are not child minded at all, but I have to say, In MY OPINION, thats child abuse. Unless their is some kind of restrictive disability, their is no way a nine year old should bathe with someone else, or sleep with someone else. Thats Not Right!!! Its tough though, maybe try talking to the little guy. See if he mentions anything he isnt happy with. Id definately ring social services to see what their view on the matter is. I think you have a duty to do something! :-)

[dmsymr]

Sorry, my answer wouldnt have helped If you have trouble talking (to some degree). Find an address from your local social services dept then maybe you could write to them with your concerns. even If its anonymous, youve done your bit! Be strong, you dont need to speak to make your feelings and views known! Good luck

[juliacornwal]

You know, don't you, that if you go to the NSPCC it is absolutely confidential. They will never disclose your name, so there can be no come-back from his mother. But judging from what I've read, you need to do something NOW, TODAY!

[Fairie]

i agree woth most of others that have psted answers, you realy need to do something, this little boy deserves a good stabble home and plenty of food and love, not encouraged to be anorexic, sleep with a naked nan and bath with a man!!! help him now, you can do it!!!