Adoption

[dtr123]

Hi, this is just a theoretical question.

My wife and I have just seperated, divorce ongoing. If she shacked up with someone else does she have to get my permission to change the 2 kids names or have them adopted by her new man.

I am adopted and think the absolute world of my kids and the thought of them being with someone else is abd enough, let alone them havig their names changed.

Thanks

[yummymum]

yes she would need your permission, my understanding of it is that the other guy would have to adopt you children to be able to change there names unless they decided to do it themselves when they are older in which case you cannot stop them xx Why would your wife want to do this anyway xx

[Ethel]

Their names can be changed by deed poll or usage.

To change by deed poll your permission would be needed.

There is no way the children could be adopted without your permission.

Don't forget you have parental responsibility - you have just as much rights and responsibilities concerning the children as your wife does.

[tradey]

i think it all depends on if married to your partner,me and my ex we split when my son was nearly 2 we were both young,he has never been in my sons life since the day he left,and thank god never will be thanks to my son who made his own mind up,well anyway i met my hubby not long after and weve been together ever since,when my son was 4 we got married and we changed his surname by deed poll and we didnt need the ex to say yes or no.

[dtr123]

Thanks for your help.

I want to be a very active dad even though we are no longer living together. they are everything to me and I just wanted to know where i stand.

I dont think that my ex would do it or try to do it but she said she wouldnt do a lot of things when we split up and she has gone back on those. Its only been 8 months and not having the kids is a nightmare.

Oh well guess i need to find another girlfriend.

[PinkFizz]

Curious - my partner and his ex had a child together and although never married he has been told that she cannot change the childs surname without his permission.

[Bohne]

Also a theoretical question:
Why are so many men so hung up on last names...
You can be a good dad to your children, and their love for you will not change with the change of their name (should it ever get that far).

Not sure how old your children are, but should your wife ever remarry, it might be difficult for them not to share their mother's name any more (who, I suppose will be taking care of them).
Maybe it won't be a problem, who knows, but is this name more important to you, than your children's happiness?

Just a theoretical question as I said!

Other than that:
A friend of mine had her son's name changed (to her maiden name) after she split from the father!
I know she never got his consent for this, so not sure, what the law says on this!

And other than that:
I wish you all the best for the future, and hope you can be the great dad you want to be.
And I hope that you and your wife BOTH will put your children first, and your personal problems only second!

[dtr123]

Thanks for that, I have only ever put my kids first, perhaps that is the reason she left. Who knows.

I dont know who my real family are and my 2 little ones are all that I have. Having them taken away from me is very tough as anyone who feels the way I do will testify. Them not having the same last name as me just wouldnt seem right to me.

And no my childrens happiness is the most important thing to me in the world which is why, when I have them, we spend the whole time playing or doing things together.

I dont expect everyone to agree with me but that is how i feel so thats it.

[Bohne]

I understand your feelings about having the children taken away from you!
That's why I hope you both can work around the situation without pulling the children into any arguments or disagreements.
Good luck to all of you!