Ex-husband refuses to give Ex-directory number for emergency contact

[MAMA KIN]

My ex-husband refuses to give me his home number so that I have an alternate number to call him in an emergency on when he has our child. Am I being unreasonable to ask for this? and legally can he withold this number?

[Beanmistriss]

Rev how do you know mama kin's not a mental stalker? (I'm sure you're not mama) For him not to give his address or home number that may be the case. How do you know she doesn't ring up screaming at him at all hours of the night when the fancy takes her? Or ring him up 30 times a day to discuss "things"?

My bloke had to provide both his kids with moblies because his ex wouldnt give him the home number or answer her mobile when he rang. She wouldnt let the kids ring us from her phones cos she "didn't want to see his number on the bills". Now his son lives with us he still has to have the mobile cos she won't ring our house. To other people she seems lovely but she's actulally completly of her tree. She no doubt has all her mates convinced that we're the unreasonable ones.

My point is that unless you know about whats gone on with people you can't just stand on the side of one person, even if they are the mother.

[Reverandfunk]

Bean - As an absent parent wouldn't you want to be able to communicate with your child at every opportunity?

[Beanmistriss]

She has that opportunity, she has his mobile. As I said before, there may be reasons why she does not have his home number and if there are then she won't be admitting to those will she?

She has said in the same question in law that she has stopped access because he wont give the number. So in my opinion she is a completly unreasonable person. Children are not for playing games with to get your own way and control what your ex does. It seems to me that a lot of people use their children to control their ex's under the guise of "what is best for my child".

[Beanmistriss]

Thats what she wrote in the same post in law.

[China Doll]

I don't really see the problem. I only have a mobile these days but even when I had a land line it was always much easier to contact me on my mobile as I (generally) always have that with me.

I always find calling people on their mobiles the easiest way of getting hold of them as half of us are never around anyway.

[Reverandfunk]

I make a perfectly valid point and ask a perfectly valid question you have to revert to child like insults.

I asked YOU as a father if you would want to be able to talk to your child at every opportunity and cheaper as the father has already said it is too dear to call mobiles and cheaper for the child to ring you.

We are not debating whether the mother is a nutter, I am asking that as a father what has he got to lose by giving her and his child his landline number?

[China Doll]

No I don't.

But I also don't know the whole story either way.

So I'm hardly best placed to make a judgement call on it.

I don't think children should be used in game playing when families split up though. That's all I will say.

[Yorkie580]

Since this seems to be going on twice...

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Law/Question460 132.html

[Reverandfunk]

Legend one day you really want to try removing your head from up your own ar5e.

You seem unable to answer the basic question - would you want your child to be able to contact you cheaply and at any time and vice versa.

Yes or No

[Beanmistriss]

Rev: obvious answer to your question from anyone one would be yes of course they want their child to be able to contact them as easily and cheaply as possible. So it makes it even more likely theres a reason why he won't give it to them.

It may be that hes just akward like my blokes ex, its entirely possible. Its also entirely possible that he wouldnt get a minutes peace if he gave her it. You dont know them so you can't say. Its not as easy as you make it out to be in your "basic question".

[B00]

Woah, this post took off!

Glad to see i'm not in the minority anymore either, lol. We obviously don't know he full story here, i'm sure if we heard his story we might hear a different story?

I have to say though, after reading the othter thread I think it's dreadful that she denied him access to his own child just because he wouldn't supply a further means of contacting him.

[MAMA KIN]

All, thanks for your comments. The phone number is not the sole reason. There are other reasons why I have stopped him from seeing his child.

1. He has all my contact details including my place of work and is told immediately if anything changes - IT TOOK A YEAR TO TELL ME HIS ADDRESS despite constant asking.

He lives 3 hours away - his choice - from us so its not as if I am going to be knockin on his door any time soon!

2. He has stopped paying for maintrenance - why should I let him play father when he doesn't support her? (He is in full time employment and earns more than me and my partner together)

Just for extra background on the kind of bloke he his. When he had her for Xmas, Santa didn't come. All the presents were from him and wife No3. Nice eh!

No, I am not jealous of the fact that he has re-married, I left him and am currently engaged mysef.

[Reverandfunk]

So how often do you see your kids legend?

[Reverandfunk]

Legend based on what Mama Kin has said I think the bloke is just an ar5ehole.

I am divorced actually and do have a rather simplistic approach to it because why should it be complicated?