Not really a question?????

[EngTeach]

Things have calmed down since the wake and funeral for my mom. I guess things went as well as could be expected. No major family issues, (except for my stupid father-which is a whole other story) as funerals can bring out the worst in families.

I believe my mother would have been pleased with the way things went, she did have a chance to plan things with our minister. I was actually able to give a short eulogy and soooo many people attended both the wake and funeral. There were 26 cars in the procession which is amazing and a great tribute to my mother.

What broke me up the most was that 15 of my students who graduated last year attended the wake, and 2 who I am especially close to attended the funeral. I have received numerous emails from around the country from students, past and present, expressing their sympathy. Those kids were amazing to me.

I felt very uplifted by the experience which is intermingled with the grief. If that makes sense????

I read all the posts expressing condolences and support and can only inadequately say thank you.

[dot.hawkes]

It sounds like she had a good send off, what tunes did you have in the church? I always find it a very moving a personal thing, we had The Big Country and The magnificent Seven themes for my Dad and Que Sera Sera and The Wonder Of You for Mum.

[bigmamma]

Evening EngTeach , it is good that your mum had a really moving and well attended funeral and that it went the way she would have wished. You will need to work through all your feelings as they come to you and Ihope you will find the strength within yourself. All the best , thinking of you :-)
xxx

[pussnboots]

Hello Eng Teach. this is the way thngs are supposed to happen in life. Your parents die before you, and you will die before your children it is the normal way things are (if you're lucky) this process is supposed to be. Just remember your mum for all the happy times that is all she would want, and now carry on giving your children the memoriee that they will keep of you. God bless xxxxxx

[stewey]

I realize that I may get trashed, But, Eng Teach, I think that we have had enough of the prologue and epilogue of your Mother's death. I am not really being insensitive, but family members die all the time: we carry on.

[lindapinda]

This site is used by so many people for many different reasons. For some it is a genuine social interaction site and for others it is a way to cause controversy at the expense of other people's feelings ...I think a member's mother's death is the thin red line.

[Redbel]

EngTeach, I'm so glad mum had the send off she deserved.
Thank you for letting us know how it went xxxxxxx

[EngTeach]

Dot, we had "How Great Thou Art", and 2 modern christian songs "How Great is My God" and "Majesty" Many people commented on the nice music and service. Thanks for the kind words and support.

Stewey- Kiss my a$$. Many people expressed concern and I waited a few days in order to not be overly emotional., I have seen numerous others post similar threads, but none get so crude a response. I believe i posted about mom in hospice and asked questions of others and then when she passed and nothing relating to it since then.

[lindapinda]

Sorry EngTeach,I got distracted..I meant to say to you,that,that is the weird thing with funerals,nice little gems come out of the bad.

[stewey]

Linda, no 'controversy' (strange word to use) was intended in my posting. For some reason I believe that a death in the family is 'in the family'. I have had my parents die, a sister, a nephew, and numerous aunts and uncles. I always found comfort from people around me, not strangers with key-boards many miles away who have no awareness of the situation

[Redbel]

Stewey, don't you also think that at times, you cannot express what you want to your family members for fear of upsetting them. I lost my mother 27 years ago and I'll tell you what, I'd have loved somewhere like AB to come and just pour out my heart as I couldn't with my close family. They where all grieving and suffering with their own pain.
Just seeing the support that people get on AB makes me happy, if I have helped in anyway, even just to make someone smile......that will do me.

[lindapinda]

I don't want to cause any more upset to EngTeach at this time Stewey,by getting into a dispute.I would only say,that you may cope with family deaths in the way you find comfortable,and that is absolutely right. If someone else chooses to find comfort online in a family site like AB is,then that is fine too. Your post just after a funeral though,was insensitive...and therefore controversial.

[EngTeach]

Stewey, First let me apologise for my rude command about a rude part of my anantomy. Not how I usually react.

I realise that for some people it might be strange to turn to a place like AB. It really is not about not being able to share or not having people, it's my personality. I am a sharer. I talk and talk things through. It's how I am.
While I do not have off AB relationships with AB people as some seem to, I have developed another circle of people I enjoy interacting with. "friends" even.

And to think i was controlling my posting about this, what must my real-life friends think?LOL!
All is good Stewey.

[stewey]

Redbel. Perhaps it's an age difference; I don't know really know. You state that you could not comfortably express your feelings at the funeral. Funerals can bring out the best behavior and the worst antagonisms of any social gathering. Even though it's quite ironic, that's life. Coming back to the age difference, I cannot see myself expecting sympathy, empathy, or meaningful condolences from unknown people etched upon a computer screen. Just my opinion: and that is what this site is about.

[Redbel]

Stewey, I was 17 at the time. I could not express how I felt to my dad or sisters and brothers. It was not my way and still isn't. We all have our own ways of grieving.........mine was to cry on my own....as I didn't want to upset anyone else. So AB would have been a great place at that time for me.

[warpig3]

Eng Teach I am glad the funeral went well and for the amount of respect that was shown to your mother and your family. As Linda says sometimes in the depts of darkness there is a little light.

As for Steweys comments, just ignore them, your posts are genuine unlike the 'I really fancy this guy but my goldfish doesnt like him, what should I do' type. Everyone deals with grief in different ways and if support on-line helps then that is were to seek it.

warpig xx

[eyeshade]

I'd rather read this post in, funnily enough titled "body and soul" of which I happen to think death is very much apart of that section, than "what is your favourite day" or "what did you have for breakfast". I think EngT has more than the right to post his feelings/experiences here, the same as anyone else. Not only that, Stewey some people on here seem to be quite young and have probably never experienced death or grief in their lives and to some, it comes as a complete shock. Reading others experience may be of some help in coping.

[Pippa68]

Hi EngTeach,

How wonderful that you made such a mark on those kids lives that they turned up to pay their respects to your mom..as well as email contact.

Your mom would be proud x

[O'Reilly]

You know teach, little things mean a lot. The funeral of my Mom passed in a blur of heartbreak but what I do remember is 4 people that worked with her in three previous jobs that somehow heard about the funeral and travelled miles (like minimum of 500 miles) to attend her service. It's those thoughts that come to mind when I think of a bleak day in November - not the actual service - but how so many people (that I knew just as names) thought enough of her to travel so far to pay their last respects. I know now that she was special to many "outsiders" as she was to her family. Its good for me to know and appreciate that although she has gone her life affected so many apart from me and therefore she carries on her own legacy elsewhere and apart from her families memories.

[Kleiber]

Eng Teach - thank you for keeping in touch with us at a time that has been so difficult for you. Ignore the inane comments on here - the majority of us are truly caring and as you said, many people have posted similar on this site (me included). I agree that sometimes you can feel that you've got friends on here, even though they're hundreds of miles away & you've never met them, face to face.
Now that the funeral's over, you've been through the worst and your Mum would want you to be happy for the rest of your life. Go for it, kid!! K xx