benifits

[henrys]

my young pal got a girl pregnant
the baby is his
he is willing to pay maint
she found out he has a lot of flats rented
she lives in a council house
now demanding money for herself
and a 200 thousand pound house
can she do that
and get it
tia

[China Doll]

Hopefully.

[henrys]

not a very interesting answer

[China Doll]

On the surface it's not but actually it is.

What it does is give away my viewpoint that I think this question to be a question asked deliberately to start people off the knee jerk brigade. That being the case it also gives them something to knee jerk about as it's not a particularly useful answer and therefore I should have kept it to myself etc... There is also in it an experession of sympathy for the woman with the baby which may tell you something of my view of your friend. Since I answered on the side of the woman, you can probably guess that I have little to no sympathy wiht your mate.

So you see, you can get all that from a one word answer which does make it quite an interesting answer. Unlike this one.

[jake-the-peg]

Well you have painted a pretty unsymathetic picture of someone who doesn't appear ready to face up to his responsibilities.

You make it sound as if he wants to scarper and never see them again and just wants to pay the minimum he can get away with.

That may not be true but it's how you make it sound.

So I'm not surprised CD said that.

I'd suggest he try really hard to be grown up about it and stay on good terms with her.

He's going to be dealing with this for a long time now and if it all gets nasty from day 1 he's going to give himself 16 years or so of serious grief

[Lil O'lady]

The haiku reply:
keeping trousers closed is good
2k compo claims
will line the pockets of lawyers

ah, grasshopper, learn the ways of abstinence

[Androcles]

D|id she know he had the flats before she got pregnant? And how did your young friend get all these flats? Did he get her pregnant because he had a couldn't care less attitude because he owned all these flats? Some of many questions.... but are there any answers?

[sognol]

he is 29
he buys flats
buy to let
he got a biy tipsy in a club
told her all about himself
took her home

[sognol]

he is not a happy man

[dot.hawkes]

Hi henrys how are you?

For some ABers henrys style may seen unfamiliar, but he has been a member here for several years and is a very thoughtful and interesting person.

I think your pal should maybe try to build a relationship with her as the baby is on the way and hopefully she will see he is trying to support her and the child

[sognol]

he is going to support the baby

he is very mean with money
as i said before
he is foolish when he is a bit tipsy

[showcatbenga]

From the brief details you give it would seem that you friend can & should support his child financially. It will be better for all if this is done without the CSA. He should get information on how much maintenance is fair for this child & pay it regularly into a bank account without complaining. This sets the scene for a positive future relationship with his child. He can get legal advice & write to the mother giving her the information on the settlement, his legal obligations & expectations for decisions involving the child & access to his child in the future.
Any more is up to him - does he want an easy future with this child? If so give the girl what she wants. Or is he going to be realistic?

[showcatbenga]

Forgot to add - He must write a will!

[tigerlily11]

The thread never says he is not willing to pay for the childs upkeep. Thats good for him.
As for pointing out that he should keep it in his trousers, it take two to tango. Had either of them not heard of contraception.
I know accidents can happen but most of the time its just lack of forsight.
Sounds like this girl has a bad case of "Heather Mills syndrome".
Take him for everything hes got.