Dont want to offend!

[tamirra]

Hi, my daughter has a boyfriend who is 19 but not to sound to nasty he is not up to my standards of cleanliness and he wants to cook us a meal, im not saying he is dirty in anyway, its just that he has horrible teeth, short bitten finger nails and im a little bit more fussy as to who makes my meals, we have been invited next weekend for the meal, and i really dont think i could go, how can i put it over to them that i would rather not go without offending either of them, i know its a lovely gesture and i would have loved to take them up on it, but i just cant. Any advice on how to say no thankyou nicely. Thanks.

[lilacben]

Tamirra, Why can't you talk to your daughter about this and ask her,without putting her boyfriend down, all the questions that are on your mind.You will never know if you dont go and find out . As others have said you are very lucky a 19 years old has even invited you to dinner. My daughter's partner is 30 and has never made me a sandwich let alone a meal.! and that is in 9 years.!

[wiggal]

I agree with the previous posts!
Not only should you be very grateful at the offer, you should also think about how lucky your daughter is to have meet a bloke, who at 19 years old can cook a meal, let alone invite his girlfriends parents round for dinner!!

I'd say get over it, be grateful and go and enjoy yourself, not only for your daughters sake, but for her boyfriends sake who obviously cares a lot for your daughter and wants to do what he can to make her happy!

Sorry, rant over!!

[Velvetee]

I know what you mean Tamirra, I would feel loathed to eat from someone a bit grotty looking.

But as others have said, horrible teeth and bitten nails, don't indicate an unclean person, maybe the bad teeth are as a result of some childhood illness and genetics and maybe he feels so nervous when he visits your home, for fear of your disapproval, he's bitten his nails to the quick.

Surely if you've raised your daughter in a clean and decent manner, she wouldn't want to date someone who was unwashed and had filthy habits. You should probably go for the meal and just eat the food, don't think about how it was prepared, just grin and bear it, to keep the relationship between you and your daughter on good terms.

[Ice.Maiden]

tamirra hun - this is your dauighter's choice of partner you're talking about. I doubt if you're going to be poisoned - and the guy's teeth have no bearing on whether he washes his hands or not.. Go and enjoy that meal. It's the same as when a child drops a sweet on the ground, picks it up and eats it. Not nice - but have you ever known one to fall ill because of it? If your daughter's fit and well, I assume her bf's cooking's alright.

[youngun20002]

why not offer to buy a chinesse or something as a way out of it so to him like no dont worrie about cooking ill get us a meal out my treat as a young lad myself id apreciate that i think, if you realy think its that bad, thanks

[suzi-q]

As the mother of 2 sons, I have to say, I feel rather maternal towards this poor lad. He sounds a sweetheart and I hope you can overcome your distaste and have the meal. Having said that it almost sounds like you have a bit of a phobia building up about this situation.

I would try to go, in the interests of family relationships. It can't be as bad as you think and the problem is really all in your mind.

Best of luck x