I dont want to take my son anywhere

[rebajayne]

Hi
I have a 6 year old son who has had behaviour problems for quite some time. He has just received funding at school for support during his lessons and seems to be calming down and making friendships. I on the other hand am getting worse for becoming a recluse when I have him on my weekends or through the week. My partner asks me to join in with his family but I feel too intimidated and am always on edge, worrying that he is going to hurt one of the other children or just kick off with me because he can not get his own way.
I can not see a way out of feeling like this and am starting to think its only going to get worse especially since me and my partner are going to be moving in together.
What can I do to make myself want to join in (this is only when I have my son when he is at his dads on the weekend I will join in family events quite willingly). Do I just join in and hope I become comfortable with it?

[Rtaxron]

Is he on medication?

[rebajayne]

No. He has been checked for ADHD and they said he hasnt got that.

[cazzz1975]

I know where your coming from! I have 2 children with autism and they have a range of behavioural difficulties, it is very easy to become a recluse as a result especially when you are dealing with other peoples stares and comments.

however you will only make things worse by not going out more, my advice is every weekend plan a small trip to the shop or park, it will be difficult to start with but if its a short walk to the shop the behavioural problems should be minimised.

in fact any short walk that has a start, middle and end should be enough to build up your confidence and let him mix with the real world. ignore other people's attitude and work on making a short walk fun (when we get to the shop we buy a sweetie, or we play with our toy at the park)

ensure he knows what will be happening and the route you will take to head of problems, if he doesnt want to go, dont force him but always offer, it will get better xx

[annie0000]

Can you ask the support at school what techniques they are using that are getting a good response?

It would be useful to use the same techniques and he would benefit from the consistency of approach.

He will also be feeding of your stress and will play up accordingly, if you try to show that you are calm and in control, he will probably behave better.

Good Luck.

[snow.maiden]

Like cazz, I have an autistic son who's "had his moments". It hasn't always been easy at all, but rather than exclude your son from trips out - take him, and go out with him, but try to keep him occupied and interested in things. During nice weather, you can take him out to all sorts of places where he can let off steam - or go swimming together, etc. Ask at school what kind of support they give, and whatever happens, try not to let your son feel as though he's getting in the way. He may just need a lot of attention. If you find this daunting, have a word with your doctor, to make sure that you're not just depressed or too anxious. There's a lot of help out there. Best of luck. x