shy child

[zzxxee]

i have a painfully shy child who is 11 and although has a few friends at school does not seem to want to mix outside school.. she doesnt seem to be interested in any activities outside school and is due to start secondary school in september.. im really worried how she is going to cope and really want her to gain some confidence over the holidays any ideas??

[zzxxee]

no i have an older daughter but there is a seven year age gap

[unhappychick]

My daughter is like that, she is 13, I have enrolled her on a course of activities for the summer holidays, otherwise she would be quite happy to sit in her room all day watching tv or playing the computer which I dont think is healthy! It was organised by the school and she gets 9 days out over the 6 weeks to places like thorpe park, the zoo, art classes etc, all for �20!!!! which I was very pleased about, they pick her up at a pick up point just down the road from me and even provide lunch...I was impressed! Its very hard to get them motivated when they are like this...maybe you should find out if the school are running any courses or activities in the 6 weeks holidays, or maybe suggest taking her and a friend to the pictures, take them in there and make sure they get in safely and go and do a bit of shopping and meet them after when the film has finished, I did this with my daughter and she loved the idea of independence! Hope this is of some use to you and good luck!

[taichiperson]

Secondary schools often run a summer school for new pupils - my youngest son met the Drama teacher and was picked out for the lead in the school play! It helps them get to know the school and some of the kids they'll be with. I hope your school does something similar.

[natalie_1982]

Don't make her feel like she has to go on the day trips though zzxxee; I was a painfully shy child and often felt bullied into attending these sorts of sumer trips and found them utterly excrutiating and they actually made me worse. I found it really hard to just go up and talk to people and when people made the effort to talk to me I would clam up. It is something that I had to tackle on my own and am now a "normal" outgoing and friendly adult with lots of friends. I don't think anyone who knows me now would realise what an awkward child I was.

Does your daughter have any interests that she could start at a new club? I hope to get my daughter involved in out of school activities from a young age as I think that is why I found it so difficult as I was never "taught" how to make friends or just approach people. When I was in school I never had any interests or friends from out of school from, for example, a band, or a gymnastics club, or Brownies, or dance class, etc. Have a look at your local leisure centre with your daughter and see if there is anything you could start together so she could see you being outgoing and making new friends too.