two grandchildren

[herondawn22]

well i need to know if i have rights to see my grandsons well last september i fell ill and suffered from encephaltis. my son never came to see in hospial i was in there for 7 weeks never came once. the rest of my children did my eldest son came every day .. and my 2 girls but the 19 years never did and now he dont talk to me and i dont talk to him . i am right to not talk to him.....

[CheekyChops]

I'm confused. Who is the 19 year old, your son or your grandson? How old are the grandchildren?

I really can't work out who is who and who you are speaking to and who you aren't. Sorry :-(

[redcrx]

you dont have to talk to your son (i presume the 19 year old) if you dont want to.

A grandparent has no automatic rights to see a grandchild. So if your son refuses to let you see them then there is nothing that you can do Im afraid

[daisycup]

I would suggest talking to your son. Life is too short and if you want to see your grandsons then you should speak with you son.

[lil75]

19 is a young age and people of that age are sometimes quite selfish....either that or he has a problem with you, I would ring him and ask what the problem is.....a long term rift is a lot harder to deal with rather than making a quick phonecall and hopefully sorting whatever it is out! I can understand your hurt, but he may be hurting about something too x

[Hermia]

I agree with lil75 re: ringing him to find out what the problem is. Not only are youngsters selfish they are also immature. I remember my grandmother being ill when I was that age and doing everything I could to get out of going to see her because I was frightened. I just didn't have the maturity to deal with someone I loved being ill. And the ward she was on was very scary with lots of old people who were bewildered or were yelling all the time.

[herondawn22]

Thank u all, very much for your advise it does make sense what u are all saying .on numberous occasions i called my son ,and his partner answers, she then says to my son "your mum on the phone and she would like to speak to you, he answers no! then your dad would like to speak to you then, his answer again is no!! so maybe times an healer, but we done nothing wrong ,has we helped them with money also caring for our granchild overnight stay so they can rest..like good parents would!! i've been advise to let then be... and they will aventurely grow-up, and know what it means to be a parent , this advice was from family and friends.to leave them be ...what would you do?

[Tups]

Does your 19 year old have children? Not entirely sure who's who and what's what. The important thing though is that you can't force someone to want to speak to you, sad though your situation is. I think if I were you, I would let things ride for a while and do nothing. Just keep up contact with birthday and Christmas cards. (Don't include money; he'll probably take it without thanking you.) You could add a simple sentence to the card 'I'm here if you need me'. Then hope that he will soften and contact you. It won't be easy for him to eat humble pie and make contact again so you will need to be prepared to respond happily to him if/when he does. Don't allow yourself to criticise or complain about the way he's been treating you. Just be there for him. I do hope things get better for you; I know how painful it is when a child rejects you. My daughter went through a very bad patch. I thought I would never get her back but now we are very close again. Don't give up.