wedding day or not??

[lozzylou]

hi me and my partner are looking at setting a date. as my partner has been married before, we cannot find a vicar that will marry us. my local vicar who christened my boys has give me an option. he said if we went to a register office on the fridayto sign the papers. he would perform the ceramony in church on the saturday. he said it will all be the same apart from that we wont be signing the book, as legally we would already be married.
what are your thoughts on this, i am thinking that yes i get my big day in a church but part of me wont feel like its my big day as legally we would already be married.

what do you all think?

[terambulan]

Saturday is a holiday for civil registrars.....probably Y you get 'legal' on a weekday.

[lozzylou]

i know that, i was asking how people would feel inside there own heads, would they still see the ceromony as there big day even though legally they married the day before

[andy-hughes]

I understand how you feel - if it is important to you to have your proper legal day in church, then i would be inclined to find a minister who will marry you. As second marriages increase, far more iministers take an enlightened view to performing ceremonies for couples in this situation, so have a look a bit further afield.

On a personal note, i am an atheist, so we could have married in a phone box for me, but my wife is Catholic, and we had a full mass, which I enjoyed, but obviously it meant more to her than to me.

It is your day, stick out for what makes you happy.

[lozzylou]

thanks andy, i am not a catholic but i would like a church wedding. we have looked at a lot of ministors, and they wither wont do second marraiges or we do not live in there parish. do you know who i would write to that would know what churches will or wont. i live in birmingham

[andy-hughes]

There will be a diaocesan directory for your area, and the diocese of Birmingham is very extensive - we come under it here in Stoke, and we are forty miles north of Birmingham.
Ask your local library if they have a copy, or your priest may lend you one to look at.

[lozzylou]

thanks andy

[andy-hughes]

You are most welcome - hope you get the day you want.

A x

[bednobs]

i dont think your answer is correct terambula - oads of people get married on a saturday in civil cermonies - me included!

[CathH]

I know what you mean about it not being the same - and it won't be because you will have been married the day before.
Why dont you go for a civil ceremony in a big hotel or somewhere. You can still have your big wedding, but it would take away the stress of finding the minister. Unless you are doing it for religious reasons.
Just a thought.
Hope you manage to sort something out.

[coccinelle]

Here in France you can't get 'married' in a church so you have to go to the 'Mairie'. However, after this you can get a religious ceremony which a lot of people do. This is what your local vicar is suggesting. I have a friend who got married at the Mairie in the November (a very small affair)for legal reasons then had her big day (the whole works) when it was warmer in the May the following year. She only really felt married after the church ceremony.
Couldn't you try to get your civil marriage on the morning then the church ceremony in the afternoon?

[helena2207]

Hi Lozzylou,

Is it a Catholic Marriage? It is the same in my country as in France, you have to marry legally we call it " Marriage Civil" then you get marry in a religious church, some church wedding don't take place up to 6 months after and in my country even thought you are married Civil, which is legal, you cannot live as husband and wife until you get married in a church religiously. so you might be married Civil, both man and woman would live with their families until the church wedding.

regards


helena

[RavenD]

You can get married anywhere, the last time I knew God doesn't live in a church. But I think only Methodists allow for remarriage.