Film, Media & TV0 min ago
mother in law
26 Answers
Aaaarrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Give me strength!
No question folks - just wanted to vent my frustration!
Give me strength!
No question folks - just wanted to vent my frustration!
Answers
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I am an expert on evil mothers in law!
Mine pushed even my husband too far when she pretended to have cancer - he hasn't spoken to her for years.
Still didn't stop her fom telling anybody that will listen that I tore her family apart or from sending a card congratulating him on being pregnant ( I didn't get a mention on card, apparently I had nothing to do with it ).
Mine pushed even my husband too far when she pretended to have cancer - he hasn't spoken to her for years.
Still didn't stop her fom telling anybody that will listen that I tore her family apart or from sending a card congratulating him on being pregnant ( I didn't get a mention on card, apparently I had nothing to do with it ).
Why is it that you have a perfectly normal woman, her son gets married, she becomes a mother-in-law, and then the jokes start and she automatically acquires 'a reputation'?
I suppose there are some women who can't let go of their sons and when they get married they compete with the wife to be the number one in the man's life but we're not all horrible people.
My son got married two years ago and my daughter in law is fabulous. I absolutely adore her and we'd do anything for each other to help one another. She makes my son so happy and a year ago gave us our first grandchild so she can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned.
Have you tried making a friend of your mother-in-law? Doing something nice for her? You don't elaborate on her faults except to say she interferes - could this be her tactless way of trying to be helpful. It's such a shame that you don't get along when you both love the same man and he's caught in the middle of the battleground.
I suppose there are some women who can't let go of their sons and when they get married they compete with the wife to be the number one in the man's life but we're not all horrible people.
My son got married two years ago and my daughter in law is fabulous. I absolutely adore her and we'd do anything for each other to help one another. She makes my son so happy and a year ago gave us our first grandchild so she can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned.
Have you tried making a friend of your mother-in-law? Doing something nice for her? You don't elaborate on her faults except to say she interferes - could this be her tactless way of trying to be helpful. It's such a shame that you don't get along when you both love the same man and he's caught in the middle of the battleground.
She's a psycho!
Chucked my husband out when he was 19 because he refused to promise that she would always be the most important person in his life.
Last we heard from her was the week after my dad died when she sent a letter with one line saying she was sorry about my dad, followed by 5 paragraphs of how much she missed her son and she was willing to forgive him ( !! ) and start again. Just proved she han't changed at all - still manipulative, self centered and doesn't give a hoot about my feelings.
Chucked my husband out when he was 19 because he refused to promise that she would always be the most important person in his life.
Last we heard from her was the week after my dad died when she sent a letter with one line saying she was sorry about my dad, followed by 5 paragraphs of how much she missed her son and she was willing to forgive him ( !! ) and start again. Just proved she han't changed at all - still manipulative, self centered and doesn't give a hoot about my feelings.
i try.. believe me, i try.
I always take her something when i go to see her, be it a book, a nice cake, whatever. theres never a word of thanks, she looks at it, and dismisses it.
i sit there and listen to her go on and on about the neighbours business, whos done what to who, etc etc.
I phone her, make sure shes ok.
As far as i am concerned, i do everything i can to help, be nice to her.
BUT - theres constant remarks on how it was my decision to make her son move so far away from her (30mins drive!!). over the years, theres been comments on how shes got nobody now that her husband has died and her son has moved away "so far away"!!!!
the latest one, is how we never go to visit her - we were there 2 weekends ago because we were going on holiday the following day! now, im sorry but im not able to pop round when im on holiday!! so this week, i have been visiting my family, who live even further away (2hour drive). this added a bee to her bonnet, about how we always spend the night when we go to my parents! how petty is this - or am i wrong?
I always take her something when i go to see her, be it a book, a nice cake, whatever. theres never a word of thanks, she looks at it, and dismisses it.
i sit there and listen to her go on and on about the neighbours business, whos done what to who, etc etc.
I phone her, make sure shes ok.
As far as i am concerned, i do everything i can to help, be nice to her.
BUT - theres constant remarks on how it was my decision to make her son move so far away from her (30mins drive!!). over the years, theres been comments on how shes got nobody now that her husband has died and her son has moved away "so far away"!!!!
the latest one, is how we never go to visit her - we were there 2 weekends ago because we were going on holiday the following day! now, im sorry but im not able to pop round when im on holiday!! so this week, i have been visiting my family, who live even further away (2hour drive). this added a bee to her bonnet, about how we always spend the night when we go to my parents! how petty is this - or am i wrong?
Sorry jb---Ithink you are trying too hard to please on this one.Why not just back off a little, why take her gifts if she dismisses them .Save your money spend it on you and your husband, eg buy a nice bottle of wine and when you have it , you can mentally toast her health.
Harden up a little jb ,you may find that it works.
When she wants to borrow money ,don't have any available.
Harden up a little jb ,you may find that it works.
When she wants to borrow money ,don't have any available.
i take her the gifts to compensate perhaps? i know shes likes reading so i take her a book. she always has cakes around so i take her a cake!
perhaps we dont visit as often as we should but we have our own lives. she cant be that lonely, like i say, her daughter lives next door and she has 2 little ones who spend a lot of time there (the eldest of the 2 has his bedroom in her house).
is it cos ive taken her son away from her?
shes 6 years older than my mother, and i cant seem to relate to her in the same way. my mother is young for her age i suppose, whereas mother in law is not. i dont suppose that helps my tolerance levels!
perhaps we dont visit as often as we should but we have our own lives. she cant be that lonely, like i say, her daughter lives next door and she has 2 little ones who spend a lot of time there (the eldest of the 2 has his bedroom in her house).
is it cos ive taken her son away from her?
shes 6 years older than my mother, and i cant seem to relate to her in the same way. my mother is young for her age i suppose, whereas mother in law is not. i dont suppose that helps my tolerance levels!
That's a real shame. Can't your husband talk to her or your sister-in-law (if you have a good relationship with her) to speak on your behalf and tell her how lucky she is to have a good daughter in law like you?
I don't know what else you can do but at least your conscience is clear that you've tried to get along with her. You've put the effort in and she's a foolish woman to treat you the way she does.
I don't know what else you can do but at least your conscience is clear that you've tried to get along with her. You've put the effort in and she's a foolish woman to treat you the way she does.
ok, now I've had my rant I'll try to be helpful. : )
Firstly, dismissing the thing you take round.Is it possible that's just the type of person she is. My gran finds it almost impossible to she say likes something or to thank you. Don't know why and it is frustating but we have come to realise that's just her and she is pleased with the things we do. So stick with that, I'm sure she does appreciate it in her own way.
Some of it does sound like jealousy or finding it hard to let go. Does your husband stick up for you or point out that you made the decision as a couple to move. Does he realise how much her remarks hurt you?
How recent was her husband's death. Maybe she is just feeling a little lost and lonely. It sounds as if she knows you and your husband will do a lot for her and that's why she keeps asking. Maybe she doesn't feel the daughter does a lot for her. Next time she asks for a lift somewhere politely tell her your busy and suggest she asks her daughter. The response might give you a better idea of their relationship.
I know it's hard. I hope you can find a way to deal with her and keep your sanity.
Firstly, dismissing the thing you take round.Is it possible that's just the type of person she is. My gran finds it almost impossible to she say likes something or to thank you. Don't know why and it is frustating but we have come to realise that's just her and she is pleased with the things we do. So stick with that, I'm sure she does appreciate it in her own way.
Some of it does sound like jealousy or finding it hard to let go. Does your husband stick up for you or point out that you made the decision as a couple to move. Does he realise how much her remarks hurt you?
How recent was her husband's death. Maybe she is just feeling a little lost and lonely. It sounds as if she knows you and your husband will do a lot for her and that's why she keeps asking. Maybe she doesn't feel the daughter does a lot for her. Next time she asks for a lift somewhere politely tell her your busy and suggest she asks her daughter. The response might give you a better idea of their relationship.
I know it's hard. I hope you can find a way to deal with her and keep your sanity.
thanks yinyang.
i do think shes naturally an abrupt/bordering on rude person, and so any gifts probably wouldnt be appreciated. ive already given up on that one!
as for her husband, he passed away 3 years ago.
i dont think ive expressed how much she annoys/upsets me until this time, and ive certainly made my partner realise i dont appreciate pitting one family against the other in terms of who gets to see us the most!
i do think shes naturally an abrupt/bordering on rude person, and so any gifts probably wouldnt be appreciated. ive already given up on that one!
as for her husband, he passed away 3 years ago.
i dont think ive expressed how much she annoys/upsets me until this time, and ive certainly made my partner realise i dont appreciate pitting one family against the other in terms of who gets to see us the most!
I sympathise!! I got rid of mine a few years ago. A big big upset caused by her - which I could see coming a mile off so I just let her carry on her meddling and it all blew up in her face. Husband nor I have spoken to her in 5 years and likely never will again.Spiteful old cow!
If I ever have kids I really hope I never behave like that to my in laws
If I ever have kids I really hope I never behave like that to my in laws
It sounds a bit like you might have to fight rudeness with overwhelming politeness!
Next time she complains that you don't stay over at hers say something like ' oh we don't want to impose, especially as you've already got ( grandson ) sleeping here. The last thing we want is to be any trouble to you'. All said with a sweet smile. It might just throw her off her stride.
The idea of speaking to your sister in law is a good one too, if you're close to her. You might be surprised at what she says. I mentioned my gran earlier; I hear things from relatives like ' your gran told me how much she loved your birthday present / proud she was of such and such', but she never says it directly to me. Maybe your mother in law is actually saying nice things ( or at least her idea of nice things ) behind your back.
Next time she complains that you don't stay over at hers say something like ' oh we don't want to impose, especially as you've already got ( grandson ) sleeping here. The last thing we want is to be any trouble to you'. All said with a sweet smile. It might just throw her off her stride.
The idea of speaking to your sister in law is a good one too, if you're close to her. You might be surprised at what she says. I mentioned my gran earlier; I hear things from relatives like ' your gran told me how much she loved your birthday present / proud she was of such and such', but she never says it directly to me. Maybe your mother in law is actually saying nice things ( or at least her idea of nice things ) behind your back.
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